Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relatives. Show all posts
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Funeral planning 3
How does one get through funeral planning without adding a body to the hole being dug for the deceased? Any hints?
Funeral planning
Grandma, Mom and her other sisters had done a lot of end-of-life planning before this, so a lot of the stuff a person generally has to do has already been done. The casket and that type of stuff was already taken care of. However, things like the music and flowers are things we've needed to do.
It's so strange. I am both sad and happy at the same time. I'm just not sure if it's selfish happiness as in, "Wahoo! I don't have to be a caregiver anymore" or "She's with Grandpa finally and at peace." I think it might be a little of both actually.
Anyway, I'm going to be a pallbearer. I've requested it. I NEED to do it. It's the last thing I can do for her. Hah! The females in the family who have heard the plan so far are pretty much acting like, "Okay, whatever." The guys have, if not questioned it, then at least noted the uniqueness of the idea. I looked up a few things on pallbearing, specifically female pallbearers and I see it's not an old idea at all. Apparently nuns do it all the time and there was a lady back in the 40's whose friend did it because guys never took her out when she was alive and she didn't want them taking her out when she was dead! Mom and TAFH want my oldest female cousin to do it, as well, if she can. This would mean all of the grandchildren are playing an active role in the funeral.
Well, the aunts and my uncle are coming over at 9am to plan the rest of whatever else has to happen. I'm going to go to Borders around 1pm for the NaNo write-in. Even if I don't get much accomplished, I need to get away from funeral planning for a while. Maybe I'll look for a more somber outfit to wear at the funeral while I'm out. All of my skirts are pretty brightly colored.
It's so strange. I am both sad and happy at the same time. I'm just not sure if it's selfish happiness as in, "Wahoo! I don't have to be a caregiver anymore" or "She's with Grandpa finally and at peace." I think it might be a little of both actually.
Anyway, I'm going to be a pallbearer. I've requested it. I NEED to do it. It's the last thing I can do for her. Hah! The females in the family who have heard the plan so far are pretty much acting like, "Okay, whatever." The guys have, if not questioned it, then at least noted the uniqueness of the idea. I looked up a few things on pallbearing, specifically female pallbearers and I see it's not an old idea at all. Apparently nuns do it all the time and there was a lady back in the 40's whose friend did it because guys never took her out when she was alive and she didn't want them taking her out when she was dead! Mom and TAFH want my oldest female cousin to do it, as well, if she can. This would mean all of the grandchildren are playing an active role in the funeral.
Well, the aunts and my uncle are coming over at 9am to plan the rest of whatever else has to happen. I'm going to go to Borders around 1pm for the NaNo write-in. Even if I don't get much accomplished, I need to get away from funeral planning for a while. Maybe I'll look for a more somber outfit to wear at the funeral while I'm out. All of my skirts are pretty brightly colored.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
***Fuming***
Some asshole told Grandma there was no hope of coming out of the Rehab facility. If it was a real person and not her own fears talking and I find out who they are I will simply and utterly destroy them. Now she doesn't want to eat or do her exercises. She just wants to give up altogether.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Mom and I have a bad feeling it was my uncle. He apparently has told TAFH (who is decidedly less Hellish these days but for the sake of consistency she will remain so named) that he doesn't want Grandma to go home. What is it to him, really? He wasn't her caregiver. He barely comes over here. Jerk. He supposedly is thinking about Mom and I and how difficult it'll be to care for a much less self-sufficient Grandma, but does he really think he has ANY right to unilaterally make that decision for her and US? No. If it was him that planted that poisonous thought in her brain ... ARGH! He's her damned son and he should be encouraging her, not tearing her down.
Is it really illegal to kill people? I could do it in a truly amusing way. Honestly, I'm creative. He (or whomever the jerkwad is) could mysteriously slip into a vat of chocolate at Gertrude Hawk's and for some strange reason be pushed under each time he came up for air. Or how about death by music? He could be tied to a chair, no, let's make him comfortable, his bed and be forced to listen to Britney Spears music for hours until he goes completely mad. When released the poor creature would jump out of a twenty story building, plummetting to his death. Or a really cool bounce, although I'm sure there would still be broken bones.
I'd be amused, anyway.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Mom and I have a bad feeling it was my uncle. He apparently has told TAFH (who is decidedly less Hellish these days but for the sake of consistency she will remain so named) that he doesn't want Grandma to go home. What is it to him, really? He wasn't her caregiver. He barely comes over here. Jerk. He supposedly is thinking about Mom and I and how difficult it'll be to care for a much less self-sufficient Grandma, but does he really think he has ANY right to unilaterally make that decision for her and US? No. If it was him that planted that poisonous thought in her brain ... ARGH! He's her damned son and he should be encouraging her, not tearing her down.
Is it really illegal to kill people? I could do it in a truly amusing way. Honestly, I'm creative. He (or whomever the jerkwad is) could mysteriously slip into a vat of chocolate at Gertrude Hawk's and for some strange reason be pushed under each time he came up for air. Or how about death by music? He could be tied to a chair, no, let's make him comfortable, his bed and be forced to listen to Britney Spears music for hours until he goes completely mad. When released the poor creature would jump out of a twenty story building, plummetting to his death. Or a really cool bounce, although I'm sure there would still be broken bones.
I'd be amused, anyway.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Shoot me now, please.
Okay, I'm ready to scream. About a week ago Grandma fell and hurt her back. This was right before my aunt's wedding. She's in pain, a lot of it. So, of course, she deals with this by walking from her bedroom to the living room to the bathroom to the living room to the bed again. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! She won't believe us that she'll recover better by staying still!
If I end up in jail tonight charged with murder, leave me there. I need the vacation.
Oh, and my aunt (not TAFH) has arranged with her best friend, Grandma's only reliable caregiver, to watch her new granddaughter instead of Grandma. Selfish fucking bitch. So, now we get to try Telespond and their idiotic boss and unrelaible caregivers again.
The wedding was really nice, though.
If I end up in jail tonight charged with murder, leave me there. I need the vacation.
Oh, and my aunt (not TAFH) has arranged with her best friend, Grandma's only reliable caregiver, to watch her new granddaughter instead of Grandma. Selfish fucking bitch. So, now we get to try Telespond and their idiotic boss and unrelaible caregivers again.
The wedding was really nice, though.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
This has not been a good day, well, weekend. TAFH came in Friday night. Cool beans, right? I had to work and had a pretty good time, actually. Then, Saturday morning Mom and I took off for breakfast downtown. We had a nice meal. She left to work a bake sale and I went to the library to research. While there the author of I Heard You Paint Houses gave a talk on his book and the various mob connections in the area. After that I went to see Iron Man again. Sounds pretty good, right? It was. Friday night and Saturday morning were the best part of my weekend.
Right after the bus pulled out of downtown to go to the mall so I could get to work, I got a phone call. Mom was being driven to Mercy Hospital from Honesdale because her leg wasn't working right. I just stayed on the bus and rode it right back to where I'd gotten on, making a number of phone calls the whole trip. It's a damn good thing I finally put minutes on the silly cell phone Friday night! I had been down to 10 cents. My brother and I stayed at the hospital until it was clear she was being admitted. They ran the usual gamut of tests minus the MRI. That is scheduled for tomorrow. It turns out the neurologists believe she has complex migraines. She has a history of migraines, so this really isn't too much of a shocker. We found this out this morning.
Mom's Mother's Day hospital stay isn't really the bad part and as I'm typing this I'm calming down even more because the whole weekend could have been so much worse. The problem stems from TAFH's OCD anal-retentive fucking attitude. Obviously, I had a disagreement (to be polite) with the woman today.
It was all about the house. She insists on cleaning, or re-cleaning, the house every time she comes in because we don't do things to her exacting standards. She calls it "a pig-sty." I am "lazy" because I don't clean it from top to bottom, just the way she likes it, every day. I will freely admit I don't clean as much as I could or even should. I refuse to run the vaccuum and do the dishes only when I absolutely have no other choice. I'll do anything else, though. The house may not always be immaculate, but it's always at least neat.
Now, in her defense (sort of, since she was only using it as an excuse for her normal behavior), she kept insisting that the cleaning we had to do was all for Mom's benefit, because Mom shouldn't have to come home to it. Well, after an hour of being pecked at I decided to leave the house. Without doing what she wanted me to do. I did some of it, gathered my things and told Grandma I was going for a walk. She followed me out the door and tried to tell me off. I am proud of the fact that her face is all still in one piece. If I could have, she'd be sharing Mom's room due to extreme bodily trauma and I'd be sitting in jail right now, happy as a clam for finally tearing her smug, superior face and attitude to shreds.
