Pink Lady Hell

Have you ever thought something was going to turn out really nice and when you finished creating it started to shake in horror?

That happened to me today. I was trying my hand at designing a biscornu and decided to go with pinks for Spring. Big mistake. It went from bold to light pink and when I was done with the design I could only stare at it. I'm not a fan of pink to begin with but this was just horrible. It's almost worth stitching up just so I can show you how pink the design actually ended up.

I changed most of the pinks to purples and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Here's a way you can get an idea of how pink we're talking. Go to this page, click on the first color card and look for the run of colors starting at 605 and going through to 3804. Those were the colors I used at first. I ended up only using 603, 604 and 3806, plus the purples I saved my sanity with.

Small Steps Back and Forth

Well, a solution to one problem has been found. Of course, it is going to create another big one for Mom down the line, but we can't worry about that now, I guess.

TAFH is coming in this weekend (Friday through Monday! Ack!). Since she is going to be very ticked off at everyone in this household, I will be avoiding her like the plague. Long story short, she was yelling at Mom over the phone and Mom hung up on her. We then refused to answer the phone the next four times she called and she refused to leave a message. She hasn't called back. So, when she actually gets here, she'll have been stewing about the fact that Mom grew some cajones and actually stood up to her little sister. (I was so proud of my mother!)

I'm going out with a friend on Saturday and staying away from the house for as long as humanly possible. I'll help my friend move, we'll watch a movie and TAFH can glory in telling Grandma what horrible care-takers we are.

As for Grandma, she just went to the doc and he gave her as good a bill of health as she can expect with her numerous ailments. She "forgot" her purse, so Mom paid the co-pay and the meds. We have a feeling she's going to keep doing this. We're taking over the rest of the bills so she only has to worry about spending her money on paying "Bea". She stopped paying for any groceries over a year ago. Since Mom and I tend to eat at work or on the way to or from work, this means we've been buying all of her food. Not that she actually eats what we make her. She usually tells me she doesn't want it after I make it and I go through about two or three things before she agrees to eat what I make. Then she tells you that you should have asked her what she wanted in the first place. When you do ask her first or ask her after you've attempted something already, she always says, "Nothing."

Don't I sound greedy? I'm not. I just get annoyed when the relatives say that Mom and I live here rent-free, trouble-free (Hah!). We pay for all of the food. We did pay half of the bills, now we'll be paying for all of them. We pay for Lifeline. The only thing we won't be paying for (at this time, anyway) are her meds, Bea and the property taxes.

Anyway, the current monetary emergency is settled. TAFH is coming in because she scheduled an assessment for some sort of waiver program. No, she never bothered to warn us that she was doing this or when she scheduled it. She never asked us if we had plans with Grandma on Monday. She scheduled it when it was convenient for her to be here and simply "knew" that everyone else would fall into step with her. We don't even know what this waiver program is or does. Is it a state program? County? Federal? What services could it provide: day care, bathing, monetary assistance? TAFH hasn't bothered to enlighten us yet. Maybe she will on Friday if we're good, little children and do exactly what Mommy Dearest says.

I just called the other Aunt, asking her if she knew what the waiver program was and she told me she had no idea, either. She did, however, tell me that she went to Grandma's doc and got a paper today that verified that Grandma can't be alone. Dr. G didn't tell Mom about this when they were there. This means that if we can't pay Bea, then either Grandma gets institutionalized or I get to quit my job and stay home 24/7. We really can't afford either option. Keep your fingers crossed that this waiver thing will pay for a home attendant.

Smile

I have a fool-proof method of cheering myself up. All I have to do is turn on the movie 1776. I have almost the entire movie memorized and can recite most of it verbatim.

Life Sucks...

This might come off as a stream of consciousness exercise, but I'm trying to get things together in my head.

Grandma is broke. Her accounts are pretty much drained dry from paying "Bea" to watch her. We've been paying her $10 an hour under the table. The last check, which bounced and led us to this revelation, was for almost $400.

So, our options stand thusly:
1. Somehow we convince Bea to accept less money.
2. Mom works six days a week, the 3-11 shift so that when I'm getting home, she's just leaving. She would schedule herself off every Wednesday (or whatever day is before the truck arrives at her store).
3. We somehow convince Grandma to go to a day-care program.
4. She goes in a home.
5. We win the fucking Powerball and never have to worry about how to pay for a thing.

