Apples and Oranges

Thank the Gods for TAFH (and my brother, too, I guess). Grandma will be going down to her house one weekend a month every month (hopefully). Someone will bring her down and my brother will bring her home after his monthly weekend for the Reserves. She went down this last weekend and Mom and I really got out.

After work on Friday I got to the library to do some genealogy research. Saturday I went downtown to look for benchmarks and take some pictures. Afterward, Mom and I went to both Miller's and Roba's corn mazes! We went to Miller's first but were less than impressed. the maze was too easy. However, they had apple trees to pick. That was fun. Then we went to Roba's (successful guilt trip on Mom for once!) and got lost in the maze for about an hour and a half. Loved it!

We had to replace the thermostat last night.

Today I left work early because we had no one to watch Grandma after 9am. I left at 10:30 and got a ride halfway so I only had about fifteen minutes to walk. I just couldn't afford to leave any earlier, by money and workload standards. I feel guilty about leaving her alone for two hours, but I need to make money so I can afford to buy her food and pay the heating bill and all that fun stuff.

I realized as I was walking that I actually feel guilty about eating at home. Unless I specifially buy something for my particular consumption, I don't like eating here. I feel like I'm eating something she might have wanted. Does this make sense? As it is, Mom and I have totally given up on eating Gluten-free. It's impossible to buy enough variety of foods that Grandma will actually be willing to eat and still buy the much more expensive foods that Mom and I can eat. If the choice is to make sure Grandma eats and buy something safe for us, we choose to feed Grandma. We basically have to buy two to three times what she actually eats for her because we have to go through such a list before we finally hit something she'll eat. The woman refuses to eat GF for us. She'll eat whatever TAFH serves, but she gives us problems every time.

For lunch today, I made her a microwaveable turkey and dressing meal. She refused to eat it. Instead, she was willing (after many suggestions) to eat half a cheese sandwich. I took one piece of bread, folded it and stuck cheese in between, then I got griped at that it wasn't half a sandwich. Probably because it wasn't cut diagonally. *sigh* Adventures in Grandma-sitting, indeed.

Week of Wows

Wow, has this been a weird week. We’ve done the high and low and in-between thing.

Last Tuesday: posted rant

Wednesday: Did you know there are some (supposedly) Eco-friendly Bratz dolls? *shudder* According to the packaging, it is recycleable. Of course, you have to tear it apart to recycle the pieces of it. And you get seeds and a Save the Planet badge.

Thursday: Total Grandma Day
It was a perfect day. Grandma was in a wonderful mood. Mom was in a wonderful mood. We bought some patterns and put the last quilt Grandma marked in the parlor to finish. Grandma helped. All three of us were happy and joking and no one was crabby. So cool.

Friday: Grandma breaks her streak
Grandma hasn’t had to really go to the hospital for almost two years now. Friday changed that. I was trying on a pair of shoes when I finally turned on my cell phone, topped it up and listened to my voicemail. Apparently Grandma lost her balance while finishing up using the toilet and fell. She wedged herself between the toilet and tub and managed to get a long cut on her right arm. We had three fire engines, two ambulances and two police cars at our house. The police had to smash the toilet to get her out, she was wedged that tightly. How she fit in there so well, we have absolutely no clue. Oh, supposedly one of the cops was cute, but she didn't get me his number, darnit! When I teased her about it, she said, he was too young. So I brought out the axiom, "Get 'em young, train 'em right." She just laughed.

Saturday and Sunday: typical boring weekend in which I sit home and do nothing of interest.

Monday: Sewing class
I went to my first sewing class. It was so exciting. I picked out the pattern I was thinking of using then went home. It took a total of half an hour. Then Mom convinced me to pick a different pattern. *sigh* I’m going to make a shirt instead of funky froggy sleep pants.
Before I went to the class, my cousins came over. J is pregnant. We saw the little fishy-looking blob on the ultrasound printout. I asked her what she wants the room to be decorated in and she’s talking about jungle animals. I’m not sure what her husband, B, wants. Now, we just have to finish renovating their house before the baby gets here.

Tuesday (today): Narc
I have a cold. I have asthma. The two are not a good combination. I had to take two puffs on my inhaler. Albuterol gives me all the terrible side effects, so I’m not really a happy camper after I use the inhaler. Well, right after I took it one of the gentleman (and I do use the term loosely) in the backroom decided to get pissy with me. He listens to sports radio constantly. That’s all he listens to. He has the radio in the backroom on constantly. Well, this time when I went in there, he wasn’t in it. The radio was still on, though. So I turned it off. He came in and got all hot and bothered about it. He literally told me I didn’t belong in there, even though the back room is not his exclusive property. He also told me I couldn’t touch the radio because it wasn’t mine. Technically, it’s not his either. It belongs to another backroom worker, which I reminded him. He told me not to talk about what I don’t know about. I brought up the fact that the other guy’s name is written on the radio with a nice little tag: Property of. I then proceeded to ignore him and finished my tasks. I then went to the HR person and told her about it.

Usually when he pulls his shit I can just ignore him. We all do. He’s a miserable little bastard who needs to get laid more than I do. He’s almost never cheerful and treats everyone as if they’re inconveniencing him if they so much as breathe in “his” stockroom. Everyone just says, “Oh, well, that’s just J. Ignore him.” Well, today I felt miserable enough that I wasn’t about to ignore the little shit. I’m really sick of him getting away with being mean to everybody, dammit. The funniest thing is that at times he can be really nice. Maybe he's bipolar. Whatever, he's getting in trouble today.

So, what else will happen this week?

Thursday: Grandma goes to TAFH for a few days.
Friday: Mom and I pick out fabric for my project and possibly go to Roba’s.
Saturday: Mom and I go to the RenFaire in Lancaster and pick up Grandma on the way home.

I just hope nothing else goes wrong. Knock on wood.

What a Woman Wants! (rant warning)

Someone kindly tell me what I did in a former life to deserve this one. I am getting more and more discontent with this whole babysitting grandma bullshit. Actually, I passed discontent a couple of years ago. It's so hard to maintain a positive outlook on life when the only thing you can be positive of is that you will wake up around 3am, go to work, possibly get a chance to chill at Borders for 45 minutes to an hour, come home and stay in your room waiting for grandma to actually need you. This is your life every Monday through Friday. Every weekend, you get to be the one making her breakfast and lunch and usually dinner, because your mother, her daughter, works most weekends so she can have a day off during the week in which she takes care of grandma. For this round the clock care, you get emotionally and verbally abused by a woman succumbing to dementia and diabetes. Your relatives treat you as if you should be thankful because, don't you know, you're getting a free place to live. Excuse me?! Grandma pays three bills, all directly related to her individual and specific care. She pays for her health insurance, the caregivers that come in when we have to work and her meds. Lately, Mom and I have paid for a lot of those meds and we're going to be taking over all of the taxes this next year.

I have no life. I have few friends. I have no boyfriend. I have no college degree, hence no future doing what I love to do. I feel like any time and money spent on myself is basically theft. I have arranged to take sewing classes. This will cost $75 and will run from 6:30 to 8:30 pm every Wednesday for the next 5 weeks. Mom has to make sure she can be home those nights. I get a small opportunity for self-improvement, but Mom hasn't had any time out for herself lately, so I feel like I'm being selfish in that I'm taking time that she could be using going out. Even though she doesn't.

