Monday, April 14, 2008

It's getting bad. TAFH was in this weekend for my cousin's baby shower. Before she left yesterday, Grandma was crying. Then she was extremely difficult when it came to taking her pills. It took until nearly midnight. I got so little sleep I was even a little late for work.

Today she wouldn't eat, so her blood sugar plummeted, of course. I got some spaghetti in her, but she must have eaten it too fast because she threw up a bit of it. So she had to screech at me when I asked her if she wanted anymore a couple hours after she'd recovered. She did eat a pear for me, since her sugar was only 81. Then argued about her pills tonight. She has taken them, but it took about an hour and her bugging at me.

It's just so frustrating. She obviously wants to go. What can I say to her when she says she wants to die? I gave her a kiss today and her comment was that that wouldn't help. In my mind I know she's ready to go and that it would be a blessing for everyone, most especially her, but I mourn her everyday already. My Grandma has been gone for a while. She just visits periodically and then is replaced again by Mrs. Hyde.

I know there's nothing I can do but try to take care of her and keep her happy. I just wish there was more I could do.

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