Problems:
1. This is Bea's livelihood. She will neither want to work for less nor will she be convinced to leave early to save some money.
2. Mom and I will be totally burned out. (And this is different from now, how?) Also, if Mom is actually offered the regional manager position she'll have to turn it down.
3. Grandma refuses to go and they don't even start until 7 or 8 AM anyway.
4. Grandma would hate Mom for putting her away. Also, Grandma never put the house in anyone else's name (Mom and I don't give a rat's ass about whose) so if she goes into a home it'll be taken to pay for the care. Theoretically, we could live here until she died, but after her death the state would give us first refusal. There's also the fact that, while she needs help with certain things, she's not bad enough yet to need other things. Assisted Living is too independent for her, but she's not yet in need of a true nursing home.
5. Well, except for the fact that I have no way of intuiting the numbers, I see no problem with this solution.

Mom thinks TAFH jumped the gun with the whole "Grandma can't be alone" thing. I thought it was a doctor who said this, but Mom says it was one of TAFH's proclamations. There have definitely been times Grandma was well enough to be on her own and definitely times when she's been unsteady, so who knows? If it's the case that TAFH/whoever jumped the gun, then we could have held off having a constant companion for a little while and the money would have lasted a bit longer.

Mom and I really didn't think she'd last this long. I know that sounds horrible to admit, but we never thought the situation would end up like this. The way it looks, Mom's going to turn down her dream job (if it's offered to her) and work six days a week. Neither of us will have another night out again, unless one of the relatives is kind enough to offer to to watch her on a day neither of us will really have the luxury of taking advantage of. If Mom's day off is during the week, I can't go out because my work starts at 4AM. If her day off is on a weekend, we might have a chance.

One of the things that's really bugging me, though, is that it means putting off college once again. I really thought I could manage to enroll for this Spring. This means we'll have to take on not just more of the bills (which I really don't have a problem with) but all of the bills. I'm going to keep my layaway for my new mattress. I have to. I can't sleep on this one very well with all of the springs poking me. Mom is not going to be able to start a new computer payment, so yet again, I get shafted that way. She has a nice laptop, I get to use it on occasion and have to use the dinosaur as my computer. (How petty that sounds, not sorry one bit.) I'm going to stop the iPod layaway at Wal*Mart. Mom doesn't really need a 30gb iPod when she hardly listens to music outside the car.

We're going to start looking at apartments, just in case, but I really think the only choice is going to be option 2 and just hope that my stupid relatives see that we're burning ourselves out and actually help us like they fucking said they would when we took on this responsibility.

Did we make a major mistake agreeing to help her out when we moved back here? There have been a couple of times that she would most likely have died if one of us wasn't here. But is the life she has now really a blessing? Yes, she has enjoyed seeing the great-grandkids and my cousin's wedding (which came after one of the more serious incidents that I caught), but her life is simply this: she sleeps on a bed downstairs after having been told she can no longer go upstairs in her own house. When she wakes up after 10AM or so, she moves to the couch in the living room and sleeps there all day as she watches a little TV. Sometimes she sits on the porch. She argues with Mom and I about everything she eats.

Speaking of, I will now no longer give her bread. After a bit of heated conversation today she has decided she never wants bread again. So, from now on, I won't make her sandwiches (Shit! Now what do I feed her?) and any hot dogs she gets will be sans bun. If one of the relatives makes her something with bread, I will kindly inform them she doesn't like it. If she argues and says she wants the bread from the relative, then so be it and I will again serve her bread, reminding her ever more that she can't refuse it from only me. Yes, I will be a bitch about it. :)

You know, reading this back I feel like I am one of the most selfish people around. I know it porobably sounds like I hate my grandmother. But I don't. She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She is intelligent and smart. She did more when faced with major adversity than obviously I am capable of. When my grandfather died she finished raising three kids (my oldest aunt was already in college) by herself. The youngest was six years old. Until the last couple of years, she was involved in her church in every way she could be. She was an amazing card shark whom you dreaded/adored playing Rummy with. She used to joke and laugh.