My only regret right now is that I broke down and told Mom what happened. Mom's in the hospital with migraines brought on by stress and work and I had to add to it. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I'm sorry. My brother, who was told by TAFH what happened, asked me not to say anything a bit too late. He was surprisingly restrained in what he said to me. Other than telling me I have no common sense, as usual, the ass, he told me I had to control my emotions. I told him I control them a heck of a lot more than he thinks I do. I need to use better judgement, though in when to control them according to him. Usually he just comes solidly down on TAFH's side, so as annoying as his "advice" was I was proud of him for not just jumping on me totally.
I told Mom as I was walking to the crick. There's a spot there that I can sit and relax. Today I cried a bit with Mom on the phone and then by myself. Then a wind came up as I was sitting there with my eyes closed. It dried my tears and kept going until I felt some of the pain lift away. Between it and the sound of the water, I was able to calm down. I'm still upset. I will be for a while, but not nearly so much as I was. I may not be the most devout Pagan, but every once in a while They make Their presence known and I'm grateful for it.
I wrote a lot more than this while I was sitting at the hospital with Mom and my brother. I'm much calmer now, though and don't need it all written out.
TAFH is giving me the silent treatment and she and Grandma have gone to visit Mom. I warned Mom and told her to be nice. She said it'll be difficult, but the pain and drugs will mask any distant behavior, I think. She's more upset with TAFH than me. I just have to get through a few more hours and TAFH will be gone and all will be back to normal. Well, as normal as this household gets. I imagine Grandma will have words for me.
Right after the bus pulled out of downtown to go to the mall so I could get to work, I got a phone call. Mom was being driven to Mercy Hospital from Honesdale because her leg wasn't working right. I just stayed on the bus and rode it right back to where I'd gotten on, making a number of phone calls the whole trip. It's a damn good thing I finally put minutes on the silly cell phone Friday night! I had been down to 10 cents. My brother and I stayed at the hospital until it was clear she was being admitted. They ran the usual gamut of tests minus the MRI. That is scheduled for tomorrow. It turns out the neurologists believe she has complex migraines. She has a history of migraines, so this really isn't too much of a shocker. We found this out this morning.
Mom's Mother's Day hospital stay isn't really the bad part and as I'm typing this I'm calming down even more because the whole weekend could have been so much worse. The problem stems from TAFH's OCD anal-retentive fucking attitude. Obviously, I had a disagreement (to be polite) with the woman today.
It was all about the house. She insists on cleaning, or re-cleaning, the house every time she comes in because we don't do things to her exacting standards. She calls it "a pig-sty." I am "lazy" because I don't clean it from top to bottom, just the way she likes it, every day. I will freely admit I don't clean as much as I could or even should. I refuse to run the vaccuum and do the dishes only when I absolutely have no other choice. I'll do anything else, though. The house may not always be immaculate, but it's always at least neat.
Now, in her defense (sort of, since she was only using it as an excuse for her normal behavior), she kept insisting that the cleaning we had to do was all for Mom's benefit, because Mom shouldn't have to come home to it. Well, after an hour of being pecked at I decided to leave the house. Without doing what she wanted me to do. I did some of it, gathered my things and told Grandma I was going for a walk. She followed me out the door and tried to tell me off. I am proud of the fact that her face is all still in one piece. If I could have, she'd be sharing Mom's room due to extreme bodily trauma and I'd be sitting in jail right now, happy as a clam for finally tearing her smug, superior face and attitude to shreds.
My only regret right now is that I broke down and told Mom what happened. Mom's in the hospital with migraines brought on by stress and work and I had to add to it. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I'm sorry. My brother, who was told by TAFH what happened, asked me not to say anything a bit too late. He was surprisingly restrained in what he said to me. Other than telling me I have no common sense, as usual, the ass, he told me I had to control my emotions. I told him I control them a heck of a lot more than he thinks I do. I need to use better judgement, though in when to control them according to him. Usually he just comes solidly down on TAFH's side, so as annoying as his "advice" was I was proud of him for not just jumping on me totally.
I told Mom as I was walking to the crick. There's a spot there that I can sit and relax. Today I cried a bit with Mom on the phone and then by myself. Then a wind came up as I was sitting there with my eyes closed. It dried my tears and kept going until I felt some of the pain lift away. Between it and the sound of the water, I was able to calm down. I'm still upset. I will be for a while, but not nearly so much as I was. I may not be the most devout Pagan, but every once in a while They make Their presence known and I'm grateful for it.
I wrote a lot more than this while I was sitting at the hospital with Mom and my brother. I'm much calmer now, though and don't need it all written out.
TAFH is giving me the silent treatment and she and Grandma have gone to visit Mom. I warned Mom and told her to be nice. She said it'll be difficult, but the pain and drugs will mask any distant behavior, I think. She's more upset with TAFH than me. I just have to get through a few more hours and TAFH will be gone and all will be back to normal. Well, as normal as this household gets. I imagine Grandma will have words for me.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Apples and Oranges
Thank the Gods for TAFH (and my brother, too, I guess). Grandma will be going down to her house one weekend a month every month (hopefully). Someone will bring her down and my brother will bring her home after his monthly weekend for the Reserves. She went down this last weekend and Mom and I really got out.
After work on Friday I got to the library to do some genealogy research. Saturday I went downtown to look for benchmarks and take some pictures. Afterward, Mom and I went to both Miller's and Roba's corn mazes! We went to Miller's first but were less than impressed. the maze was too easy. However, they had apple trees to pick. That was fun. Then we went to Roba's (successful guilt trip on Mom for once!) and got lost in the maze for about an hour and a half. Loved it!
We had to replace the thermostat last night.
Today I left work early because we had no one to watch Grandma after 9am. I left at 10:30 and got a ride halfway so I only had about fifteen minutes to walk. I just couldn't afford to leave any earlier, by money and workload standards. I feel guilty about leaving her alone for two hours, but I need to make money so I can afford to buy her food and pay the heating bill and all that fun stuff.
I realized as I was walking that I actually feel guilty about eating at home. Unless I specifially buy something for my particular consumption, I don't like eating here. I feel like I'm eating something she might have wanted. Does this make sense? As it is, Mom and I have totally given up on eating Gluten-free. It's impossible to buy enough variety of foods that Grandma will actually be willing to eat and still buy the much more expensive foods that Mom and I can eat. If the choice is to make sure Grandma eats and buy something safe for us, we choose to feed Grandma. We basically have to buy two to three times what she actually eats for her because we have to go through such a list before we finally hit something she'll eat. The woman refuses to eat GF for us. She'll eat whatever TAFH serves, but she gives us problems every time.
For lunch today, I made her a microwaveable turkey and dressing meal. She refused to eat it. Instead, she was willing (after many suggestions) to eat half a cheese sandwich. I took one piece of bread, folded it and stuck cheese in between, then I got griped at that it wasn't half a sandwich. Probably because it wasn't cut diagonally. *sigh* Adventures in Grandma-sitting, indeed.
After work on Friday I got to the library to do some genealogy research. Saturday I went downtown to look for benchmarks and take some pictures. Afterward, Mom and I went to both Miller's and Roba's corn mazes! We went to Miller's first but were less than impressed. the maze was too easy. However, they had apple trees to pick. That was fun. Then we went to Roba's (successful guilt trip on Mom for once!) and got lost in the maze for about an hour and a half. Loved it!
We had to replace the thermostat last night.
Today I left work early because we had no one to watch Grandma after 9am. I left at 10:30 and got a ride halfway so I only had about fifteen minutes to walk. I just couldn't afford to leave any earlier, by money and workload standards. I feel guilty about leaving her alone for two hours, but I need to make money so I can afford to buy her food and pay the heating bill and all that fun stuff.
I realized as I was walking that I actually feel guilty about eating at home. Unless I specifially buy something for my particular consumption, I don't like eating here. I feel like I'm eating something she might have wanted. Does this make sense? As it is, Mom and I have totally given up on eating Gluten-free. It's impossible to buy enough variety of foods that Grandma will actually be willing to eat and still buy the much more expensive foods that Mom and I can eat. If the choice is to make sure Grandma eats and buy something safe for us, we choose to feed Grandma. We basically have to buy two to three times what she actually eats for her because we have to go through such a list before we finally hit something she'll eat. The woman refuses to eat GF for us. She'll eat whatever TAFH serves, but she gives us problems every time.
For lunch today, I made her a microwaveable turkey and dressing meal. She refused to eat it. Instead, she was willing (after many suggestions) to eat half a cheese sandwich. I took one piece of bread, folded it and stuck cheese in between, then I got griped at that it wasn't half a sandwich. Probably because it wasn't cut diagonally. *sigh* Adventures in Grandma-sitting, indeed.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
What a Woman Wants! (rant warning)
Someone kindly tell me what I did in a former life to deserve this one. I am getting more and more discontent with this whole babysitting grandma bullshit. Actually, I passed discontent a couple of years ago. It's so hard to maintain a positive outlook on life when the only thing you can be positive of is that you will wake up around 3am, go to work, possibly get a chance to chill at Borders for 45 minutes to an hour, come home and stay in your room waiting for grandma to actually need you. This is your life every Monday through Friday. Every weekend, you get to be the one making her breakfast and lunch and usually dinner, because your mother, her daughter, works most weekends so she can have a day off during the week in which she takes care of grandma. For this round the clock care, you get emotionally and verbally abused by a woman succumbing to dementia and diabetes. Your relatives treat you as if you should be thankful because, don't you know, you're getting a free place to live. Excuse me?! Grandma pays three bills, all directly related to her individual and specific care. She pays for her health insurance, the caregivers that come in when we have to work and her meds. Lately, Mom and I have paid for a lot of those meds and we're going to be taking over all of the taxes this next year.
