Rationality vs. Irrationality

Mom is expecting rational behavior from an irrational person again. TAFH told Grandma she'd call. She hasn't, therefore Grandma is angry and bitchy and taking it out on us. I want to just call TAFH, but Mom keeps saying Grandma "has to realize she can't take things out on us."

Hello! She's demented! That's what she does.

Mom's gone to work, so I'm going to disobey her and call TAFH anyway. I'll just lie and say she actually called here. It's either piss off Mom or keep dealing with a pissed off Grandma. Frankly, I deal with Grandma more often, so guess which option I'll choose.

*snort* I'm 31 years old and still worrying about pissing off my mother. I'm pathetic.

I am good. The weather is simply gorgeous. It's warmer outside than in. So, to get Grandma to go outside, I washed her chair off and told her how warm it was. This, of course, didn't work. I didn't expect it to. What did work was telling her that if she wasn't going to go outside, I would. Her natural bitchiness, er, I mean contrariness, means that she would go outside then to kick me out of "her" chair.

It's about damned time she got outside. Supposedly it's going to be nice tomorrow, too. Maybe she'll start cheering up a little bit. She may not stay outside for long each time, but she will keep going out and in and out and in and out...

It's getting bad. TAFH was in this weekend for my cousin's baby shower. Before she left yesterday, Grandma was crying. Then she was extremely difficult when it came to taking her pills. It took until nearly midnight. I got so little sleep I was even a little late for work.

Today she wouldn't eat, so her blood sugar plummeted, of course. I got some spaghetti in her, but she must have eaten it too fast because she threw up a bit of it. So she had to screech at me when I asked her if she wanted anymore a couple hours after she'd recovered. She did eat a pear for me, since her sugar was only 81. Then argued about her pills tonight. She has taken them, but it took about an hour and her bugging at me.

It's just so frustrating. She obviously wants to go. What can I say to her when she says she wants to die? I gave her a kiss today and her comment was that that wouldn't help. In my mind I know she's ready to go and that it would be a blessing for everyone, most especially her, but I mourn her everyday already. My Grandma has been gone for a while. She just visits periodically and then is replaced again by Mrs. Hyde.

I know there's nothing I can do but try to take care of her and keep her happy. I just wish there was more I could do.

As Yoda would say - Scranton really sucks sometimes.

Pissed off, I am.

Scranton has an ordinace requiring a City Archivist. Guess what we currently do not have and according to the secretary I spoke with, we haven't for quite a while. Dammit, I need information apparently only said non-existant archivist can help me with!

If I had time, I'd volunteer for the job.

Of course, that means they'd have to find the missing boxes of documents that might contain the very documents I need.