I just feel like I lost my real grandmother a few years ago when she started going downhill. She doesn't joke anymore. She doesn't play cards or sing with the choir. She doesn't go anywhere. She just sleeps. She just exists. And Mom and I have an existence that revolves around her existence. So, yes, I am selfish. I want my real grandmother back. I want to be able to go back to college and actually make something of myself and my life. I want to date. I want to have more than one or two friends again. I just want everybody to be happy. Is that really so much to ask?

After a "brief" hiatus...(long)

Okay, so it wasn't so brief. I've been in a funk, I admit it.

Mom and I managed to go on our vacation. We went from Scranton to Corning then Rochester; Rochester to Lockport then Niagara/Buffalo; Buffalo to Niagara (Canadian side) then Burlington; Burlington to a few shops between there and Toronto, one verrrry long street in Toronto then Kingston; Kingston to Gananoque then somewhere between Gananoque and Syracuse; somewhere near Syracuse to Lafayette, then Ithaca to Corning to Big Flats; Big Flats to Gilbertsville then Oneonta to East Meredith and back to Scranton.

Phew! Yes, we did all of that in a week - Sunday morning to Saturday night. At Corning we made glass beads (Mom's turned out nicer. *pout*) which we picked up on the way back. We also took in the Ansel Adams exhibit that was at the Rockwell Museum of Western Art. *DROOL* We thought we'd see something at Rochester, but ended up just going to Lockport, where we toured a cave (man-made with some cool growths starting) and took a cruise on the locks of the Erie Canal. Then we hit Niagara on the American side. We went to the Cave of the Winds (which you actually can't go in anymore) and I got drenched. Mom managed to get a picture of me about to be washed away by the Bridal Veil Falls. At the end there's a place where you can donate the sandals they give you to a third world charity. We did. On our quest to find a hotel room for the night we stopped at the Our Lady of Fatima Shrine and lit candles for my brother and a few others we know. We also took pictures of any saints that had bearing on our names, except for my nephew's saint who was conspicuously absent. I guess no patrons have liked Christmas yet.

Tuesday we crossed into Canada. We exchanged a good bit of our currency, since we didn't want to use the check card unless we had to. We went on the Maid of the Mist, a suspended car over the Whirlpool, a walk past the Rapids and saw the Flower Clock and the Butterfly Conservatory. You know, for sheer size and the mist it gives off, Horseshoe Falls is impressive and dramatic, but I think Bridal Veil Falls is just prettier. It has different layers and more happening in a smaller space. But I was most impressed by the Butterfly Conservatory, if that makes any sense at all. As we were taking the shuttle to it, we met a family with ties to this area and the daughter and I started talking books, of course. (Just when you thought you were safe from nerds...) When we did get in, a Blue Morpho landed right on Mom's glasses. Unfortunately, she had the camera and I was unable to get a shot of it, but it was cool. I think we spent an hour there, just marveling at them.

Wednesday we used as a shopping day. There wasn't really anything we wanted to see in Toronto that we couldn't pass on, so we went to a genealogy store (Heaven!), two quilting shops and spent about an hour traveling down one mile of Yonge Street (Toronto's seeming equivalent to Broadway) to get to a needlework shop, where I made out pretty well - bought this in chart-form. YES! Thursday was mixed. We went to a few shops in Kingston, where both of us cleaned up and I got some very good advice about needlework. Then we went to Gananoque and took the three-hour 1000 Islands tour. I relaxed and stitched through most of it. I did fall madly in love with one of the houses on the lake. When I get the film developed, I'll post a picture of it. Mom and I crossed back into the States after that, much to the amusement of the Border guard, I think. When asked if we had anything to declare, ditzy me asked if a Wendy's salad counts. He just shook his head and passed us through. Oh, cool tidbits, we bought my aunt some GF beer called La Messagere and Wal*Marts in Canada sell KinderEggs at the registers!