I have no life. I have few friends. I have no boyfriend. I have no college degree, hence no future doing what I love to do. I feel like any time and money spent on myself is basically theft. I have arranged to take sewing classes. This will cost $75 and will run from 6:30 to 8:30 pm every Wednesday for the next 5 weeks. Mom has to make sure she can be home those nights. I get a small opportunity for self-improvement, but Mom hasn't had any time out for herself lately, so I feel like I'm being selfish in that I'm taking time that she could be using going out. Even though she doesn't.
I'm whining. Oh, woe is me, poor me, my life is so hard. I have a job. I have food (even if a lot of it is poison to me since grandma won't eat GF for us - only TAFH). I have a place to live. I have some spare money for hobbies. I may not have a lot of them, but the friends I do have are worth their weight in gold-pressed latinum. There are people out there who have none of the above and don't whine. So, that makes me selfish for whining in the first place, I guess. You know what? Feck it. I want to be selfish in this. I'm getting the raw end of the deal here. I spend more time with grandma than anyone else in the family and my only reward is abuse. I think I have a right to vent a little.
Here's a list of what I want:
1. Master's Degree in Library Science so I can make something of myself.
2. A boyfriend. Lots of wild monkey sex would be really nice. He should also have a brain that functions well above his shoulders, if I'm not asking too much.
3. Time to myself. Time to do what I want to do. Time in which I am not tied to a baby monitor waiting for my grandmother to call my name. Time in which I do not have to rush home every day and could go downtown and research if I so choose.
4. A relationship with my family that doesn't send them running the other way if I call them because I might be calling them to ask for help with their mother or grandmother.
5. The opportunity to travel and have adventures. There is so much of this world I have not seen, even with the whole army-brat thing. I want to see Africa and Asia. I want to walk the Giant's Causeway in Ireland and bask in the glory of Stonehenge on Solstice. Oh, and I want to fly to these places myself, in my own plane because before I die I will get my pilot's license. Hell, just the chance to hop a bus on Wednesday morning and take in a play in New York or visit my friends in DC would be exotic travel at this point, yearly vacations notwithstanding. Mom and I earn those vacations with every hole we bite in our tongues and every tear we shed silently when we should be trying to get sleep so we don't imitate the walking dead at work the next day.
I have no life. I have few friends. I have no boyfriend. I have no college degree, hence no future doing what I love to do. I feel like any time and money spent on myself is basically theft. I have arranged to take sewing classes. This will cost $75 and will run from 6:30 to 8:30 pm every Wednesday for the next 5 weeks. Mom has to make sure she can be home those nights. I get a small opportunity for self-improvement, but Mom hasn't had any time out for herself lately, so I feel like I'm being selfish in that I'm taking time that she could be using going out. Even though she doesn't.
I'm whining. Oh, woe is me, poor me, my life is so hard. I have a job. I have food (even if a lot of it is poison to me since grandma won't eat GF for us - only TAFH). I have a place to live. I have some spare money for hobbies. I may not have a lot of them, but the friends I do have are worth their weight in gold-pressed latinum. There are people out there who have none of the above and don't whine. So, that makes me selfish for whining in the first place, I guess. You know what? Feck it. I want to be selfish in this. I'm getting the raw end of the deal here. I spend more time with grandma than anyone else in the family and my only reward is abuse. I think I have a right to vent a little.
Here's a list of what I want:
1. Master's Degree in Library Science so I can make something of myself.
2. A boyfriend. Lots of wild monkey sex would be really nice. He should also have a brain that functions well above his shoulders, if I'm not asking too much.
3. Time to myself. Time to do what I want to do. Time in which I am not tied to a baby monitor waiting for my grandmother to call my name. Time in which I do not have to rush home every day and could go downtown and research if I so choose.
4. A relationship with my family that doesn't send them running the other way if I call them because I might be calling them to ask for help with their mother or grandmother.
5. The opportunity to travel and have adventures. There is so much of this world I have not seen, even with the whole army-brat thing. I want to see Africa and Asia. I want to walk the Giant's Causeway in Ireland and bask in the glory of Stonehenge on Solstice. Oh, and I want to fly to these places myself, in my own plane because before I die I will get my pilot's license. Hell, just the chance to hop a bus on Wednesday morning and take in a play in New York or visit my friends in DC would be exotic travel at this point, yearly vacations notwithstanding. Mom and I earn those vacations with every hole we bite in our tongues and every tear we shed silently when we should be trying to get sleep so we don't imitate the walking dead at work the next day.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Anger Management?
I'm angry. I find myself to be so angry I could spit nails. It's not even because of any one thing. It feels like everything is just pressing down on me and I have no way of relieving that pressure.
Mom has today off, so she and my brother are going golfing. I'm angry that she gets to enjoy her day off when I usually spend mine watching her mother while she's working. Then I'm angry at myself for even thinking that way, because she usually spends her days of watching Grandma while I'm working. My anger isn't fair. I guess anger isn't supposed to be.
I'm angry because my brother decided it's okay to lecture me about the house not being clean enough for his standards. He also wants to put my boxes of books up in the attic and down in the basement while the kids are here so there's more room. Lovely idea (phbt!) except for the fact that I would never get the damned things back down or up. If we put them in the basement, Grandma will have a fit if I dare bring a box back up. If we put them in the attic, she'll have a fit that they're even there. Also, it's much harder to get into my attic than the basement. I want them in my room, where I can get to them, t I just know Mom will side with him and we'll end up doing what he wants.
I'm angry because as my brother was talking to my step-sister on the phone he told her hello from me and she didn't even respond in kind. Not that I really expected manners from her, but they would have been nice. I'm continually angry that my cousins love to get together, but never invite me.
I'm angry because I really hate my period. I'm angry because yesterday there was a nice breeze outside, so I turned off the air conditioner and opened the doors and Grandma kept closing them and I kept opening them. I'm angry that I'm not losing any weight - losing inches, but staying the same weight. I'm angry that I keep pushing my goals in life back while I take care of someone else who is, frankly, too old to do anything else truly constructive in this lifetime. I'm angry that I'm 31 and have never been properly kissed and haven't even had a hug from a non-related guy in much longer than I can even remember.
It's all such petty stuff that's getting to me. Yet, at the same time, it feels so important. This anger feels important even as I know that it doesn't do me any good. A person can live without books (but who's want to?!), without dates *whimper* or nights at the bar with cousins. I could definitely live without my period. A person can ignore that annoying, arrogant, self-righteous pain-in-the-ass they call a brother - except he just follows you around and keeps talking and always acts like you're the irrational one.
*Sigh* I'm going to go stitch. I want to finish my Green Man by tomorrow.
Mom has today off, so she and my brother are going golfing. I'm angry that she gets to enjoy her day off when I usually spend mine watching her mother while she's working. Then I'm angry at myself for even thinking that way, because she usually spends her days of watching Grandma while I'm working. My anger isn't fair. I guess anger isn't supposed to be.
I'm angry because my brother decided it's okay to lecture me about the house not being clean enough for his standards. He also wants to put my boxes of books up in the attic and down in the basement while the kids are here so there's more room. Lovely idea (phbt!) except for the fact that I would never get the damned things back down or up. If we put them in the basement, Grandma will have a fit if I dare bring a box back up. If we put them in the attic, she'll have a fit that they're even there. Also, it's much harder to get into my attic than the basement. I want them in my room, where I can get to them, t I just know Mom will side with him and we'll end up doing what he wants.
I'm angry because as my brother was talking to my step-sister on the phone he told her hello from me and she didn't even respond in kind. Not that I really expected manners from her, but they would have been nice. I'm continually angry that my cousins love to get together, but never invite me.
I'm angry because I really hate my period. I'm angry because yesterday there was a nice breeze outside, so I turned off the air conditioner and opened the doors and Grandma kept closing them and I kept opening them. I'm angry that I'm not losing any weight - losing inches, but staying the same weight. I'm angry that I keep pushing my goals in life back while I take care of someone else who is, frankly, too old to do anything else truly constructive in this lifetime. I'm angry that I'm 31 and have never been properly kissed and haven't even had a hug from a non-related guy in much longer than I can even remember.
