Saturday, May 06, 2006

I spoke too effing soon (A Grandma Update)

Well, Mrs. Hyde is back with a vengeance. I guess being nice for a few days was too much for her to bear.

Grandma is going to TAFH's house this week. She needs to find a certain pair of shorts that my other aunt gave her. Well, she broke for the stairs and made it up without anyone hearing her. We had boxed up the junk on the floor and moved the computer in there. It's organized and neat. Her clothes that were on the floor or hanging about went itno boxes, too. This wasn't just our doing, but on consensus from all of the family. TAFH even put up the first box/suitcase. That was okay, but now with her selective memory it was all Mom who did it.

When she realized Grandma was upstairs Mm went up there and asked her why she didn't tell one of us she was going up. She never does and still thinks she's going to move back up there. She got huffy and made a remark about that. Mom just told her to talk to her other kids. Well, in the space of about fifteen minutes, Grandma managed to pick at Mom so badly she reduced her to tears.

Grandma actually said we want her dead. I got in her face and tld her VERY strongly that the reason we are here and everything we do is to keep her alive. She didn't say much to that, just harped on her usual: "The clothes should be upstairs. The dresser should never have been brought downstairs. You move my stuff all the time. Yadda Yadda. We're always wrong."

Oh, shit. They're downstairs right now and Mom is asking her if she even loves her.

I'm crying. I don't know what to say. Mom just stormed out in tears, sure her mother hates her. Grandma and I had it out, sort of. She and I both said things. She's insisting she doesn't hate Mom, but that when Mom asked her, she just didn't want to answer her. She's that spiteful. She thinks I want her dead so I could have the big room. She said that everything I do says that. I guess making sure she doesn't fall, making sure she eats right and making sure she gets her pills is evil. I asked her if she realized that Mom cries every night? SHe doesn't care as long as we don't move her stuff. There was so much more said, including me cursing at her and her telling me to get out, I told her no. She said I took care of her only when I wanted to. I told her if I did that then I'd be gone right now, but I'm not. I made the mistake of mentioning that I'd be out with my friends more often and her reply was "What friends?" I told her I have more than one and she scoffed. And I do. People at work have invited me out, but how can I go with noone to watch her?

I'm shaking. Aunt L is coming over so I can go out for a while. I want to get some shopping done. I wish I could get stinking drunk. I hope Mom's okay. Driving and crying don't mix well.

I asked Grandma at the end of our confrontation (with me in tears) if she would just tell Mom she loved her. I told her I don't care if she doesn't love me. I already have that from Dad, but Mom shouldn't have to feel that. She had a tear in her eye, maybe it did some good. I hope.


Sinspired said...

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

Shadowspun said...

I thought about calling, but figured you'd be at work. Besides, you have enough shit going on right now to worry about this.

LOL. So I went to a movie at the Steamtown Mall to decompress. I went to see Hoot. It was pretty good. I'm going to pick up the book to read.

We are supposedly back to normal. Grandma is doing her usual thing of acting like it never happened. Mom is at her last straw and seriously talking about moving out. Whether or not things will improve, we move out or if we just stick it out is yet to be seen.

I think it'll get worse, to tell you the truth. Gods, give me strength. And if I ever turn into my Grandmother let me be run over by a beer wagon!

Sinspired said...

As long as it's Guiness.

Shadowspun said...

Ah, and now what else would a good Irish girl like me be taken out by? Yuengling? Coors? Perish the thought, lassie. *shudder*

BTW, here's Guinness' website if anyone's interested. I'm trying to find a way to work them into my history blog - which I've just been too depressed to research for lately.