I'm whining. Oh, woe is me, poor me, my life is so hard. I have a job. I have food (even if a lot of it is poison to me since grandma won't eat GF for us - only TAFH). I have a place to live. I have some spare money for hobbies. I may not have a lot of them, but the friends I do have are worth their weight in gold-pressed latinum. There are people out there who have none of the above and don't whine. So, that makes me selfish for whining in the first place, I guess. You know what? Feck it. I want to be selfish in this. I'm getting the raw end of the deal here. I spend more time with grandma than anyone else in the family and my only reward is abuse. I think I have a right to vent a little.

Here's a list of what I want:
1. Master's Degree in Library Science so I can make something of myself.
2. A boyfriend. Lots of wild monkey sex would be really nice. He should also have a brain that functions well above his shoulders, if I'm not asking too much.
3. Time to myself. Time to do what I want to do. Time in which I am not tied to a baby monitor waiting for my grandmother to call my name. Time in which I do not have to rush home every day and could go downtown and research if I so choose.
4. A relationship with my family that doesn't send them running the other way if I call them because I might be calling them to ask for help with their mother or grandmother.
5. The opportunity to travel and have adventures. There is so much of this world I have not seen, even with the whole army-brat thing. I want to see Africa and Asia. I want to walk the Giant's Causeway in Ireland and bask in the glory of Stonehenge on Solstice. Oh, and I want to fly to these places myself, in my own plane because before I die I will get my pilot's license. Hell, just the chance to hop a bus on Wednesday morning and take in a play in New York or visit my friends in DC would be exotic travel at this point, yearly vacations notwithstanding. Mom and I earn those vacations with every hole we bite in our tongues and every tear we shed silently when we should be trying to get sleep so we don't imitate the walking dead at work the next day.

In Memorium - Bette Hagman

I just found out that Bette Hagman died on August 17. She can pretty much be considered the pioneer of GF cookbooks. Her cookbooks are the staple that every Celiac has in the house, at least to start with.

Ms. Hagman, thank you so much for your contribution to the good health and happy tastebuds of Celiacs everywhere. To your family, I wish to offer my condolences.

Grammar Nazi time!

Okay, this one is good. It's true, too. While surfing a blog that had reviewed a book I really like, I found this grammar quiz.

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Shark vs. Man

Here's a good one and hooray for the lifeguard. He did the right thing!

It's Mine, Mine, All Mine!

I am typing this post on the keyboard of MY laptop. It's not my mother's. It's mine. Of course, it's being paid by her salary, but she's calling it my next few birthday and Christmas presents. That's just fine with me. I never actually get expensive presents, so I'm looking at it as one.

Once I buy a new genealogy program and install it, I'll be able to finally restart my research. Right now everything is sitting in binders stored in boxes.

I don't think I can truly express how happy I am to have this silly thing. I feel like there is finally something of value that is mine. How absolutely selfish I sound.

Primary Election

So, the Democratic National Committee is intending to take away the rights of Florida's Democratic voters to choose the candidate that will represent them in the coming national election. Someone please explain to me why we can't all have the national primary on the same day, just as we have the national general election. Frankly, I couldn't give a flying fish if New Hampshire and Iowa want to keep their "traditional role" in selecting nominees.

Okay, I did a bit of research (Wikipedia Rocks!) and the main argument seems to be that candidates without the funding of the richer candidates would be on the outs or that it would mean "less important" states would be ignored by the candidates. These are valid concerns and can instead be dealt with by another plan that seems to have promise: the Graduated Random Presidential Primary System.

Nerd, Geek or Dork?

Okay, Morchades had this quiz, so I just had to take it. I'm not sure if I like or dislike the results, so they're probably spot on.

Your Score: Outcast Genius

91 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 65% Dork

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.



You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.



Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).



Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.



Congratulations!



Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:



Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Professional Wrestling






Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Cruise Vacation 2

Okay, Cape Canaveral is going to happen after we get back from the cruise. The rocket launch has been pushed back, so we're hoping it'll be at the gantry and can at least get a glimpse of it. We drove around Polk County instead, trying to find an interesting site that was actually open. It appears that tourist attractions not geared solely toward making money close down on Sundays here. Mom and I tried two different museums and both were closed. You gotta love the Bible Belt.

We drove on Spook Hill, which was cool. I zonked out in the car as we were passing huge mounds of sand from phosphate mining. They looked like white culm banks. I was hoping to get a glimpse of Disney World as we passed by, but the closest I got was a powerline pole shaped like Mickey's head. Yes, we got a picture, which I will upload soon.

We went to Whole Foods and bought some Tinkyada pasta, Prairie Bread and Sandwich bread to take on the ship. The leftover fruit and veggies we bought at a really cool fruit stand Saturday, we just gave to the hotel staff, since we can't take it on board.

Oh, and you should see the Target here. It's on a second level, about the same size and set-up as the Quakertown store. There was a Wild Oats on the first floor below it. We didn't have time to go there, since we had to turn the car in. :( I miss having Whole Foods and Wild Oats in Scranton.

Anyway, have to go. We have to check out and catch a trolley to the pier so we can board our ship.

Cruise Vacation

We're off! We're in Florida. Mom has already gotten a call from work about a problem. The phone turns off tomorrow and we board the ship Monday. Tomorrow we go to Cape Canaveral.

Potter personality

Gee. Am I actually surprised at this?


Find out your Harry Potter personality at LiquidGeneration!

Ganked from the blog of one of my favorite authors: Tamora Pierce

Banned Book Project

Alright, being my normal geeky self, I bought a book about banned books. Yes, my brother had to make a comment about it. LOL I didn't even mind. I know that most people would think it strange to take on this challenge. Stranger still, to buy a book on banned books. He just kind of shook his head after his comments and went back to his normal attitude of just giving up on my geekiness.

Anyway, I'm listing the books referenced in the book I bought, 120 Banned Books, by Karolides, Bald and Sova. They give the reasons behind the censorship of the books they mention as well as a synopsis. I've already found one on Project Gutenberg.

So, my first book is Areopagitica, by John Milton. It is actually an essay for freedom of expression, written in 1644. He was trying to point out the wrongness of having to license any published work. Fitting, I think, that I start with this work for my Banned Book Project. Once I complete my list, I'll pick the next book.

Reading Project

I have been looking at the list of the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die and the various lists of banned books. I want to tackle one of them, at least, but so many of the books on the 1001 Books list look totally unappealing, to be generous. I think I'll go for the Banned Books instead. Some of them are actually cross-listed. So, I have two ways I can go about this long project. I can make a list of all of the banned books I can find and read them alphabetically by author or title or I can read them by year of publication.

My inclination is towards publication year. This is for a couple of reasons. One, I can read all the ancient works that I've collected and are sitting on my TBR shelf (really a series of boxes) Those books I don't already own I might be able to download from Project Gutenberg or one of the other public domain internet libraries. This way I don't have to spend any extra money that I can save for the cruise at the end of the month. After the cruise I can go out and buy some of the others. The other reason is that this would be a nice, neatly ordered way to approach such a task. You know, logical.

I'm already doing the 50 Book Challenge, but that's too easily settled by my constant reading and re-reading of my current holdings and my weekly trips to Borders. I actually passed 50 books before I even started the challenge in May. I'm almost at 50 again. I think I hit 46 the other day when I read In Darkness Reborn by Alexis Morgan the other day at Borders. Reading all of the books on the banned list (or just most of them since I absolutely hate a few of them from my high school reading) seems like a fun, and even worthy, goal.

So, I'm off to peruse the various lists I have found and try to build it from the literal ground up - earliest books first. I know Lysistrata is on one of them and I can actually put my hands on it somewhat easily. I believe I shall start as soon as I can find the box I put it in.