It's all such petty stuff that's getting to me. Yet, at the same time, it feels so important. This anger feels important even as I know that it doesn't do me any good. A person can live without books (but who's want to?!), without dates *whimper* or nights at the bar with cousins. I could definitely live without my period. A person can ignore that annoying, arrogant, self-righteous pain-in-the-ass they call a brother - except he just follows you around and keeps talking and always acts like you're the irrational one.
*Sigh* I'm going to go stitch. I want to finish my Green Man by tomorrow.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
And she's off!
I think it's a record. Aunt L was in and out today in ten minutes. Bills written out, fruit in the fridge and poof!
Anyway, Aunt P is coming over later to take Grandma with her for a drive so I can go to Borders for a book signing. I'll have a few hours to myself and some fellow book-lovers.
I got a new DVD player to replace the one my brother bought me. It wouldn't read any of the DVDs I tried in it, so I switched it out with a Magnavox, instead of another Durabrand (Wal*Mart's store brand). I also went to Borders and exchanged the Superman DVDs for another set. When they manufactured the cases, they left some small bumps inside that scratched up the original set before I'd even opened it. The manager let me open up the new one and we had to switch out two DVDs with some from the original set because they were scratched, too.
So, I have to get Grandma ready by 1pm, feed her lunch and figure out if I can afford two books at Borders instead of one. Oh, I guess I should eat something myself befre I leave.
Anyway, Aunt P is coming over later to take Grandma with her for a drive so I can go to Borders for a book signing. I'll have a few hours to myself and some fellow book-lovers.
I got a new DVD player to replace the one my brother bought me. It wouldn't read any of the DVDs I tried in it, so I switched it out with a Magnavox, instead of another Durabrand (Wal*Mart's store brand). I also went to Borders and exchanged the Superman DVDs for another set. When they manufactured the cases, they left some small bumps inside that scratched up the original set before I'd even opened it. The manager let me open up the new one and we had to switch out two DVDs with some from the original set because they were scratched, too.
So, I have to get Grandma ready by 1pm, feed her lunch and figure out if I can afford two books at Borders instead of one. Oh, I guess I should eat something myself befre I leave.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Week in review, long...
This has been an interesting week - neither good nor bad, just interesting.
I managed to read quite a few books at Borders, including Transformers: Ghosts of Yesterday, by Alan Dean Foster. I bought the Transformers novelization by him to read at home. I also read the Prequel graphic novel at work, when I should have been putting it on the shelf. I couldn't help myself! It was like something else had taken over my hands and eyes and just wouldn't stop reading it. (Do you believe that? If so, there's a bridge I know of up for sale. Great price, truly.) Anyway, reading them is just making me want to see this movie even more. This is going to be a really good move summer. Between Transformers, HP, Fantastic Four and the new Die Hard movie, I'm going to have loads of fun.
I bought one of my Brit-stitch mags at Borders. There was a free Passione Ricamo pattern. She's gorgeous. I think I might show it to my niece and see if she wants me to make it for her in purple. The pattern is actually in mauve and pink. It's the full version of this one: Summer Lady. I also found an ad for a series of patterns that I really want to try "someday": Spirit Angels
Total aside: I just spoke to my cousin for over an hour. We ranged from the Supreme Court and Equal Pay to Darfur to Celiac to various relations to Guatemala to college and jobs and I absolutely adore this girl. I think she is my favorite cousin. She is passionate about causes and books. She can be petty at times (who isn't?) and is sometimes very silly (as opposed to my constant silliness...), but she is the one out of her sisters that I can trust to treat me like a normal person and not the cousin that no-one wants to deal with because dealing with me means dealing with Grandma.
What else happened? Let's see, I only worked 30 hours again, just like for the next two weeks. Target is keeping me at just over what I can claim on a partial. They did, however, give me more for the overnight differential. All of us who start work at 4am get it. It still doesn't make up for the time lost this last month or the fact that I have to get up at three in the frickin' morning. As a positive, I've had more time to myself the last few weeks. We've not changed the time I get home, even though I've been getting out earlier. The extra time has been nice. I could get used to it. I just can't get used to the lower wages.
I stashed a bit and went to Hancock Fabrics. I still want some of that linen on sale. *sigh* I might go there on Monday, since it's 60% off. Or Friday.
I wanted to get my permit, so I could say I'd gotten one of my goals for the year accomplished, but when I called I found out I couldn't yet. Apparently, I absolutely need my birth certificate (and a lot of other things!). Since Uncle Sam currently has it so he can issue me a passport, that plan is on indefinite hold.
Grandma has been decent. Her sugar has dropped mid-day lately, but it's so damned hot. Mom and I got the air conditioner in downstairs yesterday, so that should help. I'm camped out in front of mine. I like it. A lot. Aunt L came over to do the bills and I was able to make a quick run to the store for Grandma's soda while she was here.
There was probably more I wanted to note, but this is long enough. Enjoy the heat if you like it and the air conditioner if you have it. If you don't like the heat and don't have an air conditioner, I hope you're in the Antarctic!
Oh wait, one more thing! I saw that the Superman Ultimate Collector's Edition is back on the shelves. Now I just have to get the money for it quickly before they're all gone.
I managed to read quite a few books at Borders, including Transformers: Ghosts of Yesterday, by Alan Dean Foster. I bought the Transformers novelization by him to read at home. I also read the Prequel graphic novel at work, when I should have been putting it on the shelf. I couldn't help myself! It was like something else had taken over my hands and eyes and just wouldn't stop reading it. (Do you believe that? If so, there's a bridge I know of up for sale. Great price, truly.) Anyway, reading them is just making me want to see this movie even more. This is going to be a really good move summer. Between Transformers, HP, Fantastic Four and the new Die Hard movie, I'm going to have loads of fun.
I bought one of my Brit-stitch mags at Borders. There was a free Passione Ricamo pattern. She's gorgeous. I think I might show it to my niece and see if she wants me to make it for her in purple. The pattern is actually in mauve and pink. It's the full version of this one: Summer Lady. I also found an ad for a series of patterns that I really want to try "someday": Spirit Angels
Total aside: I just spoke to my cousin for over an hour. We ranged from the Supreme Court and Equal Pay to Darfur to Celiac to various relations to Guatemala to college and jobs and I absolutely adore this girl. I think she is my favorite cousin. She is passionate about causes and books. She can be petty at times (who isn't?) and is sometimes very silly (as opposed to my constant silliness...), but she is the one out of her sisters that I can trust to treat me like a normal person and not the cousin that no-one wants to deal with because dealing with me means dealing with Grandma.
What else happened? Let's see, I only worked 30 hours again, just like for the next two weeks. Target is keeping me at just over what I can claim on a partial. They did, however, give me more for the overnight differential. All of us who start work at 4am get it. It still doesn't make up for the time lost this last month or the fact that I have to get up at three in the frickin' morning. As a positive, I've had more time to myself the last few weeks. We've not changed the time I get home, even though I've been getting out earlier. The extra time has been nice. I could get used to it. I just can't get used to the lower wages.
I stashed a bit and went to Hancock Fabrics. I still want some of that linen on sale. *sigh* I might go there on Monday, since it's 60% off. Or Friday.
I wanted to get my permit, so I could say I'd gotten one of my goals for the year accomplished, but when I called I found out I couldn't yet. Apparently, I absolutely need my birth certificate (and a lot of other things!). Since Uncle Sam currently has it so he can issue me a passport, that plan is on indefinite hold.
Grandma has been decent. Her sugar has dropped mid-day lately, but it's so damned hot. Mom and I got the air conditioner in downstairs yesterday, so that should help. I'm camped out in front of mine. I like it. A lot. Aunt L came over to do the bills and I was able to make a quick run to the store for Grandma's soda while she was here.
There was probably more I wanted to note, but this is long enough. Enjoy the heat if you like it and the air conditioner if you have it. If you don't like the heat and don't have an air conditioner, I hope you're in the Antarctic!
Oh wait, one more thing! I saw that the Superman Ultimate Collector's Edition is back on the shelves. Now I just have to get the money for it quickly before they're all gone.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I'm actually calmer now...
Barb from AAA talked to Mom and has listed the accusations as "unfounded". Great, wonderful, but they're still there and that's going to fester a bit, I think. Supposedly, she's going to try to find out what aide has been bringing food. We think the cold and the ceiling tile thing came from Lynn, Grandma's caseworker. However, we're off the hook as far as any investigation or anything like that.
I talked to a counselor today. I'll talk to her again next week and I think I might try to keep it up. I don't know how much it'll cost, but I think I need it. She asked me what I really want right now if I could have it and the answers were simple: more time to myself that I don't feel like I'm "stealing" and time to go back to school face to face, not just by computer. I enjoy school. I love going to classes and being with other students. It's fun. Of course, the only way either of those two goals would be accomplished is if: A, Mom gives up any life she has or B, the relatives start taking some responsibility for their mother/grandmother. Now, since the first is totally unfair to Mom and the second is almost an impossibility, I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I get out of this whole situation still loving my grandmother and not hating her for what we've gone through for the past five years.