Friday we picked a bushel of apples (Paula Reds, absolutely delicious) at Beak & Skiff Apple Farm (oh, their caramel apple fudge is to die for!) and on the way to Ithaca to see the Falls (lovely as they were) we lost our damned muffler! Of course, being so close to Syracuse, we had to wander into the garage of a G-Mac fan. I can't get away from that kid for anything! Mom and the mechanic had a fine time talking about him, his prospects and his personal life. I just wanted him to look at the darned car so we could go. *sigh* He ended up taking the muffler (the big tank part) off and we rolled it in one of the ponchos we had gotten at Niagara and stuffed it in the trunk. Then we went to Ithaca and Corning, where we picked up our beads. I guess it's only fair that hers turned out prettier. We both liked my flower better last time.

Oh, and a very important thing happened at Big Flats, beside us getting "all lost and confused". I finally got to go to a bookstore! Let me tell you, I will never ever ever go an entire week without reading at least one book again. I swear I was suffering the DT's.

Our last day was spent in Central New York. We hit another quilt shop in Gilbertsville, the Soccer Hall of Fame in Oneonta and Hanford Mills in East Meredith. We had time on the way home, so we went to Cinemark and took in a movie (WTC - kinda depressing, but what else can you expect?) . Then we went home.

Okay, I'm totally amazed/amused. I was looking on Yahoo! for a map so I could make sure I wrote down all the places we hit in Canada and found out that you can view a satellite image of an address. I just had to put in my home address. I can see my house! You can see the park and ball-field right across from me and the culm banks with the idiot construction across the road from me and even the place at the crick that I hang out at.

Anway, that's my vacation post, about two weeks overdue...

Cheers!

La-dee-da-dee-da

Okay, I am alive. I've been playing with my niece and nephew (they've gone home now) and working on a stitching project I have to finish as soon as possible. It's on 24 count fabric stitching over one and driving me absolutely berserk.

Anyway, I'm really not online a lot lately. I had 583 emails the other day. Yipes!

I have finally updated History's Shadow. Forget Elvis, I have someone much more fun in mind.

Oh, and I'm going through my books and sorting out those I can part with. I have over fifty posted on Paperbackswap.com already. Of course, the fact that the bookshelf my uncle put up thirty years ago finally gave in to the weight of the approximately 300 books I had shoved on it and collapsed had something to do with me actually getting off my butt and starting the sorting.

So, see you in a few days. I will try to keep up with History's Shadow, most likely updating every other day or daily if I can carve out the research time. Does anyone know how to add a few hours to every day? I could really use about three more per day, four would be better. I might get sleep, then.

Cheers!

She's Here! She's Here!

Okay, anyone reading this for a while knows I'm Pagan and desperately want to be a librarian. So, what could be more fitting than to actually find out who the Goddess of Librarians is, right? Well, her name is Seshat. She was worshipped as a counterpart to Thoth by the Egyptians. She is patroness of libraries, scribes, architects, mathematics (ugh!) and geometry.

Thanks to the wonderful talents of Kelli from Dancing Goddess Dolls, I now have my very own Seshat doll to add to my altar. She's stunning. She's so soft. I now need to decide who to order next. Medusa sounds great, as do about twelve or fifteen other goddesses, but I think it'll be the Green Man or Thoth. I should probably find a god to go with Her. For now, She'll be sharing space with Merlin, Buddha and the Lady.

Check out Kelli's stuff. It's absolutely beautiful. She makes god and goddess dolls, altar cloths, quilt tops, cards and a ton more. Kelli makes everything by hand, so her art is not cheapo, little throw-away junk. They are all well-worth the prices and the pocket goddesses are really neat! I want Cailleach and Hecate! Oh, who am I kidding? I want them all.

Gluten-Free Beer in NEPA/Scranton

Okay, if there are any Celiacs from the Scranton/NEPA area reading this, I found a GF beer that's sold in our area. It's Ramapo Valley Brewery's Gluten Free Honey Beer. It's sold at:
Cadden Brothers Beer Distributors 634 Luzerne St. Scranton , Tel: 570-346-6578

I called them and they quoted me the price of $31.99 plus tax for a 24 count case.

Slainte!

Tyrannosaur running with scissors

Have you ever felt like you have no control over anything? That the world is just spinning and spinning and if you let go you'll go hurtling off it's surface into some black hole?

I'm tired. I have no energy to do anything. I just want to sleep for a whole day and not have to take care of anyone or anything that day.

