I may need a vacation from my vacation. I haven't actually gone anywhere and that's most likely the problem. I've had a pretty solid week of Grandma-sitting, adding my niece and nephew to the mix. Tuesday the kids and I escaped the nuthouse to go to the store so I could show them off and get some kid-oriented puzzles. Today we went to my Grandfather's and Grandma went to my Uncle B's house for dinner. "Bea", the woman who watches her when Mom and I are working came for a while, too. She'll probably come tomorrow so I can take the kids out for an hour or so.
It's just been a bit of a frustrating visit. My brother is becoming just like TAFH. He is in the military, so I understand self-confidence is a must, but he's "never wrong." His way is always the right way and Mom and I give in to Grandma too much. He cleaned out our freezer without asking us if he could, for instance. He just assumed the right. He tells us that we should just do things and basically tell Grandma to suck it up. He bought a new ironing board (he irons every article of clothing he puts on his body but for underwear and socks), something Mom and I (well, Mom, at least) have been trying to convince Grandma to let us do, and it's totally cool with her. Meanwhile, she gripes and moans to the nurse who was here for her six-month checkup about everything I do.
To be honest, he's always been like this to a point. He was always the only boy in our generation, and no matter what my prents say, spoiled a little bit. He even admits Mom favored him. She denies it, but my brother and I know she's just trying hard not to see it. He tells me that I can take what he says to me without getting defensive about it and "over-reacting." He always says this right before he says something he knows would get me pissed, but since he just "complimented" me by telling me how rational I can be, I can't react without looking the total fool. I just do what I always do with my family. Shut up and go to my room. He didn't even want to spend any time Grandma-sitting and laughed about it when I told him that's what I get to do with my day, because "he" was on vacation. Well, so am I, dammit! He apparently told Mom later he was happy I got to go out every once in a while because it's not good for me to never go out, or something like that, but wouldn't it be nice if he said something like that to me, instead of making me feel like stupid crap? He says Mom and I try to please people to much, which is true, we do. But he's quite willing to take it and not help back.
*sigh* To be fair, he has watched her a few times for an hour or so, but he gripes about it plenty. The one time I went to the grocery store to buy food to feed him and his kids and he did his usual, "You need to learn how to walk faster." The other was when I went to the doctor's and I made sure I took my sweet time getting home. I even took the bus when walking would have been a bit faster. *snort* I only added about twenty minutes time to make a total of about an hour and a half, and I consider this a respite. How pathetic can I be?
I don't know. There have really been only three or four people in my life that can so casually, constantly and unconsciously make me feel so unloved, stupid, insignificant and totally unnecessary to this planet. It's just my dumb luck that two of them happen to be sharing the same roof with me at the same time. All that's needed now is a visit from my father and TAFH.
Note to self: Never clean your room again. You get in as much trouble with Grandma as when it's a total mess. Also, anyone want to do my laundry? If I do one large load a week, that's doing laundry every day in her mind (This from the woman who will wash a shirt and pants every single day. Yes, I do mean a shirt and a pair of pants and that's it and call it a full load.). I did three loads in the last two days, as I've been going through my clothing to get rid of stuff I'll never wear again. Big mistake.
Oops, I left the last load in the washer. I'd better get it out and on the radiators. The second load is hanging on the ladder going up to the attic in a pile. I was forbidden use of the radiators last night. I'm taking them tonight, no matter what the old bat says.
There, I said it. I called her a name online. Of course, if you'd been a doctor and heard me when I was hanging clothing yesterday, you'd have been calling in a diagnosis of Tourette's!