*snort* I told her about the last two times I tried counseling and the unmitigated disasters that ensued and she promised me she wouldn't recommend letter or journal writing, so what am I doing now? No, I need to reclaim my writing, no matter what else happens in my life. It's a piece of my soul that I've been missing for far too long.
On a good note, except for the idiocy with the accusations, today and yesterday have been Grandma Days. Mrs. Hyde is nowhere to be seen. She's been talking to us, making jokes, starting conversation. She just ate some soup without a fight because she was cold. Usually I get at least token resistance about soup, no matter how freezing she is. Yesterday when we talked to her about the accusations she scoffed at them. On Grandma Days she knows we are here to take care of her. She's pretty cool on those days. Two in a row! It's when Mrs. Hyde is visiting that I stay in my room. We just ate in the kitchen together, talking nicely. She had her soup and I had a ham sandwich. It was nice.
Oh, I also finished my needle roll for my cross-stitch exchange. I really like how it turned out. The designs are based on Aesop's Fables. When the recipient gets it, I'll post a picture. Hee-hee. I worked on some of it while I was talking to Penny (the counselor). I even told her. She didn't say anything about it, so I don't think she minded. I just hate sitting around doing nothing with my hands while I'm on the phone or watching television for a long period of time. That reminds me, Mom is supposed to try to teach me how to crochet again...
I talked to a counselor today. I'll talk to her again next week and I think I might try to keep it up. I don't know how much it'll cost, but I think I need it. She asked me what I really want right now if I could have it and the answers were simple: more time to myself that I don't feel like I'm "stealing" and time to go back to school face to face, not just by computer. I enjoy school. I love going to classes and being with other students. It's fun. Of course, the only way either of those two goals would be accomplished is if: A, Mom gives up any life she has or B, the relatives start taking some responsibility for their mother/grandmother. Now, since the first is totally unfair to Mom and the second is almost an impossibility, I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I get out of this whole situation still loving my grandmother and not hating her for what we've gone through for the past five years.
*snort* I told her about the last two times I tried counseling and the unmitigated disasters that ensued and she promised me she wouldn't recommend letter or journal writing, so what am I doing now? No, I need to reclaim my writing, no matter what else happens in my life. It's a piece of my soul that I've been missing for far too long.
On a good note, except for the idiocy with the accusations, today and yesterday have been Grandma Days. Mrs. Hyde is nowhere to be seen. She's been talking to us, making jokes, starting conversation. She just ate some soup without a fight because she was cold. Usually I get at least token resistance about soup, no matter how freezing she is. Yesterday when we talked to her about the accusations she scoffed at them. On Grandma Days she knows we are here to take care of her. She's pretty cool on those days. Two in a row! It's when Mrs. Hyde is visiting that I stay in my room. We just ate in the kitchen together, talking nicely. She had her soup and I had a ham sandwich. It was nice.
Oh, I also finished my needle roll for my cross-stitch exchange. I really like how it turned out. The designs are based on Aesop's Fables. When the recipient gets it, I'll post a picture. Hee-hee. I worked on some of it while I was talking to Penny (the counselor). I even told her. She didn't say anything about it, so I don't think she minded. I just hate sitting around doing nothing with my hands while I'm on the phone or watching television for a long period of time. That reminds me, Mom is supposed to try to teach me how to crochet again...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Warning: Extreme Grandma Rant!
I don't know if I can truly express how angry and upset I am right now. I just received a call from the Area Agency on Aging. Apparently, Grandma's caseworker had some concerns about Mom and I when she visited last for two reasons.
1. The ceiling tiles in the bathroom need repair. They do, and my uncle has been promising to do it for the last two years. Mom and I simply don't have the knowledge to fix them. We replaced the roof a few years ago and had to rip out the old tiles. We were able to get most of them replaced before we ran into a snag that we couldn't fix. My uncle keeps saying he'll come out, but never seems to have the time. We have been slowly removing those that look like they have a tenuous hold on anti-gravity. I guess the case-worker saw them and is afraid they'll all come down and bonk grandma on the head. Fine, we've been trying to get them fixed, but I guess we should have, I don't know, hog-tied one of my uncles or the cousin who've been in construction, dragged them over and forced them to help take care of their mother/grandmother.
2. (And this is the one that really burns my ass) Supposedly, some of the aides have been bringing Grandma food because she says "there is none in the house". We buy food for her before and a hell of a lot more often than we buy it for ourselves. The pantry is full, so is the refrigerator. The problem lies in the fact that she simply doesn't want to eat anything other than chips, butter pecan ice cream, jello and fruit, with her diet soda washing it down. Mom and I buy stuff that's nutritious and filling, therefore it doesn't exist in Grandma's eyes. She eats it when she feels like it, if she feels like it and I guess none of the aides are pushing the issue with her like we have to. Of course, when TAFH is in, she eats whatever is put in front of her, because TAFH is taking care of her and dancing constant attendance.
I'm pissed, truly and utterly pissed. I'm shaking so hard that I have to keep hitting the backspace key to erase typing mistakes. I may not enjoy taking care of Grandma nine times out of ten, but I took on this responsibility and I will be damned if someone tells me I'm not taking care of her correctly. I give her more care and attention than I give my own health and mental well-being. Mom cries herself to sleep many nights. I just don't know what else to say. To think someone doesn't believe I'm taking care of her is mind-boggling.
They can live with her and try to get her to eat, bathe and change clothing. They can put up with her glaring at you if you dare to stay downstairs and watch television with her. They can learn to ignore constant insults about your weight and the fact that you "read too much" and "have too many books" and do those stupid crafts all the time (the only fucking things keeping me sane since I can't go back to school and get my degree because, surprise surprise, all the relatives are too fucking busy with their lives to let me go to classes). They can see what it's like to have one of the nicest people in your young life turn into Mrs. Hyde on you when you try to help her. They can come here and see the difference in her personality when there is anybody here but Mom and I. She's an entirely different woman: personable, sweet, nice, kind. Everyone always tells me, "Oh, your Grandma is so nice and sweet." Yeah? Live with her. She's crabby, cold, unfeeling and a plain old bitch about four days out of the week. Two of the other days, she's just totally ignoring us because we made her eat something she didn't like or had to go somewhere and made her leave the house to sit in the car with the heat on full blast (she refuses to enter stores, so we rush around like mad chickens getting stuff done and out quickly) and maybe, just maybe, she'll actually be nice to us on the seventh day. We live for those days. On those days, my Grandma is back. My real Grandma - not the ready-to-die woman I've been living with for going on five years.
Ooh, I'll bet the fact that all Grandma wants to do is sleep on the couch all day is our fault, too. Maybe we should drag her up and out of the couch and somehow force her to do exercises. Anyone have a remote-operated, body-control device I can use?
This has not helped cool me down, especially since I know, logically, that the AAA was doing what they are meant to do and I'm grateful for their existence. They do a lot of good and are extremely necessary. I just never would have thought they'd think Mom and I don't take care of Grandma right. I'm crying now. I'm going to go break my diet and have some chocolate.
1. The ceiling tiles in the bathroom need repair. They do, and my uncle has been promising to do it for the last two years. Mom and I simply don't have the knowledge to fix them. We replaced the roof a few years ago and had to rip out the old tiles. We were able to get most of them replaced before we ran into a snag that we couldn't fix. My uncle keeps saying he'll come out, but never seems to have the time. We have been slowly removing those that look like they have a tenuous hold on anti-gravity. I guess the case-worker saw them and is afraid they'll all come down and bonk grandma on the head. Fine, we've been trying to get them fixed, but I guess we should have, I don't know, hog-tied one of my uncles or the cousin who've been in construction, dragged them over and forced them to help take care of their mother/grandmother.
2. (And this is the one that really burns my ass) Supposedly, some of the aides have been bringing Grandma food because she says "there is none in the house". We buy food for her before and a hell of a lot more often than we buy it for ourselves. The pantry is full, so is the refrigerator. The problem lies in the fact that she simply doesn't want to eat anything other than chips, butter pecan ice cream, jello and fruit, with her diet soda washing it down. Mom and I buy stuff that's nutritious and filling, therefore it doesn't exist in Grandma's eyes. She eats it when she feels like it, if she feels like it and I guess none of the aides are pushing the issue with her like we have to. Of course, when TAFH is in, she eats whatever is put in front of her, because TAFH is taking care of her and dancing constant attendance.
I'm pissed, truly and utterly pissed. I'm shaking so hard that I have to keep hitting the backspace key to erase typing mistakes. I may not enjoy taking care of Grandma nine times out of ten, but I took on this responsibility and I will be damned if someone tells me I'm not taking care of her correctly. I give her more care and attention than I give my own health and mental well-being. Mom cries herself to sleep many nights. I just don't know what else to say. To think someone doesn't believe I'm taking care of her is mind-boggling.
