Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Rantful Grandma Update - long

Alright, I am beginning to feel like the most evil child/grandchild in the world. I find myself getting angry so often now: angry at myself, at Mom and especially at Grandma.

To say this week has been one for the Mrs. Hyde record books would be putting it mildly. As you may know, I had to take Monday off to watch Grandma because our "sitter" had commitments. That's cool, except I'm losing a vacation day out of the deal, which is very uncool. (Mom's salaried. Next time is her turn.) Well, Saturday and Sunday were very boring and rather uneventful barring the fact that Grandma was really weak and needed help doing everything and refused to eat or take her pills until you really worked at it. Monday is a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

To start off, she was kind of weak, like she had been the entire weekend. Eating was a problem again, as were taking her pills. Then I got a phone call from the gas company. It seems the bill was past due. Now, my aunt was doing the bills for her. She's the executrix of the estate when Grandma kicks it, so I couldn't care less about her doing them, neither can Mom. Well, apparently, Grandma told her not to bother with them until after Christmas. (Dateline - JANUARY 25th!) My aunt seems to have thought that my other aunt or my Mom was taking care of the bills in that time. We're not allowed to!!! So, Aunt L thought Mom or TAFH was taking care of it and the bill just kept going and going like the damned Energizer Bunny.

Well, they called and I was given the number for the gas company's collections department. I called them and asked what was going on. Since I didn't have the account number handy I gave Grandma's info and was told that her name wasn't on the account. It isn't. We know this. It's still listed under my grandfather's name and SSN. He only died Halloween night, 1969. So, the rep told me that Grandma had to change it to her SSN. We've tried to make this happen, but she refuses. The rep told me how much was owed: a significant amount. Also, since Grandma's name isn't on the account and she hasn't given the gas company permission to speak to us about it, the rep wasn't even supposed to tell me how much was owed. She suggested having one of us put on the account with Grandma. I think she only gave me the amount when I told her that at least one payment she was talking about had come from my checking account.

I told Grandma this is what the rep said and she told me not to worry about "her business." Now, the rep also told me that since all the occupants of the house were over 18, we were all liable for the bill. This sort of makes it my business, especially since Mom and I have been paying a small amount towards it each month through our checking account for a year. She went on about how I wanted to take everything away from her and I was always poking into her business and it just degenerated from there. I came upstairs and hid, as usual and she did her "in one ear, out the other thing". She'd said her piece and made me feel like mud, so what did she care now, eh?

Anyway, after Mom came home I gave her a short rundown of the bill and Grandma let loose on me again, this time bringing Mom into it when she actually supported me. She ended up asking Grandma if she wanted us to move out and let my uncle and aunts take care of her. Grandma actually had the gall to say that they couldn't take care of her. Why not? If we are so terrible, then how can we take care of her and not them? Oh, wait, I forgot. They have lives. We have an existence that revolves around making an aging, resentful woman happy at the expense of our sanity and own happiness. They have families and careers. We have each other and only one career, Mom's. They have better things to do with their lives and she never wants to bother or put any of them out. Mom and I? Ha-ha!

I haven't been out of the house (other than work) for more than half an hour since Mom and I went to see The Producers the last time TAFH was in at Christmas. Wait, I'm wrong. Mom and I took Grandma to Friendly's (a nice family restaurant nearby) about a week ago. We were gone from the house for about two hours - and in Grandma's presence the entire time. TAFH is coming in this weekend with a mixed blessing. She called and told us to make plans to go out Saturday night because she'd watch Grandma. Of course, the downside is an entire weekend of having a third person harp at me, but it's worth it for the time away from Grandma. I think I'll take off early Saturday morning and spend the day at the library while I have the reprieve.

Yesterday, Mom got me pissed off, as did Mrs. Hyde. I think my rope is just about frayed for the week, because today at work something just snapped in me when I saw the mess the overnight crew had made of an aisle I had to redo. I was furious. I still am. I'm so angry right now it's not even funny. I don't know why except that I have no real outlet for my anger. I could take it out on Mom, but she gives back even worse than she gets. It must be a mother thing, because I can't take it out on Grandma, she just gets even more vicious with her insults. I need to take up boxing.

You know, amazingly enough, now that Mom and I are sort of giving Grandma a bit of the cold shoulder and not catering as much, she's much stronger. Could it have to do with the fact that she knows we're not inclined to be as nice and sweet and solicitous at the moment? She's not hungry today and I don't feel like pushing. I heard her go into the refrigerator as I was typing this anyway. That may have something to do with my comment, "Fine. I don't feel like playing this game right now. If you get hungry you know where the kitchen is." I then came upstairs and sat down to get this off my back/shoulders/mind. They all hurt right now.

So, I just went to the store while Aunt L and her daughter were here taking care of the bills (Yes, her daughter can help take care of the bills and she's a year younger than me: thin, pretty, married with a good career, her own house and not living here as the whipping girl. If I didn't love my cousin dearly it would be so easy to be jealous of her.) and bought a 2 liter bottle of soda, which I thoroughly intend to drain dry tonight, diet bedamned. I may not be able drink liquor but give me Pepsi and I'm happy enough.


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