Shoot me now, please.

Okay, I'm ready to scream. About a week ago Grandma fell and hurt her back. This was right before my aunt's wedding. She's in pain, a lot of it. So, of course, she deals with this by walking from her bedroom to the living room to the bathroom to the living room to the bed again. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! She won't believe us that she'll recover better by staying still!

If I end up in jail tonight charged with murder, leave me there. I need the vacation.

Oh, and my aunt (not TAFH) has arranged with her best friend, Grandma's only reliable caregiver, to watch her new granddaughter instead of Grandma. Selfish fucking bitch. So, now we get to try Telespond and their idiotic boss and unrelaible caregivers again.

The wedding was really nice, though.

Grandma is going down to TAFH's today. Thank the gods. She's been okay lately, but the idiot aunt of mine made sure she told Grandma before she left two weeks ago that she was coming down. So, Grandma's been asking every day, multiple times when we were leaving. ARGHH!! We had all agreed that Grandma wouldn't be told if she was going down, that it would be a surprise. So, of course my aunt the PhD can't remember this. *sigh*

I was going to go down with them, but when I got to work today and tried to clock in I realized I was four hours early. I'm going to get home after Mom and Grandma leave. Yeah, Mom's thrilled. I just hope it stops raining before I have to leave, because I'm going to be walking home.

I'm off tomorrow and closing Saturday. So, I'll be able to enjoy some of the block party and do mondo research at the library.

Now, if the caregiver could just get here, I may not be late after being four hours early. She's already half an hour late and was woken up by Mom's call fifteen minutes ago. She was supposed to be here at 6:30. I just hope she doesn't do the whole shower and major grooming thing. Just throw some clothes on and get here. I only have 25 minutes to catch the bus.

Time is Unimportant

I've come to the conclusion that we should no longer tell Grandma if she's going somewhere until it's literally time to leave. This includes weekend trips to stay with TAFH. She's driving me nuts.

Almost every hour she's asking if it's time to go yet. She keeps putting on her shoes (or only one of them) and takes off her Lifeline pendant. Her pills and apron have been packed a number of times. *sigh* No matter how often we tell her she's not leaving until Thursday, it's just not sinking in that today is NOT the day she leaves. I suggested to Mom once that we mark big X's off the calendar, but she told me she doubted Grandma would even look at it. She's right.

Beyond that, she seems to be really spiteful lately. She's also upset with Mom for working nights so often lately. Mom can't help it. She lost a manager and has to take up the slack. Oy. I need a few days off. We're even having caregiver trouble right now an d have none for the week at all. In all likelihood, I'm going to be calling off work Thursday and making up as much of it as possible by working as late as I can stand it on Friday. It never rains, but it pours.

I hate dementia. I want my Grandma back.

I'm tired and I'm sore. I wonder if this is even worth it.

B12 and Caregivers

This newest post was going to be all about how much I love B12. We've been giving Grandma a B12 shot each month for about a year and a half now and she's always a little better right afte the shot. Well, we recently began giving her B12 pills to supplement the shot. Oh, boy! Mrs. Hyde is making a lot fewer appearances lately and those times she does visit are a lot shorter. I might start taking the stuff myself.

Now, to those of you dealing with caregivers that come on while you work, what do you do when this happens? On Mondays, I go into work late, losing my $1.50 shift differential, since Mom has to be at work by 3am and my shift doesn't start until 4am. You know we'll never find someone to start at 4am so we schedule the caregiver to come by 6:30. I call for a cab to get here around the same time the caregiver should be here. Sometimes they (both cab and caregiver) can be a little late, so when the cab gets here, I go, depending on the caregiver to be there a few minutes after I leave. This did not happen today.

I called the house a few times and Mom once before my shift was supposed to start at 7am. J was still not there. So, I told my bosses that I was going to go home, stay with Grandma until J got there, then come back ASAP. I got home in 45 minutes. It's a ten-minute drive by highway, but a 45 minute to an hour walk home. I'm already beat. And J still is not here. I called her cell, but got no answer. I called Mom and she told me to giver her an hour to respond, then call Telespond.

I can't afford this shit. I need to make money ($10 of which I just wasted on a cab ride) and do my job. My income may not be as great as my mother's but a lot of the bills and resources are still paid by me, aside from my own bills like loan payments and medical. Now, my bosses were actually rather cool about it this time. They tend not to like it when I have to call off to take care of Grandma. Not that they're threatening to fire me, but you know that look your boss or another person in authority gives you when they're not happy with you? That's usually the look I get when problems with Grandma-sitting arise.

I called her as soon as I got in the house: 7:45. She still hasn't called back. Twenty-five more minutes and I have to deal with the wonderfully communicative people of Telespond (please note the heavy sarcasm).

I'm going to be working until midnight tonight to make up my time. :(