Wednesday, December 03, 2008

laptop woes

The power port on my laptop is officially dead.  It simply won't charge.  So I'm using Mom's stinky computer until I can send it away to be repaired. I found a place that will repair it with a lifetime warranty for $125.  I'm thinking this is a good deal. Now to scrounge up $125 right before Christmas?  Yeah, right.  I think my secondary goal for NaNo might have to be pushed back until after the new year, since all my work is on the computer that won't even boot up.  At least I was able to download some songs onto my nephew's new iPod before it died.  He'll be able to listen to it for Christmas.

Friday, November 21, 2008

recovery

We're not getting as much done on the house as I thought we would.  Neither of us has the drive to stick around the house.  It's going to take a while to get to the point where we're not waiting for the other shoe to drop.  That's what it's felt like living here for the last few years, as if something bad was always about to happen. 

We found the will in the most unlikely of places.  After tearing apart any logical place (what were we thinking?) we had pretty much given up on finding the will.  Mom cleaned Grandma's clothing out of the upstairs closet and then ignored the closet becuase as far as we knew, everything on the shelf above was TAFH's, grandpa's flag and some games.  Well. the other day after I tore apart a few illogical places, I happened to look up at just the right angle and saw a tan security box on the shelf.  I figured it couldn't hurt to look, so I got it down and opened it.  It was unlocked and had the keys in the pouch they came in inside! 

This was actually a good thing because the will was in there as well as Grandma's and Grandpa's birth certificates, the deed for the house when it was sold to HER parents and some little bits of paperwork from Grandpa's funeral.  The funniest thing was that the majority of the important paperwork was downstairs in non-fire-proof boxes.  Oh, and the fact that the keys were inside it unlocked.  Nobody even knew she had this box.  I wonder when she bought it.  Actually, my oldest aunt never even knew about the will, though it had been drawn up in 1970.  She didn't know she was the executrix (now they're called administrators) of Grandma's estate.  You'd think Grandma would have told her when she drew it up, wouldn't you?

Anyway, we're cleaning the house and separating her stuff from ours.  Anything of hers that we think is still good or anyone would like we're putting in the front room to be looked at by the relatives later.  We've brought a bunch of bags of clothing to the Salvation Army, the ARC and St. Francis of Assissi.  We gave Aunt L the canned goods that we can't eat for Feed-A-Friend. 

We've already taken down the bathroom "decorations" TAFH made for Grandma and have redone it in greens.  UGH!  Blue and pink.  *shudder*  I've hated that color scheme for years and the dark/light green that's in there now brightens and lightens the room up considerably.  We replaced the heavy curtain with sheers and now light can actually get into the bathroom.  Mom wants to repaint the room to cover the faux marble finish on the paneled walls.

We defrosted the freezer yesterday and put our Thanksgiving turkey in it, then tackled the rest of the pantry.  It's not done, but we cleared out a bunch of stuff and put it in the front room.  Also we cleaned out the mouse droppings from the shelved area.  Grandma wouldn't let us move anything to clean behind there and our house has always been mouse central.  Some of the stuff we just had to throw out, they were covered.  We're probably very lucky the AAA never saw the pantry.

Anyway, we still have the majority of the upstairs to do.  Tomorrow will be a wasted day, so we need to get as much done today as possible.  Unfortunately, we're just getting up and at'em right now.  I read earlier and have been playing on the internet.  We have to go to the store for more garbage bags and to return a video rental, so after that I imagine we'll be going cleaning nuts.  Oh, we have to clean out the little bedroom to bring the bed back upstairs.  I think I'll do that while Mom tackles the rest of the pantry.  Yuck.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Funeral and now

The funeral was beautiful, as much as one of them can be, anyway.  My cousin A sang at the funeral and at the chapel in Cathedral.  She was great.  My brother, a few cousins and uncles were the pallbearers.  Two of my cousins and I did the offerings and my brother and cousins J and K did readings.  Cousin B gave the eulogy.  They all did great.  My uncle played guitar for A when she sang Danny Boy and Carolina Moon at the chapel.  Then we went to the grave and I, of course, wanted to clean off Grandpa's.  But I had to stop.  I did help clean off my aunt and uncle's when we went to it with their children.  I always do.

Stirna's was, of course, where we held the after-funeral brunch.  It's where everyone holds them in North Scranton!  Mrs. Gavin is really cool.  She made sure the food was all GF (except for the lovely pastries and rolls, which I didn't touch).