They can live with her and try to get her to eat, bathe and change clothing. They can put up with her glaring at you if you dare to stay downstairs and watch television with her. They can learn to ignore constant insults about your weight and the fact that you "read too much" and "have too many books" and do those stupid crafts all the time (the only fucking things keeping me sane since I can't go back to school and get my degree because, surprise surprise, all the relatives are too fucking busy with their lives to let me go to classes). They can see what it's like to have one of the nicest people in your young life turn into Mrs. Hyde on you when you try to help her. They can come here and see the difference in her personality when there is anybody here but Mom and I. She's an entirely different woman: personable, sweet, nice, kind. Everyone always tells me, "Oh, your Grandma is so nice and sweet." Yeah? Live with her. She's crabby, cold, unfeeling and a plain old bitch about four days out of the week. Two of the other days, she's just totally ignoring us because we made her eat something she didn't like or had to go somewhere and made her leave the house to sit in the car with the heat on full blast (she refuses to enter stores, so we rush around like mad chickens getting stuff done and out quickly) and maybe, just maybe, she'll actually be nice to us on the seventh day. We live for those days. On those days, my Grandma is back. My real Grandma - not the ready-to-die woman I've been living with for going on five years.
Ooh, I'll bet the fact that all Grandma wants to do is sleep on the couch all day is our fault, too. Maybe we should drag her up and out of the couch and somehow force her to do exercises. Anyone have a remote-operated, body-control device I can use?
This has not helped cool me down, especially since I know, logically, that the AAA was doing what they are meant to do and I'm grateful for their existence. They do a lot of good and are extremely necessary. I just never would have thought they'd think Mom and I don't take care of Grandma right. I'm crying now. I'm going to go break my diet and have some chocolate.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
A week of ups, downs and in-betweens
Up: Mom and I put a down-payment on our cruise at the end of July to the Caribbean. Also, we'll go a day early and see Kennedy Space Center before we cruise.
Down: Grandma had a sugar-spike episode in the middle of Old Country Buffet on Tuesday.
Up: I paid off my mattress and it's being delivered this Saturday between noon and 4pm.
Down: I have to finish reorganizing my room in two days so the guys can actually deliver the blamed thing. (So why are you on the computer, idiot?)
Up: Reorganizing my room will give me more space to work with (if I can move the dresser) and let me sort through my books; get rid of those I don't want on PaperbackSwap (Shameless plug - check out the link on the list on the right) and actually catalog the rest on LibraryThing.
In-Between: I have decided to go on a diet to lose two sizes (at least) before the cruise. Blech! It's a good thing I actually like salads and rice cakes.
Down: My brother was just here pirating our wireless for his job hunt and received a call from my oldest cousin, asking him if he wanted to go out for drinks. She has never asked me and I feel a little (a lot!) depressed at always being the odd cousin out. Oh, and when she was told where my brother was, she didn't bother asking how Grandma was doing or ask to talk to her.
Up: My brother and I had a normal conversation while he was here and he didn't, for once, try to tell me how to live my life. He was actually pretty nice for the most part and kept his snide remarks to a minimum.
Up: I sorta told off (gently) the co-worker who torments me the most after she kept taking the supplies I needed to do my job so she could do hers instead of getting them for herself. I felt good about that.
Up: I'm already pretty far on my nephew's birthday present after less than a week of stitching. I think I'll finish it in a matter of weeks, not months like I'd hoped. The Temple will take longer, but I expected it to take a while.
In-between: Kwan Yin is sort of on hold until I find out if I'll be able to get her to her recipient, as the girl quit where we work and I have no address for her at the moment. I have to email her and make sure she keeps me updated on it.
Wow! There are more ups than downs. I like that.
Down: Grandma had a sugar-spike episode in the middle of Old Country Buffet on Tuesday.
Up: I paid off my mattress and it's being delivered this Saturday between noon and 4pm.
Down: I have to finish reorganizing my room in two days so the guys can actually deliver the blamed thing. (So why are you on the computer, idiot?)
Up: Reorganizing my room will give me more space to work with (if I can move the dresser) and let me sort through my books; get rid of those I don't want on PaperbackSwap (Shameless plug - check out the link on the list on the right) and actually catalog the rest on LibraryThing.
In-Between: I have decided to go on a diet to lose two sizes (at least) before the cruise. Blech! It's a good thing I actually like salads and rice cakes.
Down: My brother was just here pirating our wireless for his job hunt and received a call from my oldest cousin, asking him if he wanted to go out for drinks. She has never asked me and I feel a little (a lot!) depressed at always being the odd cousin out. Oh, and when she was told where my brother was, she didn't bother asking how Grandma was doing or ask to talk to her.
Up: My brother and I had a normal conversation while he was here and he didn't, for once, try to tell me how to live my life. He was actually pretty nice for the most part and kept his snide remarks to a minimum.
Up: I sorta told off (gently) the co-worker who torments me the most after she kept taking the supplies I needed to do my job so she could do hers instead of getting them for herself. I felt good about that.
Up: I'm already pretty far on my nephew's birthday present after less than a week of stitching. I think I'll finish it in a matter of weeks, not months like I'd hoped. The Temple will take longer, but I expected it to take a while.
In-between: Kwan Yin is sort of on hold until I find out if I'll be able to get her to her recipient, as the girl quit where we work and I have no address for her at the moment. I have to email her and make sure she keeps me updated on it.
Wow! There are more ups than downs. I like that.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Oh, the Drama! And a serious note at the end.
She's home from the hospital. Actually, she came home on Thursday. She's back to her good moments and bad moments, so everything's normal. She has promised to eat vegetables, though and for the past few days, she has. Let's just see how this goes, eh? Of course, the week had to have more drama than just Grandma in the hospital, right?
Here goes, on Wednesday, yours truly decided to cut herself with a box cutter at work and is now typing (and attempting to cross-stitch at times) with two stitches in her left index finger. I had to go to Moses Taylor, where the nurse who stitched me up was so understanding and good about my needle phobia I left her a Reese's cup as a reward for dealing with me. Although, I kind of wish she had just knocked me put with a hammer when she gave me the drug to numb my finger for the stitches. Why is a cure always worse then the injury?
I found out after I got back to work, even though Moses Taylor had called Medcor about it from the hospotal, that I needed a drug test. So after work Mom took me to pee in a cup. Thursday, before Grandma was let out, I went to the company doctor to be told how much could work. Um, I had pretty much done everything I usually do right after getting the stitches and during the day on Thursday, so I've been officially told I can work full-duty. Go figure. The funny thing is that one of the stitches is cutting its way to the actual cut every time I fully extend the finger, so now I just have to make sure I keep it slightly bent.
We found out on Tuesday that a cousin died while on a cruise in the Carribean. The body was still held up and no-one was sure when the funeral was. The worst part is that his aunt has pretty much cut off ties to the family and no-one in New York knew how to get hold of her. We knew where her daughter worked, so Mom was going to go there and leave a message for her. Well, TAFH, who was really close to the deceased cousin, decided to take care of it herself and not let Mom know about it. She called my cousin, who had the daughter's phone number and apparently called her, never telling Mom, who then proceeded to waste part of her morning off going to the place the daughter worked and trying to get hold of her, finally leaving a message for her. Mom + TAFH's arrogance and ignorance = a not-very-happy Mommy.
When TAFH left the funeral last night she called us (Mom did not call her on the carpet) and told us that my deceased cousin actually saved a woman while he himself was drowning. Those of you who have been reading this blog know I try not to call attention to my identity because I'm not always the nicest person to my relatives, but I feel that my cousin, Eric Reistetter, deserves recognition for his selfless act of heroism. He could have been rescued before another person caught in the undertow but he had the rescuers go to her, a panicking woman, before himself. He left behind a wife, two young sons, a father, mother, various siblings and a lot of aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who cared about him. He was a popular man in his community who participated in children's sports and helped people when he could as much as he could. He was a genuinely good man and his loss will be felt deeply.
Drowning victim remembered as hero, friend
BY JULIET CHUNGNewsday Staff WriterMarch 3, 2007, 8:53 PM EST
In his eulogy of Eric Reistetter Saturday, a childhood friend recalled how the pair would often play street hockey while growing up.
Once, when he blew out his knee during a game, Reistetter carried him five blocks to his home, said Greg Martino.
"This was the kind of friend Eric was to me," Martino said before more than 100 mourners gathered at Pinelawn Memorial Center for a burial service.
When he was recuperating from knee surgery years later, Reistetter prescribed him an old-fashioned pain remedy, Martino, of Hauppauge, recalled. He then produced a 23-year-old bottle of Southern Comfort.
"One shot to be taken every four to six minutes until you experience no pain," he read off the homemade label as the crowd chuckled.
"Although my heart is broken for the loss of my friend," Martino said, "the memories I have of Eric will last forever."
The funeral, held under sunshine and clear blue skies, capped days of grieving for Reistetter, 43, a Hauppauge father and baseball coach who drowned off the coast of Anguilla on Feb. 22 after directing rescuers to attend first to another swimmer in distress.