Oh, by the way, the ALA's Banned Books Week is being celebrated September 29 to October 6, 2007. I figure a loose goal of one banned book a week is doable along with my stitching obligations and various light reading. If I start counting next week, I should be able to read twelve of them by that week. I'll make my list and post it soon.

Transformers review

I rarely review movies. I tend not to believe them when I read them myself. Critics almost always pan movies I really love and love movies I might be able to force myself to watch once at the most. However last night I went to Transformers and I must say it was excellent. The audience (myself included) broke out in applause a bunch of times during the movie and after.

There was enough geekiness and in-joking to please the most devoted fan of the old cartoon and enough sheer kick-assness to please anyone just going to see a good sci-fi flick. My only beef is that they didn't work in the cartoon's theme anywhere in the score that I could tell. Jeez, they even got a reference to My Little Pony and Furby. My absolute favorite Autobot, Bumblebee, was the major Autobot character. Yes!

I could write tons of stuff about the plot line and spoilers but I won't. Just go buy a ticket for the movie, a big bag of extra-buttery popcorn and enjoy the show. I don't recommend anything to drink because you really don't want to miss anything on an emergency run to the bathroom. Oh, you do want to sit through at least part of the credits.

Body and self-worth

I have never hidden the fact that I am fat. I never will (as if you can). A few posts on the assorted blogs and some new blogs that I read have tackled this issue lately. The topic started on some comics blogs: Tamora Pierce post #1 (in which Sinspired, Morchades and a host of other favorite feminist and comic bloggers make guest appearances) , Carla Lee post #1, Tamora Pierce post #2, Carla Lee post #2, which introduced me to this ad campaign: Fit Light Yogurt. Compare and contrast this insulting tagline: “Forget about it. Men’s preferences will never change. Fit Light Yogurt” with Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't want to be skinny. I don't want to be fat. I want to be healthy. I want to be in that middle of the road point where I can look at myself and say, "You're healthy, happy and a good person. That makes you truly beautiful." I honestly feel just as sorry for too-skinny women as I do for women like myself that are too large. Both of us have problems that we need to overcome before we get healthy.

Sure, I'd probably enjoy it if I were one of those women whose optimal shape/size was a slender size two - for a little while. However the trade-off for that is the fact that they tend not to be as strong or tough as me. (Disclaimer: Tend not to be! That certainly doesn't hold true for all!) I'll take my increased muscle and bone mass over dainty looks any day. It's more useful. Hell, I've been a size ten and looked like a walking skeleton. No thanks.

I certainly don't think a person should be happy with their weight if they are truly overweight or obese, but I do feel a person should be able to be comfortable in their skin. People (male and female) shouldn't have to worry about that extra five pounds being so important that they have to starve themselves to lose it because the opposite sex won't like them anymore if they're *gasp* fat. A child should never have to be afraid to go to school because they'll be picked on if they don't fit into the Barbie/Bratz/Superman/Mr. Universe mold. Any debate or right to debate should never be contingent on one of the parties' physical appearance. Read Tammy and Carla's blogs if you haven't to get this reference.

Sorry if this is disjointed (it is). I'm tired and want nothing more than to seek my bed.

guilt

I almost deleted my last post. I've felt terrible for pumping out so much vitriol, but I needed to and still feel some of it, so I won't. It's just taken me a few weeks to get up the nerve to post anything else. Maybe it just took something really getting me pissed. Other than my brother essentially taking over my house and controlling the way I live and function in it for the last two weeks and the next two months.

Anger Management?

I'm angry. I find myself to be so angry I could spit nails. It's not even because of any one thing. It feels like everything is just pressing down on me and I have no way of relieving that pressure.

Mom has today off, so she and my brother are going golfing. I'm angry that she gets to enjoy her day off when I usually spend mine watching her mother while she's working. Then I'm angry at myself for even thinking that way, because she usually spends her days of watching Grandma while I'm working. My anger isn't fair. I guess anger isn't supposed to be.

I'm angry because my brother decided it's okay to lecture me about the house not being clean enough for his standards. He also wants to put my boxes of books up in the attic and down in the basement while the kids are here so there's more room. Lovely idea (phbt!) except for the fact that I would never get the damned things back down or up. If we put them in the basement, Grandma will have a fit if I dare bring a box back up. If we put them in the attic, she'll have a fit that they're even there. Also, it's much harder to get into my attic than the basement. I want them in my room, where I can get to them, t I just know Mom will side with him and we'll end up doing what he wants.

I'm angry because as my brother was talking to my step-sister on the phone he told her hello from me and she didn't even respond in kind. Not that I really expected manners from her, but they would have been nice. I'm continually angry that my cousins love to get together, but never invite me.

I'm angry because I really hate my period. I'm angry because yesterday there was a nice breeze outside, so I turned off the air conditioner and opened the doors and Grandma kept closing them and I kept opening them. I'm angry that I'm not losing any weight - losing inches, but staying the same weight. I'm angry that I keep pushing my goals in life back while I take care of someone else who is, frankly, too old to do anything else truly constructive in this lifetime. I'm angry that I'm 31 and have never been properly kissed and haven't even had a hug from a non-related guy in much longer than I can even remember.

It's all such petty stuff that's getting to me. Yet, at the same time, it feels so important. This anger feels important even as I know that it doesn't do me any good. A person can live without books (but who's want to?!), without dates *whimper* or nights at the bar with cousins. I could definitely live without my period. A person can ignore that annoying, arrogant, self-righteous pain-in-the-ass they call a brother - except he just follows you around and keeps talking and always acts like you're the irrational one.

*Sigh* I'm going to go stitch. I want to finish my Green Man by tomorrow.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I'm tired. Mom's finally home. I'm going to bed.

Extremely late obit - Peter Stone

I'm watching the Tony Awards right now. I want to smack myself right now. I never knew that four years ago the writer of my favorite play had died. Peter Stone died April 26, 2003. He wrote the book for 1776 and the screenplay for the movie version. He managed to bring the Founding Fathers to life in a way most people can only dream of. I fell in love with this play when I was very young. It shows some of the flaws in those great men, as much as it shows their courage and resolve.

As an aside, John Cullum was nominated for a Tony this year, but didn't win. He played Edward Rutledge, the delegate from South Carolina in 1776. His musical number, Molasses to Rum, is an amazing piece of work, criticizing the hypocrisy of the Northerners over their stand on slavery. Sherman Edwards wrote the music and lyrics (d.1981). Cullum's nomination this year was for his work in 110 in the Shade.

Man, I've really been out of it this year. Roscoe Lee Browne died in April.

And I just saw the trailer for Hairspray. OMG! John Travolta and Christopher Walken. I'm adding a movie to my Summer list. I knew JohnTravolta was playing Edna, but I didn't know about Christoper Walken. And I can definitely see Amanda Bynes playing Penny. *sigh* I think this might actually end up being a "dream cast".

And she's off!

I think it's a record. Aunt L was in and out today in ten minutes. Bills written out, fruit in the fridge and poof!

Anyway, Aunt P is coming over later to take Grandma with her for a drive so I can go to Borders for a book signing. I'll have a few hours to myself and some fellow book-lovers.

I got a new DVD player to replace the one my brother bought me. It wouldn't read any of the DVDs I tried in it, so I switched it out with a Magnavox, instead of another Durabrand (Wal*Mart's store brand). I also went to Borders and exchanged the Superman DVDs for another set. When they manufactured the cases, they left some small bumps inside that scratched up the original set before I'd even opened it. The manager let me open up the new one and we had to switch out two DVDs with some from the original set because they were scratched, too.

So, I have to get Grandma ready by 1pm, feed her lunch and figure out if I can afford two books at Borders instead of one. Oh, I guess I should eat something myself befre I leave.