Now the fun part is cleaning the house, sorting Grandma's things from ours and letting everybody make off with what they want to keep of hers.  I'm currently making a calendar I intend to follow to get all of the cleaning done by Thanksgiving, which is when all the horse-trading is supposed to take place and still TRY to get NaNo and my required stitching done.

The weirdest thing of all was that last weekend there were FOUR deaths among my co-workers.  One of my closer friends there lost his grandmother, as well.  A cashier and one of the pharmacy ladies also lost relatives.  Weird.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Viewing

It's over.  I still and will always hate viewings.  I find them to be pointless and insane.  smiled and nodded and hugged and thank-you'd everyone who came.  I DO appreciate the fact that they came to support us.  I just wish there was another way to do it.  Thankfully, I actually knew a good majority of the people that showed and could laugh with a lot of them.  One of the co-workers that drives me absolutely batty came.  I'm not really surprised, actually.  She can be amazingly sweet at times.  It's the other 90% of the time I want to murder her.  Today, it was sweet.

I had to make a break for the statue a few times.  I let myself leave the funeral parlor on the hour, each hour so I could just sit, talk to Her and breathe for a few minutes.  I'm very pleased with myself and how I held up.  The only time I teared up was when I was talking with one of my cousins about how much I hated doing viewings.  Then I sucked it up and went over to greet more relatives like a big girl (with a masochistic streak). 

The worst part was not having anything to do with my hands.  I kept clenching them.  Even if I could have had some crochet or something non-patterned I would have been fine.  *snort*  I'm telling you, this stupid viewing is Grandma's last revenge on me and my ADD.  She's laughing her ass off in heaven (or the other place) and pointing down at me right now.  She damn well better be saying she's proud of me for not having just made a complete break for it and being pretty much entirely sociable, even when I was so jittery my hands were shaking apart.  ;p

So, tomorrow I get to be at the church at 8:30 am.  Mass is at 9:30 and brunch at Stirna's (where else?) is around 11 am.  Getting there.  By 1 pm or so, this should all be over with and I can go home, relax, do laundry and psych myself up for work on Tuesday at the "bright and shining" hour of 4 am.

On a writing positive note, everyone commented on the obit I wrote.  They all loved it.  Oh, and I finished the map for my NaNo this morning before the viewing and have decided my characters are not going to escape the city, they're going to burn down the temple and lead a revolution instead.  Sira's going to have fun getting all flamey when she fights the other dragon.

Pre-Viewing

The viewing starts in a few hours, two and a half to be exact, but apparently I have to be at Knight-O'Donnell by 3:30.  So I have one hour and forty-five minutes to somehow make myself ready to greet mourners for four hours.  I can't bring any stitching, of course.  Mom's already said she'll kill me if I do.  I wonder if a small notebook to work on NaNo will work.  Everybody says it'll go fast.  Maybe for someone who doesn't have a near phobia of the damn places in the first place.  I can't wait for this hell to begin, let me tell you.

In the meantime, I'm listening to Pandora and trying to do a little retconning for my NaNo.  Oh, and trying to avoid the really good-looking hoagies my cousin brought over for us.  Damned Celiac Disease!

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Funeral planning 3

How does one get through funeral planning without adding a body to the hole being dug for the deceased?  Any hints?

Funeral planning 2

Not doing the pallbearing thing.  Mom needs me with her.  Will deal with that later.

Funeral planning

Grandma, Mom and her other sisters had done a lot of end-of-life planning before this, so a lot of the stuff a person generally has to do has already been done.  The casket and that type of stuff was already taken care of.  However, things like the music and flowers are things we've needed to do. 

It's so strange.  I am both sad and happy at the same time.  I'm just not sure if it's selfish happiness as in, "Wahoo!  I don't have to be a caregiver anymore" or "She's with Grandpa finally and at peace."  I think it might be a little of both actually.

Anyway, I'm going to be a pallbearer.  I've requested it.  I NEED to do it.  It's the last thing I can do for her.  Hah!  The females in the family who have heard the plan so far are pretty much acting like, "Okay, whatever."  The guys have, if not questioned it, then at least noted the uniqueness of the idea.  I looked up a few things on pallbearing, specifically female pallbearers and I see it's not an old idea at all.  Apparently nuns do it all the time and there was a lady back in the 40's whose friend did it because guys never took her out when she was alive and she didn't want them taking her out when she was dead!  Mom and TAFH want my oldest female cousin to do it, as well, if she can.  This would mean all of the grandchildren are playing an active role in the funeral.