He and his family were on a cruise; Reistetter was swimming when he got caught in an undertow, witnesses said.
Robin Reistetter described her husband's last actions as typical. "I really wanted to be mad at him for what he did, but I can't, because that's who he is."
A shipping manager, Reistetter's real passion lay with his family -- Robin, 41, and sons, Matthew, 14, and Michael, 11 -- and with the boys he coached or refereed as an umpire, family members and friends said.
They were among the nearly 300 mourners who attended the morning funeral Mass at St. Thomas More Roman Catholic Church in Hauppauge. A smaller procession continued to the cemetery, making detours to drive past Reistetter's childhood and family homes and past the ballfield where he coached.
At Pinelawn, mourners showered roses onto Reistetter's coffin, which held a baseball signed by the Long Island Baymen, a baseball team he coached that included his son Michael.
Relatives described Reistetter as the glue that held the family together. Reistetter's fellow coaches and young charges praised him for teaching with a smile.
Brandon DeRamo, 11, said Reistetter made his players laugh, even when they played poorly. He added Reistetter had improved his game."I would never line up my knuckles when I hit and he got me to do that," he said.
Teammate Nick Martin, 11, called Reistetter unforgettable.
"I thought he was a hero."
Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.
Here goes, on Wednesday, yours truly decided to cut herself with a box cutter at work and is now typing (and attempting to cross-stitch at times) with two stitches in her left index finger. I had to go to Moses Taylor, where the nurse who stitched me up was so understanding and good about my needle phobia I left her a Reese's cup as a reward for dealing with me. Although, I kind of wish she had just knocked me put with a hammer when she gave me the drug to numb my finger for the stitches. Why is a cure always worse then the injury?
I found out after I got back to work, even though Moses Taylor had called Medcor about it from the hospotal, that I needed a drug test. So after work Mom took me to pee in a cup. Thursday, before Grandma was let out, I went to the company doctor to be told how much could work. Um, I had pretty much done everything I usually do right after getting the stitches and during the day on Thursday, so I've been officially told I can work full-duty. Go figure. The funny thing is that one of the stitches is cutting its way to the actual cut every time I fully extend the finger, so now I just have to make sure I keep it slightly bent.
We found out on Tuesday that a cousin died while on a cruise in the Carribean. The body was still held up and no-one was sure when the funeral was. The worst part is that his aunt has pretty much cut off ties to the family and no-one in New York knew how to get hold of her. We knew where her daughter worked, so Mom was going to go there and leave a message for her. Well, TAFH, who was really close to the deceased cousin, decided to take care of it herself and not let Mom know about it. She called my cousin, who had the daughter's phone number and apparently called her, never telling Mom, who then proceeded to waste part of her morning off going to the place the daughter worked and trying to get hold of her, finally leaving a message for her. Mom + TAFH's arrogance and ignorance = a not-very-happy Mommy.
When TAFH left the funeral last night she called us (Mom did not call her on the carpet) and told us that my deceased cousin actually saved a woman while he himself was drowning. Those of you who have been reading this blog know I try not to call attention to my identity because I'm not always the nicest person to my relatives, but I feel that my cousin, Eric Reistetter, deserves recognition for his selfless act of heroism. He could have been rescued before another person caught in the undertow but he had the rescuers go to her, a panicking woman, before himself. He left behind a wife, two young sons, a father, mother, various siblings and a lot of aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who cared about him. He was a popular man in his community who participated in children's sports and helped people when he could as much as he could. He was a genuinely good man and his loss will be felt deeply.
Drowning victim remembered as hero, friend
BY JULIET CHUNGNewsday Staff WriterMarch 3, 2007, 8:53 PM EST
In his eulogy of Eric Reistetter Saturday, a childhood friend recalled how the pair would often play street hockey while growing up.
Once, when he blew out his knee during a game, Reistetter carried him five blocks to his home, said Greg Martino.
"This was the kind of friend Eric was to me," Martino said before more than 100 mourners gathered at Pinelawn Memorial Center for a burial service.
When he was recuperating from knee surgery years later, Reistetter prescribed him an old-fashioned pain remedy, Martino, of Hauppauge, recalled. He then produced a 23-year-old bottle of Southern Comfort.
"One shot to be taken every four to six minutes until you experience no pain," he read off the homemade label as the crowd chuckled.
"Although my heart is broken for the loss of my friend," Martino said, "the memories I have of Eric will last forever."
The funeral, held under sunshine and clear blue skies, capped days of grieving for Reistetter, 43, a Hauppauge father and baseball coach who drowned off the coast of Anguilla on Feb. 22 after directing rescuers to attend first to another swimmer in distress.
He and his family were on a cruise; Reistetter was swimming when he got caught in an undertow, witnesses said.
Robin Reistetter described her husband's last actions as typical. "I really wanted to be mad at him for what he did, but I can't, because that's who he is."
A shipping manager, Reistetter's real passion lay with his family -- Robin, 41, and sons, Matthew, 14, and Michael, 11 -- and with the boys he coached or refereed as an umpire, family members and friends said.
They were among the nearly 300 mourners who attended the morning funeral Mass at St. Thomas More Roman Catholic Church in Hauppauge. A smaller procession continued to the cemetery, making detours to drive past Reistetter's childhood and family homes and past the ballfield where he coached.
At Pinelawn, mourners showered roses onto Reistetter's coffin, which held a baseball signed by the Long Island Baymen, a baseball team he coached that included his son Michael.
Relatives described Reistetter as the glue that held the family together. Reistetter's fellow coaches and young charges praised him for teaching with a smile.
Brandon DeRamo, 11, said Reistetter made his players laugh, even when they played poorly. He added Reistetter had improved his game."I would never line up my knuckles when I hit and he got me to do that," he said.
Teammate Nick Martin, 11, called Reistetter unforgettable.
"I thought he was a hero."
Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.
Monday, January 08, 2007
A few things and a very interesting link...
This last weekend was interesting. Grandma was nice, nothing really bad happened. The insurance was taken care of - nothing we did was wrong and the lady had no clue what the heck was going on that we were getting weird calls. In fact, Grandma laid into the insurance people. The Allstate insurance agency on Ravine St. in Dickson City is not handicapped accessible. They don't even have a handicapped parking spot. Grandma nearly tripped getting up the odd steps to their door. She told them to look to their own house before criticizing others'. You go, Grandma! The whole mess started when we were told we had to add a railing to the flight of steps that leads to the sidewalk. That's why we were thrilled when she did that.
While Mom and Grandma were taking care of the insurance, I went into JoAnn's Fabric and got a pattern for either a wedge pillow or an elephant pillow to make for Mom for Christmas with my new little sewing machine. ;) I also grabbed some 32 count linen. The lady sort of laughed when I told her I don't have any. She asked me "You actually know, huh?" I, of course, said yes. As if any cross-stitcher worth her salt doesn't at least have a good idea of what she does and does not have in her stash.
My brother called. He's probably going to be coming home to the DC airport the same weekend I'll be in DC. Wouldn't it be a kick if my friends and I could meet his plane? Along with his new girlfriend...
Sunday morning was interesting. As I was laying in bed I noticed small splashes of color all over the walls and ceiling of my room. The sun was already up and reflecting them off something in my room, but it took me a bit to figure it out. A friend gave me a glass-mosaic candle for Christmas. It's all pastels and those were the colors on the walls and ceiling. I just laid there watching them move as the sun moved in the window. One of the spots ended up on my light fixture and as it moved across the edge, it looked almost like an eclipse, with half of the color on the light and half a short ways away on the ceiling. As I was studying the candle to match up what particular piece was reflecting where, I noticed a swarm of colors on the belly of Seshet. She's in a doll-stand right next to the candle and was getting the full spectrum. It was amazing. I'll have to take a picture of it the next sunny morning and post it.
I made Mom a biscornu last night. It's only one and a half inches. I'm almost there. I'll get to the point where I can make them about an inch yet.
While Mom and Grandma were taking care of the insurance, I went into JoAnn's Fabric and got a pattern for either a wedge pillow or an elephant pillow to make for Mom for Christmas with my new little sewing machine. ;) I also grabbed some 32 count linen. The lady sort of laughed when I told her I don't have any. She asked me "You actually know, huh?" I, of course, said yes. As if any cross-stitcher worth her salt doesn't at least have a good idea of what she does and does not have in her stash.
My brother called. He's probably going to be coming home to the DC airport the same weekend I'll be in DC. Wouldn't it be a kick if my friends and I could meet his plane? Along with his new girlfriend...