31st Birthday - two days late, of course

Well, on Monday I turned 31 years old. Usually my birthdays pass with very little fanfare. I get a gift from Mom, a card from Dad and occasionally a friend wishes me happy birthday. I really don't mind that. This year was different. I got a cake with ice cream and the works. Mom made me a GF chocolate cake with butter cream icing and vanilla ice cream. Then my brother actually got me a present. My brother got me a DVD player. He also bought me a DVD to go with it, from Playtime Boutique. He had me open it in the kitchen. It was hilarious. As I was opening it, we both kept looking at Granda to make sure Grandma didn't look our way and saw what he got me! Mom's present is apparently still being made. I figure she has someone making me a frog. Tee-hee :)

I like my brother's girlfriend. She seems nice and her kid is a real cutey, if much less adventurous than my niece and nephew. He's a heavy sucker. Mom and I ended up babysitting him while my brother and his girlfriend went to a movie. I don't know if she and I would be as close as my sil were, but as long as she makes my brother happy, then I will be happy to love her or at least like her. Besides, it's an easy way to get a new nephew.

So the materialistic part of my birthday aside, I guess it's time to look at last year's goals and see what I have accomplished.

Last Year's List:
1. Lose 100 pounds (at least) and get back down to a size 12. (And stay there for the rest of my life!)
2. Go back to college and get my degrees in History and Library Science. Once I get them and get a decent career I can go back for another degree like Anthropology.
3. This isn't really one I want to do, it's more like I have to: Learn how to drive a car so I can get my motorcycle license and a scooter. A motorcycle would be preferable, but a scooter would be sufficient for my purposes.
4. Learn how to speak ASL, German and Latin.
5. Have something published, even if it's just my stitching patterns.
6. Visit Ireland, England, Germany and Egypt (Along with every other country in the world and Antarctica! I'll just list those four as the major goals right now.)
7. Learn how to fly a small plane.
8. Learn sky- and scuba diving.
9. Get a cat and some frogs.
10. I guess I should add the old standard of a long-term boyfriend/husband and adopting kids even though I'm not sure they really are one of my life-long goals.

Well, as of this writing, they all stand - even though I have made progress on the top two. I haven't lost 100 pounds, I've only lost 20. However, I have dropped to almost a size 16. Another few weeks of careful eating should see me there. If I really start exercising, it'll go even faster... My loan rehabilitation program is almost complete, so I should be able to to get another loan from PHEAA for college in the Spring semester. There's a light at the end of both tunnels.

As for the license, well, I made an effort, but I needed to send in the birth certificate for my passport, so it's really not my fault ... although procrastinating so long probably didn't help. I should have my birth certificate before we go on the trip, so maybe I'll go for the written test before we leave. Maybe.

6 is actually going to be exercised on our cruise. I'll be visiting two different countries. Part of 8 (scuba-diving) might be accomplished before the cruise. Mom was talking about us taking scuba lessons before we go. We'll see.

To be brutally honest. I screwed up this last year. I could have made a hell of a lot more progress on 1 and 3. I still can. I need to make another goal, one obtainable to add to those from last year. I just can't think of anything right now. Maybe one of my friends will have an idea as to something I can improve. At the moment, I can only think of becoming more devout in my religion, actually observing all of the holidays with real rituals, rather than just simple ones.

LibraryThing Love

Okay, I have a lot of books. I'm already at 1310 books catalogued on LibraryThing and I'm not even close to being finished yet!

I love LibraryThing.

Okay, off to shower then watch the really bad version of Fantastic Four.

*cickclickclick*

Week in review, long...

This has been an interesting week - neither good nor bad, just interesting.

I managed to read quite a few books at Borders, including Transformers: Ghosts of Yesterday, by Alan Dean Foster. I bought the Transformers novelization by him to read at home. I also read the Prequel graphic novel at work, when I should have been putting it on the shelf. I couldn't help myself! It was like something else had taken over my hands and eyes and just wouldn't stop reading it. (Do you believe that? If so, there's a bridge I know of up for sale. Great price, truly.) Anyway, reading them is just making me want to see this movie even more. This is going to be a really good move summer. Between Transformers, HP, Fantastic Four and the new Die Hard movie, I'm going to have loads of fun.

I bought one of my Brit-stitch mags at Borders. There was a free Passione Ricamo pattern. She's gorgeous. I think I might show it to my niece and see if she wants me to make it for her in purple. The pattern is actually in mauve and pink. It's the full version of this one: Summer Lady. I also found an ad for a series of patterns that I really want to try "someday": Spirit Angels

Total aside: I just spoke to my cousin for over an hour. We ranged from the Supreme Court and Equal Pay to Darfur to Celiac to various relations to Guatemala to college and jobs and I absolutely adore this girl. I think she is my favorite cousin. She is passionate about causes and books. She can be petty at times (who isn't?) and is sometimes very silly (as opposed to my constant silliness...), but she is the one out of her sisters that I can trust to treat me like a normal person and not the cousin that no-one wants to deal with because dealing with me means dealing with Grandma.

What else happened? Let's see, I only worked 30 hours again, just like for the next two weeks. Target is keeping me at just over what I can claim on a partial. They did, however, give me more for the overnight differential. All of us who start work at 4am get it. It still doesn't make up for the time lost this last month or the fact that I have to get up at three in the frickin' morning. As a positive, I've had more time to myself the last few weeks. We've not changed the time I get home, even though I've been getting out earlier. The extra time has been nice. I could get used to it. I just can't get used to the lower wages.

I stashed a bit and went to Hancock Fabrics. I still want some of that linen on sale. *sigh* I might go there on Monday, since it's 60% off. Or Friday.

I wanted to get my permit, so I could say I'd gotten one of my goals for the year accomplished, but when I called I found out I couldn't yet. Apparently, I absolutely need my birth certificate (and a lot of other things!). Since Uncle Sam currently has it so he can issue me a passport, that plan is on indefinite hold.

Grandma has been decent. Her sugar has dropped mid-day lately, but it's so damned hot. Mom and I got the air conditioner in downstairs yesterday, so that should help. I'm camped out in front of mine. I like it. A lot. Aunt L came over to do the bills and I was able to make a quick run to the store for Grandma's soda while she was here.

There was probably more I wanted to note, but this is long enough. Enjoy the heat if you like it and the air conditioner if you have it. If you don't like the heat and don't have an air conditioner, I hope you're in the Antarctic!

Oh wait, one more thing! I saw that the Superman Ultimate Collector's Edition is back on the shelves. Now I just have to get the money for it quickly before they're all gone.

Summer is so cool, right? Wrong!

I have come to the conclusion that the Summer is my mortal enemy - for many reasons.

1. I have an Irish complexion. Reddish-brown hair and white-as-a-ghost skin don't do too well with the summer sun.
2. I'm fat. Having even a tiny layer of blubber makes the heat unbearable.
3. Grandma. She loves to sit on the porch in the heat, great, right? Sure, if she actually goes out. It's like pulling teeth to get Grandma to eat on the best of days, let alone a hot one where she's never hungry and refuses to drink more than she needs to gulp down her frickin' pills. "I'm not hungry...I'm not hungry." I swear, if I hear this one more time today, I'm going to get violent.

*sigh* And yet, I love growing things. I think growing plants is the only thing Summer is good for. It certainly does nothing for the slight hold I still retain on my sanity.

Oh, one question: Why is the noun "complexion" when the adjective is "complected"?

Oh, joy, she's back inside. I guess I get to go outside and stitch again. Bitch.