My brother just called. He's going to Iraq in September for at least four and a half months. I say "at least" because he just told me he wants to stay there for eight months. If he does, then by the time he comes back all of his debts will be paid off and he'll have money in the bank. I'd rather make sure he's alive and well in the States than worry about his flipping debts.

It may not be totally apt, but I keep thinking of a quote from Jurassic Park: "The world is changing so fast, and we're all running to catch up." No, I'm not Dr. Grant being chased by genetically engineered dinosaurs, but it seems like everything is changing around me and I'm out of sync with it all.

Overheard at the bus stop

"Pennsylvania doesn't do anything for seniors." This came out of the mouth of a senior citizen. She was using a bus pass only given to seniors and complaining about a lot of other stuff.

If she hates it here so much, she can move to Florida and let the lottery proceeds be divided fairly among the needy demographics of the state. I think using the proceeds from the lottery, as Colorado does, to keep tuition at state universities at a reasonable price would be a good first step.

So there!

You wouldn't know it by my last two posts, but I actually do like most senior citizens. I consider them to be often-wise individuals who have seen a lot of life and deserve to be listened to. I just wish they would treat younger people with the same respect we were raised to treat them with.

Dirty old men need to be scrubbed from the planet...

Okay, today I was really creeped out. An older man wanted my help, saw my name badge and grabbed me under the chin and repeated it a couple of times. I forgave this because he only held my chin for a few seconds, even though it hurt when he grabbed me. He then wanted help with portable DVDs. When I couldn't find one that was cheap enough for him he was fine with it, I guess, because he put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. Now, okay, if we were talking about a gorgeous, young stud, I wouldn't mind, but he was definitely not. Basically, I was molested today and it happened so fast I couldn't even react. I should have kneed him.

Let me tell you, if I see this dude again I am running for the damned hills.

Oh, and he was also complaining because we don't offer a senior discount. We are apparently a selfish company.

*shudder*

What's so honorable about this?

My disturbing news of the day:
Honor killings in Turkey will get the murderer a life sentence and Turkey not accepted in the EU, so conservative Muslims are driving their daughters to suicide instead to restore the family name. This is progress?

It used to be so simple. A girl would dishonor the family by being raped or wanting to go to the movies or looking at a cute boy so the family would have a younger son kill her. Because of the age of the murderer and the fact that the family was forced to kill the girl, the boy would get a light sentence. Now the EU and UN are pressing Turkey to actually progress in their treatment of women. This means that the former light punishment for honor killing is jacked up to an automatic life sentence, regardless of the age of the murderer. Since this means the families would lose two children, including the all-important male, families are making the daughters commit suicide or covering up a murder by staging it as a suicide.

A quick Yahoo! search led me to this page which confirmed what I thought. Suicide is against the teachings of Islam. So is the killing of innocents, but then, I guess if a girl has eyes and happens to admire the form of a handsome young man she is no longer innocent. I guess if she's raped by a stranger or family member she is no longer innocent. I guess if she wants to go to the theater and take in the latest movie she is no longer innocent. I guess if she wants to wear a pair of jeans she is no longer innocent. And I guess that she is not going to go to the Islamic version of Hell for suiciding because the Qur'an didn't plan for a situation where the family might have to lose their precious sons if the girl didn't commit suicide.

What do I know, though? Hey, it may be honorable in some alternate dimension where the grass is red (not only from the poor girls' blood), parental love is measured only in what a child can do for them and that child has no independent thought.

I love my Grandma!

Mom was talking about possibly getting tickets to see Toby Keith when he comes in for her and my brother. Backstage passes would be really cool if she could actually get them.

Grandma's response: "Who's Toby Cease?"

I love that woman!

The typical good news, bad news and GREAT news...

Good news:
Public Schools perform near Private ones in Study

Bad news:
In Nebraska and Tennessee, More Setbacks to Gay Rights

Great news:
My brother is coming home for a visit before his deployment back to Iraq. He's coming in on the 29th. He'll be driving from Alamogordo, New Mexico to Scranton, Pennsylvania. It's a two-day trip: complete with dog (who will be staying with his ex father-in-law. LOL) and (drum roll, please) my niece and nephew!!! Yahoo!!! I love the little monsters.