Sunday morning was interesting. As I was laying in bed I noticed small splashes of color all over the walls and ceiling of my room. The sun was already up and reflecting them off something in my room, but it took me a bit to figure it out. A friend gave me a glass-mosaic candle for Christmas. It's all pastels and those were the colors on the walls and ceiling. I just laid there watching them move as the sun moved in the window. One of the spots ended up on my light fixture and as it moved across the edge, it looked almost like an eclipse, with half of the color on the light and half a short ways away on the ceiling. As I was studying the candle to match up what particular piece was reflecting where, I noticed a swarm of colors on the belly of Seshet. She's in a doll-stand right next to the candle and was getting the full spectrum. It was amazing. I'll have to take a picture of it the next sunny morning and post it.
I made Mom a biscornu last night. It's only one and a half inches. I'm almost there. I'll get to the point where I can make them about an inch yet.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Life...
Good and bad for the New Year...
Bea has told us that she can only work Mondays now. She watches her grandkids for her daughter (for free) and said daughter is looking for a day job and likely to get it soon. If we can't get anyone else that'll mean Mom can only work every weekend and all nights during the week. We can't afford for me to just quit altogether and I've been late and had to call off enough times lately that my next review is going to suck majorly. I might ask if I can cut my hours down to 32 each week. We can't afford it, but until we find a replacement for Bea that might be the only way to fairly work this.
I wonder if I should even visit Sunni and Sheri at the end of the month. Do we really have the money for me to spend on the bus fare and doing things down there? Gods, I hope so. I need the time away. So does Mom, but I can't do anything about that.
There is, as usual, much more going on, from insurance fiascos to Grandma's sugar being totally out of whack for the first time in months. She has agreed to give us a list of foods she'll eat and she was going over them with my cousin and me (mostly my cousin). They're all foods we already know she'll eat for us. If the other relatives think we're not doing our duty by her, they're nucking futs. She has also promised Dr. G that she'll eat three times a day for us. If she can't get the sugar under control in a month, then he adds more pills. She hates pills.
The insurance thing is about our house insurance. We took it over along with the rest of the bills and have been paying it each month thanks to our bank's computer payment system. Well, they now say they issued us a refund when the front step railing thing was handled. Not one of us has received or cashed a check, but they say we owe them almost $400. Worse yet, they don't return Mom's phone calls or leave messages on our machine, but call my aunt and uncle (whose names aren't even on the policy) and discuss the situation with them and ask them to get in touch with us. Isn't there something wrong with this picture?
As for the good, I actually went out for New Year's Eve! *chuckle* Only my friends and their friends would find watching The Muppet Show on New Year's Eve amusing, but it really was. I also fractured my brain watching Jackass 2. I fear I will never get the image of a fully nude midget racing across a table directly toward the camera out of my mind. If only he had been handsome, it wouldn't hurt so much. Kim's friend (the host) likes the Creature from the Black Lagoon as much as I do! Yes!
I crashed at Kim's and ended up staying there all day New Year's Day. The ladies had a small dinner party for Thanksgiving, Christmas and such. It was fun. Mom gave me one instruction: to bring home the cutting board of the cheese thing I brought to the party. I did. So I forgot the bowl I brought the dip in at Kim's house. Next time I see her I'll have to bring it home.
My brother called a few days ago and Mom told him I'd gone out and hadn't gotten home until late the next day. He was shocked, to say the least. Tee-hee. It's nice to know I can surprise him every once in a while. He seemed shocked when Mom reminded him I can't drink. He's known about the fact that I can't drink all of our lives. What a maroon.
He comes home this month. I hope by saying it and typing it I don't jinx him or his fellows. He's an annoying PITA most of the time, but I love him dearly and don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him.
Anyone reading this, please wish him and the others stationed overseas good luck. They need it.
Bea has told us that she can only work Mondays now. She watches her grandkids for her daughter (for free) and said daughter is looking for a day job and likely to get it soon. If we can't get anyone else that'll mean Mom can only work every weekend and all nights during the week. We can't afford for me to just quit altogether and I've been late and had to call off enough times lately that my next review is going to suck majorly. I might ask if I can cut my hours down to 32 each week. We can't afford it, but until we find a replacement for Bea that might be the only way to fairly work this.
I wonder if I should even visit Sunni and Sheri at the end of the month. Do we really have the money for me to spend on the bus fare and doing things down there? Gods, I hope so. I need the time away. So does Mom, but I can't do anything about that.
There is, as usual, much more going on, from insurance fiascos to Grandma's sugar being totally out of whack for the first time in months. She has agreed to give us a list of foods she'll eat and she was going over them with my cousin and me (mostly my cousin). They're all foods we already know she'll eat for us. If the other relatives think we're not doing our duty by her, they're nucking futs. She has also promised Dr. G that she'll eat three times a day for us. If she can't get the sugar under control in a month, then he adds more pills. She hates pills.
The insurance thing is about our house insurance. We took it over along with the rest of the bills and have been paying it each month thanks to our bank's computer payment system. Well, they now say they issued us a refund when the front step railing thing was handled. Not one of us has received or cashed a check, but they say we owe them almost $400. Worse yet, they don't return Mom's phone calls or leave messages on our machine, but call my aunt and uncle (whose names aren't even on the policy) and discuss the situation with them and ask them to get in touch with us. Isn't there something wrong with this picture?
As for the good, I actually went out for New Year's Eve! *chuckle* Only my friends and their friends would find watching The Muppet Show on New Year's Eve amusing, but it really was. I also fractured my brain watching Jackass 2. I fear I will never get the image of a fully nude midget racing across a table directly toward the camera out of my mind. If only he had been handsome, it wouldn't hurt so much. Kim's friend (the host) likes the Creature from the Black Lagoon as much as I do! Yes!
I crashed at Kim's and ended up staying there all day New Year's Day. The ladies had a small dinner party for Thanksgiving, Christmas and such. It was fun. Mom gave me one instruction: to bring home the cutting board of the cheese thing I brought to the party. I did. So I forgot the bowl I brought the dip in at Kim's house. Next time I see her I'll have to bring it home.
My brother called a few days ago and Mom told him I'd gone out and hadn't gotten home until late the next day. He was shocked, to say the least. Tee-hee. It's nice to know I can surprise him every once in a while. He seemed shocked when Mom reminded him I can't drink. He's known about the fact that I can't drink all of our lives. What a maroon.
He comes home this month. I hope by saying it and typing it I don't jinx him or his fellows. He's an annoying PITA most of the time, but I love him dearly and don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him.
Anyone reading this, please wish him and the others stationed overseas good luck. They need it.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
They're here.
My sister-in-law has arrived. Well, she got here early Monday morning, but it took until Thursday for Mom and I to have the kids - due to our work schedules. They have grown so much in the last few months. My s-i-l has already had to buy my nephew new pants for school. Apparently, the first batch ended up looking like high-waters on him. My niece is still skinny as a rail, but a few inches taller, too. What do they eat out in New Mexico? Plant food?
We get them tonight and tomorrow, too. Tomorrow we're taking them to a late showing of Happy Feet after we go to Schuylkill Haven to visit Grandpa. I'll be dead at work Monday, but who cares? I miss the little buggers.
Oh, I finally met my s-i-l's new husband. He seems nice, if a bit quiet. Maybe he was just nervous meeting me.
I'm currently searching out chameleon cross-stitch patterns for my nephew. That's what he wants me to stitch for him, so that's what he'll get. My niece's Mermaid will be finished in time. I'm ahead of schedule on John's Starbuck's logo. The ornaments just have to be given out and I'll start the bookmarks for my exchange after the Mermaid is done and the Calla Lily will be finished after I do two or three of the bookmarks. Then I get to start back on Kwan Yin, start the chameleon and the Temple design for the Art Show and I'll do some little projects in between them. Once I finish the chameleon and the Temple I'll keep working on Kwan Yin, finish a Santa and some ornaments I started a couple of years ago and finally finish one of my Charles Wysocki's. I'm hoping to clean out a bunch of the small projects in my WIP bag this next year, so I can make fresh starts on the projects running about in my brain.
We get them tonight and tomorrow, too. Tomorrow we're taking them to a late showing of Happy Feet after we go to Schuylkill Haven to visit Grandpa. I'll be dead at work Monday, but who cares? I miss the little buggers.
Oh, I finally met my s-i-l's new husband. He seems nice, if a bit quiet. Maybe he was just nervous meeting me.
I'm currently searching out chameleon cross-stitch patterns for my nephew. That's what he wants me to stitch for him, so that's what he'll get. My niece's Mermaid will be finished in time. I'm ahead of schedule on John's Starbuck's logo. The ornaments just have to be given out and I'll start the bookmarks for my exchange after the Mermaid is done and the Calla Lily will be finished after I do two or three of the bookmarks. Then I get to start back on Kwan Yin, start the chameleon and the Temple design for the Art Show and I'll do some little projects in between them. Once I finish the chameleon and the Temple I'll keep working on Kwan Yin, finish a Santa and some ornaments I started a couple of years ago and finally finish one of my Charles Wysocki's. I'm hoping to clean out a bunch of the small projects in my WIP bag this next year, so I can make fresh starts on the projects running about in my brain.
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