Book Signing Fun and Frustration

The Borders near me is having a book signing June 9. I want to go since I like one of the authors. I've been researching the other three that are going to be there and each has books that look interesting. The problem is that most of these came out as e-books and the paperback versions are going to run around $13.50 each. Gideon, by Jacquelyn Frank is a mass-market, at least.

The only thing that's annoying me at this very moment, though is that the one book that really looks interesting by Stella and Audra Price is called Fire in his Eyes. It's a dragon/shifter romance. Lovely, but they just switched publishers, so it won't be available for Stella's signing!

The other two authors showing up are Bianca D'Arc and Rene Lyons. I've already picked out books by them I want: Ladies of the Lair and Midnight Sun, by the authors, respectively.

This should be fun. I just hope Mom's not working so I can go. And that I have a spare $40 to spend on only three books...

Tim Curry blew up my DVD player!

My DVD player blew up. I turned it on and loaded Clue for a few hours of mindless fun (and counting gunshots) when I realized the movie wasn't loading. I then noticed a small plume of smoke coming from the side of the player. I quickly unplugged it from the wall and the TV, showed it to Mom as I went downstairs and left it in the entrance. My room smelled like burning plastic and circuitry for about two or three hours afterwards. Mom was boggled. SO was I. I never even thought something like that could happen.

I guess this means the next one I buy will cost me more than $30 if I want it to last a significant amount of time and not burn my house down. For now, I'm watching movies on the laptop.

Your Power Bird

Via Morchades

Your Power Bird is an Owl

You are beyond wise. You are so smart, you're almost prophetic. Your inner voice always speaks the truth, and you take the time to listen to it. You are good at seeing who people are... including the darkness of others. As a result, you tend to have a rather dark - yet realistic - outlook on life.

What's Your Power Bird?

I am not a bit surprised by this result. I absolutely adore owls. They are gorgeous, fascinating and best of all, nocturnal!

Dementia and Shortcake

She's getting worse. We took Grandma to the Glider for dinner the other night and the only thing she insisted she wanted the entire night was their Strawberry Shortcake (damned good Strawberry Shortcake, I might add!). Well, when we got it, Mom and I dug in. (No, it isn't GF. Fuck it.) Grandma sat there a minute, fiddling with the fork and knife next to the plate, but not picking them up to eat. I had to hand her a fork before she started to eat. I really think she'd briefly forgotten what to do. This dementia thing really sucks.

Lackawanna Politics, part 2

As promised, here's a listing of the candidates for Scranton District of Lackawanna County. I tried getting all of the candidates for Lackawanna County but the clerks were a bit stressed out and the Scranton district was all I could get. After all, there are something like 163 districts in Lackawanna County. Well, here goes the list.

Democratic candidates (because they come first on the ballot):

Justice of the Supreme Court: vote for not more than two
Willis W. Berry, Jr (Philadelphia County)
Seamus McCaffery (Philadelphia County)
Debra Todd (Butler County)
C. Darnell Jones, II (Philadelphia County)
Judge of the Superior Court: vote for not more than two
Timothy J. McCormick (Westmoreland County)
Ron Folino (Allegheny County)
Anna E. Lazarus (Philadelphia County)
Jimmy Lynn (Philadelphia County)
Christine Donohue (Allegheny County)
John Milton Younge (Philadelphia County)
James M. DeLeon (Philadelphia County)
County Commissioners: vote for not more than two
Michael J. Washo (Newton)
Corey O'Brien (Moosic)
Robert Berta (Jessup) - I can't find a website, sorry.
Evie Rafalko McNulty (Scranton)
Clerk of Judicial Records: vote for one
Mary F. Rinaldi (Dunmore)
County Controller: vote for one
John A. Mellow (Blakely)
Glenn M. Cashuric (Olyphant)
Ken McDowell (Scranton)
County Treasurer: vote for one
Edward Karpovich (Clarks Summit)
County Coroner: vote for one
Joseph J. Brennan (Carbondale)
Scranton City Controller: vote for one
Roseann Novembrino
Scranton City Council: vote for not more than two
Andrew M. Sbaraglia
William Courtright
Robert E. McGoff, Jr.
Greg Popil
Lee Morgan
Scranton School Director: vote for not more than five - see the links below for information
Paul O'Malley
Christopher Phillips
Joseph X. Garvey, Jr.
Tom Gilbride
Patrick Mitchell
Mark Dougher
Kathleen M. McGuigan
Joseph A. Matyjevich
Joe Gatelli
Carol Oleski
Patrick O'Malley
Daniel P. Keeler
Paul McGloin, Sr.
James R. Minicozzi

Republican candidates:

Justice of the Supreme Court: vote for not more than two
Paul P. Panepinto (Philadelphia County)
Maureen E. Lally-Green (Butler County)
Mike Krancer (Montgomery County)
Judge of the Superior Court: vote for not more than two
Bruce F. Bratton (Dauphin County)
Cheryl Lynn Allen (Allegheny County)
Jacqueline O. Shogan (Westmoreland County)
County Commissioners: vote for not more than two
A.J. Munchak (Taylor) - shares a website with Cordaro
Robert C. Cordaro (write-in candidate) - shares a website with Munchak
Rob Castellani (write-in candidate) - shares a website with Spinka
Phil Spinka (write-in candidate) - shares a website with Castellani
Clerk of Judicial Records: vote for one
none
County Controller: vote for one
Michael J. Bodnar (Dunmore) - I can't find a website, sorry.
County Treasurer: vote for one
none
County Coroner: vote for one
none
Scranton City Controller: vote for one
none
Scranton City Council: vote for not more than two
Giovanni Piccolino - I can't find a website, sorry.
Pat Rogan - I can't find a website, sorry.
Scranton School Director: vote for not more than five - see below
Carol Oleski
James R. Minicozzi
Patrick Mitchell
Kathleen M. McGuigan
Patrick O'Malley
Joseph A. Matyjevich
Daniel P. Keeler
Mark Dougher

I am trying to provide links that will help you figure out which of these people you like best.

League of Women Voters PDF: How to Judge the Judges
Questionnaire for the candidates for Supreme Court
PAVoteSmart - 2007 Judicial Election Information
Scranton Times-Tribune article about the candidates for Scranton School District, including opinions
Scranton Times-Tribune article about the Democratic candidates for Scranton City Council with some of their opinions.

Lackawanna County Voting, part 1

Okay, I've been trying to find information about a measure on the Primary ballot. It's been rather difficult. Lackawanna County has no website or other type of information about the elections and candidates that I can find. I'll be picking up a ballot tomorrow to find out who is actually running for what and what ballot measures are on there.

There are some helpful websites, but some you have to take with a grain of salt.

Information on Act One: As an aside, it seems that Scranton School District voters don't have to vote yes or no. I don't know if that's good or bad.
PICPA Fact Sheet
LWV Fact Sheet

The League of Women Voters of Pennsylvania - deals with Pennsylvania statewide, rather than Lackawanna County specifically. Here's another LWV page that has statewide judicial races listed.
The Lu Lac Political Letter - a blog about politics in Luzerne and Lackawanna Counties
Lackawanna County Department Listing - just a telephone and email directory of the various county agencies and departments.
Doherty Deceit - a blog about politics in Scranton (obviously, very unhappy with the job Mayor Doherty is doing)
Scranton Online Discussion - message board about all things Scranton
Gort42 - blog about local politics (and baseball)
The Independent, Conservative, Common Sense Oasis - conservative blog about local politics
Jennifer D. Wade - local blog with some political stuff
Wilkes-Barre Political Scene - Wilkes-Barre political blog (obviously)

Some of the candidates: (alphabetical order) - I know there are a lot more that I'm missing. Tomorrow I'll add them after I get the ballot.
Evie Rafalko McNulty (Democrat for County Commissioner)
AJ Munchak & Robert Cordaro (Republicans for re-election as County Commissioner)
Corey O'Brien (Democrat of County Commissioner)

Here's a LWV Voter's Guide for Luzerne County, at least.