Numa Numa - Our Fighting Men At Play

I'm sorry, but I simply must share this one. It's just too good to not pass on.

Stitching Habit Feeding Time

Well, I finished Elements/Rainbow a few weeks ago. I'll post a few pics of it. Now I have to finish Kwan Yin for Ami and Dan's baby. I figure the munchkin will get it for Yule. It'll be a good Turning of the Year present.

"She's a User, an Abuser..."

I have to laugh. My grandmother's friend just came over to talk to her.

The two of them used to go to Red Baron games every year. Mom and one of my cousins would get Grandma $50 ticket-books. Grandma would give them to *Mary* to turn them in for actual game seats. Mary would then come back and tell Grandma what days they were going. They would split the tickets that we bought for Grandma. Mary would always upgrade their seats a bit and tell Grandma how much it took to upgrade and Grandma would pay all of that. Mary would pick Grandma up for the games and pay the $2.00 parking fee. Then she and Grandma would leave around the sixth or seventh inning (Mary rarely wanted to stay for a full game) and they would drive to Mary's house close by, where Grandma would call Mom r one of her sibs to drive out there and pick Grandma up. Supposedly she has a problem with night driving. Of course, she leaves our neighbor's house after dark every Sunday she visits, which is nearly every Sunday...

So, for the price of $2.00, Mary used to get $50 plus worth of baseball games and didn't even have to drive her benefactor both ways.

Now, she's saying she hasn't gone to any games this year. Grandma has only gone to one and that was with Mom paying (July 4th for the fireworks mostly). Mary just told Grandma that if Mom had any extra tickets, to let her know so she could use it. The noive! I can't wait to tell Mom this one. Although, her blood pressure might go up high enough to explode. It did when she finally found out that our Christmas gifts to Grandma were paying for Mary's games. Maybe it would be better if I didn't say anything.

By the way, this is the friend whose beliefs about early popes not being married I simply had to refute. She actually believed that celibacy had been a requirement for priests since the very beginnings of the RC church. Given her age and generation I should have shut up, but the Historian in me wouldn't allow it. Besides, she was being so damned snarky/sanctimonious about it. She didn't stay long that night. Sorry, Grandma.

She didn't stay long tonight, either. Oh, well. I wonder if Grandma will insist on leaving the light on for her, when she makes sure she turns it off each night before Mom gets home...

World Cup is over for 2006

I finally watched a full World Cup game. I wanted France to win, but Italy played a damn good game. Actually, I wanted Germany to win since the USA was eliminated. Since Italy beat Germany I was ticked at them and happy that France had beaten Brazil. So I was rooting for France. How is that for circular logic?

What the hell was Zidane thinking - head-butting Materazzi like that? What a way to finish a great career, to not even be able to stand with your team to accept the second-place award on your last game ever. He had one hell of a goal, though. I didn't even think it went in at first.

LOL. One of the Italians just put an Italy funhat on the trophy. I don't think the players are ever going to let it go. The official handing out the trophy gave him a funny look and took the trophy away to actually give it.

I love soccer.

What Century Do We Live In?

Alright, any of my friends will tell you that I get up in arms over certain political issues: religious equality, gay rights, environmental issues and anything the Shrub does that I disagree with. Well, here are two that have gotten my goat lately.

Family Disowns Indian Prince For Being Gay

Honoring Sgt. Stewart: Wiccans are Americans Too

Isn't it silly that such things are even an issue these days? A man comes out of the closet to raise awareness for HIV/AIDS issues in India and his parents disown him? A soldier who gave his life fighting where his country told him to go cannot be buried with the same gesture of respect that his fellow soldiers can?

"Where is the love?"

Why? (A Long Grandma Update and Rant)

I have to wonder why we do this. Why do Mom and I subject ourselves to this mental abuse? We love Grandma, but it's getting harder and harder to deal with both her and the family's attitudes.

