Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I'm actually calmer now...

Barb from AAA talked to Mom and has listed the accusations as "unfounded". Great, wonderful, but they're still there and that's going to fester a bit, I think. Supposedly, she's going to try to find out what aide has been bringing food. We think the cold and the ceiling tile thing came from Lynn, Grandma's caseworker. However, we're off the hook as far as any investigation or anything like that.

I talked to a counselor today. I'll talk to her again next week and I think I might try to keep it up. I don't know how much it'll cost, but I think I need it. She asked me what I really want right now if I could have it and the answers were simple: more time to myself that I don't feel like I'm "stealing" and time to go back to school face to face, not just by computer. I enjoy school. I love going to classes and being with other students. It's fun. Of course, the only way either of those two goals would be accomplished is if: A, Mom gives up any life she has or B, the relatives start taking some responsibility for their mother/grandmother. Now, since the first is totally unfair to Mom and the second is almost an impossibility, I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I get out of this whole situation still loving my grandmother and not hating her for what we've gone through for the past five years.

*snort* I told her about the last two times I tried counseling and the unmitigated disasters that ensued and she promised me she wouldn't recommend letter or journal writing, so what am I doing now? No, I need to reclaim my writing, no matter what else happens in my life. It's a piece of my soul that I've been missing for far too long.

On a good note, except for the idiocy with the accusations, today and yesterday have been Grandma Days. Mrs. Hyde is nowhere to be seen. She's been talking to us, making jokes, starting conversation. She just ate some soup without a fight because she was cold. Usually I get at least token resistance about soup, no matter how freezing she is. Yesterday when we talked to her about the accusations she scoffed at them. On Grandma Days she knows we are here to take care of her. She's pretty cool on those days. Two in a row! It's when Mrs. Hyde is visiting that I stay in my room. We just ate in the kitchen together, talking nicely. She had her soup and I had a ham sandwich. It was nice.

Oh, I also finished my needle roll for my cross-stitch exchange. I really like how it turned out. The designs are based on Aesop's Fables. When the recipient gets it, I'll post a picture. Hee-hee. I worked on some of it while I was talking to Penny (the counselor). I even told her. She didn't say anything about it, so I don't think she minded. I just hate sitting around doing nothing with my hands while I'm on the phone or watching television for a long period of time. That reminds me, Mom is supposed to try to teach me how to crochet again...

1 comment:

ntrlstgrl said...

Better is good...calmer is good...I hope you get more days in a row of Grandma days.