Generic Pennsylvania politics sites:
IssuesPA
PoliticsPA
GrassrotsPA

Work errata

Okay, there's a lady at work that I actually like most of the time. She's nice. She's also forty years old (looks like she's about twenty-five, tops), lives with her parents (pays nothing toward bills or rent) and consistently does the exact opposite of what she's supposed to do at work. She has tendonitis, so she doesn't want to pull or backstock anything because it hurts her elbow. She has sinus problems and calls off if they're bothering her. The newest ailment is bursitis in her hip and now she can't do the comp shopping because walking around Wally-world is too much for her. Nor can she climb ladders. Today, she was doing something that required nothing more than standing and reaching up or down. She left early.

As I said, I like her. She's a nice girl (if I can call a forty-year-old a girl). However, if she can't do the work (she came to my team from customer service because she doesn't like the customers) either fire her or put her on disability and give us someone who will do the work required, dammit! One of my other team-mates has had both hips replaced and walks with a hitched step. He's also damned efficient and hard-working. One of the older ladies needs her knees replaced, but she can't afford it. She's also terrified of heights and isn't very high herself *coughshortshitcough*. She makes herself go up the ladders. Another has arm problems and tires easily and makes herself do the work needed. The lady next oldest to me has blinding migraines and cysts on her ovaries that keep her in constant pain. Yes, we're a very healthy bunch. *snort* But we do the damned work!
I know, I've called off due to illness before. I won't deny it. I've left early when I was sick. However, constantly leaving or making others do tasks you just don't like is plain wrong. She needs a wake-up call. I wish my supervisor would actually do something about it, rather than just shake her head and look the other way out of fear we won't get anyone to replace her. Frankly, she's useless to us at the moment. This has gone on long enough.

Argh Redux

So much for a good thing. Mrs. Hyde is back. Grandma's been listless lately and now the bitch is back. Between her and Mom I'm ready to murder.

Thank the Gods I got out last night, at least. I saw Spiderman 3. It was better than I thought it would be, but not as good as I hoped.

My timing just sucks...

Do I have shitty timing or what? A few weeks ago I found out about a museum in NYC (Cooper-Hewitt) that has major holdings of textile arts, like needlework samplers, lacework and tapestries. Since Mom has been talking about visiting Corning on Mother's Day weekend I figured this would be a great time to go there instead. I just found out that they ask for two weeks notice to see their holdings. OK. Maybe I could have worked around that with the fact that I didn't know they existed until two weeks ago. However, it's hard to work around the fact that they are packing up all of those wonderful things I wanted to see and will be storing them off-site for at least a year!

The woman suggested I go to the Washington exhibits since they are one of the Smithsonian Museums, but looking at the Smithsonian site, the only place I can find that seems to have the textile exhibits I want is the American Museum, which is closed for renovation until Summer 2008.

Yeesh!

I wonder where we'll end up. Maybe the planetarium in Schenectady? I just feel like going somewhere unusual for us, you know? Maybe I should just convince Mom to go somewhere with my brother and enjoy a weekend with absolutely no one around.

Insane Stitcher

I'm working on a new cross-stitch design. Well, two of them, really. One is going to be an accordion-style pattern book done to keep a record of my blackwork patterns and the other is an attempt to recreate an origami fortune teller in fabric and stitches. The pattern book is fairly normal. The other? Um, not so much. We'll see how well I succeed at them.

In the meantime, I still have to work on the Temple, the Chameleon and Kwan Yin. Kwan Yin is being shunted to the side for a while, as the recipient has moved and hasn't provided me with a new address yet, anyway. If I look at my grand plan for the year, I've already violated it in so many ways. I've done way more small projects than I said I would and haven't worked on my main projects enough OR the Dragon Dreams ornies for myself. *sigh* I have no discipline. I do, however, have two gifts and one exchange project ready to be given away. I also have a yearning to do these for everyone's Christmas gifts. Heidi liked my biscornu scissor fob, so I might make one for her (as a sachet) for shits and giggles. Ahem, after I finish more stitching on my main projects. Also, I really want to try these - third picture down. Well, Kim, would you like one?

Good Days

Yesterday was a Grandma Day. We had fun going through old documents in her security box. She cracked some jokes and I teased her about some things and Mom teased us both. She remembered a few things and is actually going to let me copy the tax receipts I found for the genealogy. Much coolness. I haven't really talked to her much today, so I can't say what it'll end up being.

I made out like a fat cat on Saturday at the Weinberg Library sale. $15.50 worth of books, most of them either hardcovers or Greek classics. *sigh* I love library book sales. Also, the ladies at the library are going to stay on the lookout for any books on Gregg Shorthand for me. I really want to relearn it. I went out on Friday and Saturday nights. This has been a really good couple of days. Oh, and congrats to my friend, Noelle, who got her black belt on Friday!

Human for Sale

gakked from WyckedKittie

I am worth $1,461,130 on HumanForSale.com
How much are you worth?

irony or fate?

Yesterday I mentioned to the counselor that my cousins never come over to visit Grandma and that it really annoyed me. My second-oldest just walked through the door and is downstairs talking to her now. Weird.

Update - it turns out she came over only because she promised my brother she'd drop something off for my mother.

Forget litterbugs...

There's a squirrel littering in the park across the street from my house. He's diving into and out of the trash bin, removing items like paper each time. He plays with them for a bit, shaking them around and turning them inside out and upside down before dropping them on the ground outside the bin. Then he jumps in and grabs something else.

Limbo no longer...

The dude did something right for a change. Pope Benedict, whom I truly dislike, has changed the teaching on unbaptized Catholic infants. Instead of saying they go to Limbo, they now have their Get-out-of-jail-free cards and go to Heaven, after all.

"It stressed that none of its findings should be taken as diminishing the need for parents to baptize infants.

'Rather ... they provide strong grounds for hope that God will save infants when we have not been able to do for them what we would have wished to do, namely, to baptize them into the faith and life of the church.'

Vatican watchers hailed the decision as both a sensitive and significant move by Benedict. "

Bravo, Pope Benedict. There might be hope for you yet.

you are very sleeeeeeepy

I am tired. The keyboard is actually a little blurry if I don't concentrate on it.

So, why am I up? Why not sleep a little, especially since Mom is off work today? Because she and my brother went out and I had to wake up after two and a half hours of sleep to sit downstairs with Grandma. My brother had to go to the VA hospital for a follow-up on his leg and Mom needed to file her passport information and do something else that I can't locate in my muzzy brain right now.

*sigh* Why couldn't they at least have waited two more hours? Four hours of sleep after a hellish week of overnights and various other drama would have been sooooooo nice.

Well, at last the laptop is fixed again. If I worked on cross-stitch, I'd end up frogging everything the minute I could actually open my eyes for real.

I'm actually calmer now...

Barb from AAA talked to Mom and has listed the accusations as "unfounded". Great, wonderful, but they're still there and that's going to fester a bit, I think. Supposedly, she's going to try to find out what aide has been bringing food. We think the cold and the ceiling tile thing came from Lynn, Grandma's caseworker. However, we're off the hook as far as any investigation or anything like that.