TAFH was in this weekend. She immediately turned off the air conditioner. She saw that Grandma had her sweater on (and shorts) and made like it was too cold in the house. It was 76 degrees. TAFH was cold, after all, and there's no reason for Grandma to wear a sweater if she's chilly. Never mind the fact that it's simply habit for the woman to pull the afghan over her when she's not even cold. Especially never mind the fact that when TAFH comes in and other time the thermostat MUST be set at 68. "Just put on a blanket, Mom." But it was too cold and we had to open the doors. She's a cheap little bitch. I apologize if any minors are reading this, but that's the nicest way I could put it. Grandma just backed her up and told me I was wrong when I stood up for Grandma. I was then chastised for not having read the owner's manual of Grandma's air conditioner.

That was just for starters. There was the strawberry-picking adventure, the Chinese take-out fiasco, the cutting remarks and the pure illogic of the woman. Coming back from Pallman's Farm, where we pick the strawberries, she had to pick up sugar and gelatin. We were going to pass right by Gerrity's and both Grandma and I were perfectly amenable to wait in the car for the few minutes it would take her to run into the store and get the stuff. We actually even agreed that it made more sense for us to do that. Of course that wouldn't fly. We had to drive right by Gerrity's, go home and unload the entire car, then TAFH went back to Gerrity's. *sigh* She'd make a terrible Vulcan.

The best was at the very end. Apparently, Mom and I chose the worst week for everybody else as our week to take our vacation, even though it was literally the only week we could take given our schedules. Oh, and two months notice isn't enough time for all of them to figure out who is going to take care of Grandma when. She actually told me that we don't have to schedule our lives around them, but that's what it sounded like to me. None of them ever ask us about whether or not their vacations, dates, book clubs, nights out with friends (What the hell are those anyway? Not friends, but nights out...) might be happening at a time inconvenient for us. They rarely (practically never) offer to help us with Grandma.

Aunt L comes over every Saturday, early in the morning to bring over some fruit that she picks up at Aldi's and check to see if there are any bills to be paid. She does this early enough that Grandma and I are still both asleep so she doesn't really visit with Grandma or give me any time to myself. Uncle B occasionally asks her over for dinner. Both of them will come over and watch her if we absolutely need them, but we're nearly always made to feel guilty for asking. Like tonight: B, the lady who watches Grandma during the day, told Mom this morning that she's off tomorrow because she doesn't work holidays. This is news to us, by the way. No one ever mentioned this. I had to call Aunt L and she was quite grudging about it. I can't afford to lose a day's pay. Neither can Mom. Aunt L's a teacher. I'm sorry if she had plans, but this is for her damned mother!

And then there's TAFH. This charming woman does give us time off when she's in, but is it really worth having one night out every month or so, to have to put up with a near-constant stream of negativity and belittling? If she doesn't have something to complain about, she's not happy. I swear the woman is pure poison. I'd say she's clueless, but I think she knows precisely what she says and takes pleasure in the fact that at least one of us (me) can't say "boo" to her, no matter what she says. I deserved a medal for my silence in the Chinese take-out fiasco.

I was going to order salads for Grandma and I before TAFH got home. She didn't want salads. She preferred Chinese. Grandma doesn't really like Chinese, but she agreed to get it anyway. TAFH, of course, had to tell me that Mom and I were wrong about the spring rolls. They apparently "don't have just a little bit of wheat, they have a lot." Fine, we were wrong. We've never had a problem with them, so we'll look out for them from now on. She was a snot about it, though. Then the air conditioner thing happened and I retreated upstairs. When the food finally arrived, she wanted me to give her ten dollars to pay the delivery guy. I told her I'd put it on the credit card. She apparently thought I was saying that I would put it on the card. I kept repeating that I put it on the card, but once something gets in her head, she's unstoppable. She only stopped paying the dude when I asked her to make sure my card wasn't charged. Of course, as we were unloading the food she had to give me a grammar lesson and tell me I spoke unclearly and was wrong. Hello, this is the woman who is such a bad writer she can't get published on her own. She's a professor going for tenure, so publication's a big thing. I am the one that has had articles printed under my byline in a newspaper. Granted, it was local paper and small, but I was still published, paid and asked to write an article for them. I was editor of a college 'zine. I was copy editor at my college newspaper. I think I know something about grammar and proper usage of language. Snide, pompous pain in the arse.

Oy! Toss in my father's side of the family and we have the true dysfunctional American family.