I talked to a counselor today. I'll talk to her again next week and I think I might try to keep it up. I don't know how much it'll cost, but I think I need it. She asked me what I really want right now if I could have it and the answers were simple: more time to myself that I don't feel like I'm "stealing" and time to go back to school face to face, not just by computer. I enjoy school. I love going to classes and being with other students. It's fun. Of course, the only way either of those two goals would be accomplished is if: A, Mom gives up any life she has or B, the relatives start taking some responsibility for their mother/grandmother. Now, since the first is totally unfair to Mom and the second is almost an impossibility, I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm just hoping I get out of this whole situation still loving my grandmother and not hating her for what we've gone through for the past five years.

*snort* I told her about the last two times I tried counseling and the unmitigated disasters that ensued and she promised me she wouldn't recommend letter or journal writing, so what am I doing now? No, I need to reclaim my writing, no matter what else happens in my life. It's a piece of my soul that I've been missing for far too long.

On a good note, except for the idiocy with the accusations, today and yesterday have been Grandma Days. Mrs. Hyde is nowhere to be seen. She's been talking to us, making jokes, starting conversation. She just ate some soup without a fight because she was cold. Usually I get at least token resistance about soup, no matter how freezing she is. Yesterday when we talked to her about the accusations she scoffed at them. On Grandma Days she knows we are here to take care of her. She's pretty cool on those days. Two in a row! It's when Mrs. Hyde is visiting that I stay in my room. We just ate in the kitchen together, talking nicely. She had her soup and I had a ham sandwich. It was nice.

Oh, I also finished my needle roll for my cross-stitch exchange. I really like how it turned out. The designs are based on Aesop's Fables. When the recipient gets it, I'll post a picture. Hee-hee. I worked on some of it while I was talking to Penny (the counselor). I even told her. She didn't say anything about it, so I don't think she minded. I just hate sitting around doing nothing with my hands while I'm on the phone or watching television for a long period of time. That reminds me, Mom is supposed to try to teach me how to crochet again...

Warning: Extreme Grandma Rant!

I don't know if I can truly express how angry and upset I am right now. I just received a call from the Area Agency on Aging. Apparently, Grandma's caseworker had some concerns about Mom and I when she visited last for two reasons.

1. The ceiling tiles in the bathroom need repair. They do, and my uncle has been promising to do it for the last two years. Mom and I simply don't have the knowledge to fix them. We replaced the roof a few years ago and had to rip out the old tiles. We were able to get most of them replaced before we ran into a snag that we couldn't fix. My uncle keeps saying he'll come out, but never seems to have the time. We have been slowly removing those that look like they have a tenuous hold on anti-gravity. I guess the case-worker saw them and is afraid they'll all come down and bonk grandma on the head. Fine, we've been trying to get them fixed, but I guess we should have, I don't know, hog-tied one of my uncles or the cousin who've been in construction, dragged them over and forced them to help take care of their mother/grandmother.

2. (And this is the one that really burns my ass) Supposedly, some of the aides have been bringing Grandma food because she says "there is none in the house". We buy food for her before and a hell of a lot more often than we buy it for ourselves. The pantry is full, so is the refrigerator. The problem lies in the fact that she simply doesn't want to eat anything other than chips, butter pecan ice cream, jello and fruit, with her diet soda washing it down. Mom and I buy stuff that's nutritious and filling, therefore it doesn't exist in Grandma's eyes. She eats it when she feels like it, if she feels like it and I guess none of the aides are pushing the issue with her like we have to. Of course, when TAFH is in, she eats whatever is put in front of her, because TAFH is taking care of her and dancing constant attendance.

I'm pissed, truly and utterly pissed. I'm shaking so hard that I have to keep hitting the backspace key to erase typing mistakes. I may not enjoy taking care of Grandma nine times out of ten, but I took on this responsibility and I will be damned if someone tells me I'm not taking care of her correctly. I give her more care and attention than I give my own health and mental well-being. Mom cries herself to sleep many nights. I just don't know what else to say. To think someone doesn't believe I'm taking care of her is mind-boggling.

They can live with her and try to get her to eat, bathe and change clothing. They can put up with her glaring at you if you dare to stay downstairs and watch television with her. They can learn to ignore constant insults about your weight and the fact that you "read too much" and "have too many books" and do those stupid crafts all the time (the only fucking things keeping me sane since I can't go back to school and get my degree because, surprise surprise, all the relatives are too fucking busy with their lives to let me go to classes). They can see what it's like to have one of the nicest people in your young life turn into Mrs. Hyde on you when you try to help her. They can come here and see the difference in her personality when there is anybody here but Mom and I. She's an entirely different woman: personable, sweet, nice, kind. Everyone always tells me, "Oh, your Grandma is so nice and sweet." Yeah? Live with her. She's crabby, cold, unfeeling and a plain old bitch about four days out of the week. Two of the other days, she's just totally ignoring us because we made her eat something she didn't like or had to go somewhere and made her leave the house to sit in the car with the heat on full blast (she refuses to enter stores, so we rush around like mad chickens getting stuff done and out quickly) and maybe, just maybe, she'll actually be nice to us on the seventh day. We live for those days. On those days, my Grandma is back. My real Grandma - not the ready-to-die woman I've been living with for going on five years.

Ooh, I'll bet the fact that all Grandma wants to do is sleep on the couch all day is our fault, too. Maybe we should drag her up and out of the couch and somehow force her to do exercises. Anyone have a remote-operated, body-control device I can use?

This has not helped cool me down, especially since I know, logically, that the AAA was doing what they are meant to do and I'm grateful for their existence. They do a lot of good and are extremely necessary. I just never would have thought they'd think Mom and I don't take care of Grandma right. I'm crying now. I'm going to go break my diet and have some chocolate.

Diets and Women's Sizes

I'm on a diet. It's been mildly successful so far. I've lost 2 .75 inches around my waist in a few weeks. I consider this a major step forward. It's a damn good thing I actually like salads.

I've been trying to figure out my end goal (size 12) and what I need to lose to get there. The problem is there are quite a few different measurement charts to go by. The US Standard size chart, which the clothing manufacturers in the United States aren't required to use, for some reason, states thus:

Size 10 (might be cool to be this tiny again): bust - 32.5, waist - 25, hips - 34.5

Size 12 (ultimate goal): bust - 34, waist - 26.5, hips - 36

Size 14 (goal for vacation at the end of July): bust - 36, waist - 28, hips - 38

Apparently, this sizing standard is falling into disuse by everyone because of its age, vanity sizing (yes, I believe it exists) and designers whims.

By contrast, the majority of catalog sales measure sizes thusly:

Size 10 : bust - 37, waist - 28, hips - 38.5
Size 12 : bust - 38.5, waist - 29.5, hips - 40

Size 14 : bust - 40, waist - 31, hips - 41.5

I would love to make it to the US Standards idea of size 12. I'd feel so skinny it's not even funny. However, just to get to their size 14 waist, I'd still have 15.5 inches to go in three months. I think the catalog one is a little more doable. It makes me wonder, though, I'm already wearing size 18. It doesn't take dropping almost 16 inches to lose two sizes, does it?

Oh, did I mention I keep putting off the exercise portion... *stupid stupid*

LibraryThing addiction

Well, I've passed 1000 books. I haven't tagged them all yet, but I'm getting to it. Can I just state now and for the record that LibraryThing is almost as addictive as LiveJournal. It's so fun just perusing others' libraries, especially if they have a lot of the same books I have.

I pretty much knew it would happen, but my tagging efforts are bringing home just how much fluff I read and re-read. So far my tag for contemporary romance is leading the pack, thanks to all those silly Harlequin and Silhouettes I buy. I was hoping my history tag would be able to win, but I really knew it wasn't going to happen. Oh, well. If I didn't re-read these books and wasn't going through and getting rid of books I no longer have any interest in whatsoever, I'd feel guilty. As it is, I do re-read them and am only keeping those I feel I really will read again.

I'm posting most of the books I no longer want on the PaperbackSwap website. There will be some I just bring to the Book Swap, though. Those are the books that I really don't think anyone will want - Harlequins and such.

Hah! The fun part now is opening up all of my downloaded e-books and finding the ISBNs that will work in the files. For some reason, those listed in the "front page" don't register with Amazon.com, so you have to find the books in a very backwards way or manually input them yourself. It's a good thing I'm patient.

Feminism and Dinosaurs

I have this thing about the movie Jurassic Park. I absolutely adore it. I got hooked on dinosaurs when I was a wee, little thing. Well, young and short, anyway. I've never been wee or little. Despite the movie's scientific inaccuracies or improbabilities it is one of the double handful of movies I have seen repeatedly in the theater (Aladdin [3 times], JP [6 times], all four HPs [too many to count between them]).

I just noticed something today while watching it for what must be the thousandth time (JP marathon - Wahoo!). When Hammond picks up the phone in the bunker, he automatically assumes it's Grant on the other end. Now I thought Grant was lost in the park with the kids and Ellie and Muldoon were resetting the controls. At no time in the action does it show Ellie letting Hammond know that Muldoon is dead and she met up with Grant and the kids. Now, after her verbal bitch-slap of Hammond and his "sexism in survival situations", you would assume he'd just think it was Ellie, right?

Am I just over-analyzing this? Probably. I blame my friends Sinspired and Morchades, of course. I've been reading their journals way too often if my brain is starting to process throwaway lines with a feminist slant.

Although, if you really think about it, the whole movie is a feminist heaven. Except for the dinos in the wild, which they didn't use, all of them are female. That includes the T-rex that chomps Gennaro's ass and the velociraptors that ambush Muldoon (who really should have known better since he called them a pride to begin with and knows pack-hunting behavior!). Also, the girls really get to do a lot of the heroic stuff. Ellie foils the velociraptor chasing her in the control shed - sorta. She gets to do all sorts of action-hero stuff, while giving Hammond something to think about in regards to sexism. She gets to be the wise elder of the piece with her conversation with Hammond when Grant and the kids are still missing.

Lexie, in the book, was a bratty little sister who played with a baseball and annoyed her older brother, contributing absolutely nothing. Tim in the book was the older brother who was the dinosaur expert and the computer whiz. Thankfully, in the movie they split Tim's role - or I would have suggested offering Lexie up as an offering to the velociraptors' gods. Lexie was the computer nerd/hacker who managed to get the systems rebooted while the adults were fending off one of the velociraptors. Except for her girly-ickishness regarding the brachiosaur sneezing and the T-rex trying to eat her (like we'd all react well to that), she managed to come out as a smart character who could save the day.

Most of the guys actually got the short end of the stick. Hammond got killed in the book, but just ended up as a sort of broken, old man in the movie. He had some clever lines and funny moments, but he came off as the overzealous, unthinking person who gets what he deserves. Gennaro gets chomped on by the T-rex, which he has coming to him for running out on the kids. Muldoon, well, see the parentheses above about the velociraptor. *fumes* Nedry gets eaten by dilophosaurs after betraying Hammond and setting everything into motion. John Arnold's family might be able to bury his arm someday, even though he never really did anything in the movie to deserve his fate. Malcom gets injured, has some really funny lines, leads the t-rex away from the kids and leads Ellie to the right place, but his defining contribution is his character's moralistic viewpoint. Wu and Harding get away, which I like, especially since I have a soft spot in my heart for B.D. Wong.

Grant and Tim come off the best of all of the guys. Grant, of course, saves the kids (with Malcom's assistance) and gets them home. He softens up towards children and gets to be all kick-ass with the shotgun. He notes the fact that the dinos are breeding (which never comes up again, damnit!) and gets to do the whole looking at the future and the past in the last shots of the movie. Little kids can be so annoying in movies. Tim comes off well. They gave his character the dinosaur smarts, which he uses to identify the "meatasauruses" from the "veggiesauruses" for his sister, getting them out of trouble. He gets to be the annoying little brother a few times, but is also the one who first realizes the danger of the T-rex. He even gets the best stunt.

Ah, well. A little semi-feminist snippet from someone who is now going back to enjoy the second JP movie and all the clever quips that are to come. Cheers.

Celiac Disease and AIDS false positive results

For any Celiacs actually reading this blog, I came across a link to an article regarding various auto-immune disorders and possible false positives for AIDS. Personally, I have Epstein-Barr Virus on top of Celiac Disease. EBV is listed as a possible cause for false positives. Oh, joy.

The article is from 1996, so there is probably a lot more current data, but it's an interesting read. There are a lot of illnesses that might throw off the readings.

Ageism is alive and well these days...

Today I encountered a woman who put my back up in the worst way. Our very cool bus driver asked her how she was doing when we got on and somehow she ended up in a rant about young people these days. The only reason I didn't say anything was because of her age and the general rule I have about respecting old people and not calling them out for being obnoxious assholes. (This one was a nasty old bat, not an elderly person!) She went off about young people not being taught manners or respect, then just had to mention a neighbor of hers who was a slut (her words) and the children she had, all three of whom are also sluts. When Joe (the bus driver) kind of just uh-huhed her she had to mention that one of the slutty children was a man in his thirties. She then wished that he'd get AIDs because he deserves it. Of course, then the topic had to change to the fact that the taxpayers have to pay for all the children of these slutty young people, who have sex before marriage and all that.

I guess every single person of her generation (both genders) was a virgin before marriage. No pre-marital sex in the Thirties, Forties and Fifties.

I was amazed by the vitriol spewing from the mouth of this small, kindly-looking woman. I commented to Joe later something along the lines of her being the picture of Christian charity and good will. He just shrugged and said that he just lets people like her go, because he has to face them each day. He's right, the poor guy.

I would love it if, for once, some older person didn't lay the blame for everything on the younger people. I'm thirty. I have manners (mostly good) and a decent respect for the elderly (Count the holes in my tongue from not telling the old bat where she could stick her prejudices!) and my mother's generation. I also try to respect my contemporaries and the generation after me. Why is it that I am somehow less deserving of the respect due the elderly? Do these people who treat younger generations like crap not have any clue as to what they did when they were young and what happened in their own times and those before them? It must be selective memory/ignorance because some of the things my mother and great-relatives have told me about I wouldn't try if you paid me a million dollars.

Just a side note: when looking up "ageism" for the Wikipedia link, I encountered a lot more links relating to discrimination against the elderly. There were some nice links dealing with discrimination towards teens and such, though. You just have to look for them. You know, at this point there are a lot more advocates for the discrimination against the elderly than there are for discrimination against youth, although neither seem to be getting much accomplished in regards to either problem.

Nerd Type

Okay, this was too good not to post. I have found out what type of nerd I am. It's not a book nerd, despite the fact that I found this quiz while taking a short break from entering books on LibraryThing (636 books and counting). I am...

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Drama Nerd You sure do love the spotlight and probably have a very out-going and loud personality. Or not. That's just a stereotype, of course. Participation in the theatre is something to be very proud of. Whether you have a great voice for musicals, or astounding skills for dramas/comedies; keep up the good work. We need more entertainment these days that isn't television and video games (not that these things are bad, necessarily.)
Social Nerd
Literature Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Musician
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

Of all things, a drama nerd?! *swishes hair back dramatically* How absurd!

;p