Well, the aunts and my uncle are coming over at 9am to plan the rest of whatever else has to happen.  I'm going to go to Borders around 1pm for the NaNo write-in.  Even if I don't get much accomplished, I need to get away from funeral planning for a while.  Maybe I'll look for a more somber outfit to wear at the funeral while I'm out.  All of my skirts are pretty brightly colored.

Friday, November 07, 2008

RIP Grandma

This morning my mother got a phone call from the nursing home.  Grandma is dead.  She passed away between 1:30 and 3 am.  She looked like she was asleep and a hell of a lot more peaceful than she has for years.  This is what we wanted for her, to just fall asleep and not be in pain anymore.  Mom's pretty sure she stuck around just long enough to vote in one last election because she really couldn't stand McCain.

RIP Grandma.  Say "hi" to Grandpa for me.  I love you.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

6506!

Well, I can't get onto the website, so I'll post my first totals here for now.
November 1st - 6506 words

When I can get on the webpage, I'll actually update it, but for now I'll just post them here.  I'm not going to spend all day and night obsessed with it.

Cheers and I'm off to write until about 5pm, then I'll switch over to stitching.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

NaNo Yay! and stitching.

It's November 1st and I've already written almost 4000 words. Not to jinx myself, but this story is flowing so far.

I'll try to write 8000-10000 words today, if possible, then take off tomorrow to stitch on the Mermaid. Then I'll try to OD on words again on Monday and stitch on Tuesday or Wednesday. Basically, I'll just try to write as much as possible for one or two days, then take off a day of writing for stitching.

Hopefully this works.

Oh, Mom and the others are going to talk to Grandma about what she wants: to keep fighting or to just give up. She's on the giving up side of the coin right now, I think. If she wants to, they'll let her and not argue about her eating or therapy and such. She's lost 12 pounds in the last three weeks. This is not healthy.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

NaNoWriMo

Well, it's official. I'll be doing the NaNoWriMo. Kim, Andrew, Megan and I went to the Kick-Off party today. I even signed a "contract". Oh, and I ended up with a free pen with green ink! I'm blending two of my story ideas together. They seem to have sprung from the same universe but at different times. So, the Rescue story will be the beginning and the Cats story will be the end. I just have to get from one to the other in a somewhat logical fashion.

I've decided that I'm going to split my time up very carefully to ensure that I get my stitching and the writing done. I wish the NaNo was happening in a different month, actually. I have two large projects to finish and whatever ornaments Mom finally decides we're going to make. Yes, she is still undecided. *sigh* I will likely not be playing on the computer very often and my Mirabilia will not be worked on at all. So wish me luck while I play least in sight. If the Gods are generous I'll end up with the Chameleon and Mermaids finished and a book ready to be edited into a decent piece of fantasy literature.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

***Fuming***

Some asshole told Grandma there was no hope of coming out of the Rehab facility.  If it was a real person and not her own fears talking and I find out who they are I will simply and utterly destroy them.  Now she doesn't want to eat or do her exercises.  She just wants to give up altogether.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Mom and I have a bad feeling it was my uncle.  He apparently has told TAFH (who is decidedly less Hellish these days but for the sake of consistency she will remain so named) that he doesn't want Grandma to go home.  What is it to him, really?  He wasn't her caregiver.  He barely comes over here.  Jerk.  He supposedly is thinking about Mom and I and how difficult it'll be to care for a much less self-sufficient Grandma, but does he really think he has ANY right to unilaterally make that decision for her and US?  No.  If it was him that planted that poisonous thought in her brain ...  ARGH!  He's her damned son and he should be encouraging her, not tearing her down.

Is it really illegal to kill people?  I could do it in a truly amusing way.  Honestly, I'm creative.  He (or whomever the jerkwad is) could mysteriously slip into a vat of chocolate at Gertrude Hawk's and for some strange reason be pushed under each time he came up for air.  Or how about death by music?  He could be tied to a chair, no, let's make him comfortable, his bed and be forced to listen to Britney Spears music for hours until he goes completely mad.  When released the poor creature would jump out of a twenty story building, plummetting to his death.  Or a really cool bounce, although I'm sure there would still be broken bones.

I'd be amused, anyway.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Long time no post

Wow, it's been over a month since I've posted. A lot has happened, actually.

Grandma broke her hip two weeks ago. She fell in the house going to the bathroom. Unfortunately, her kidney levels were too low for the surgeons to replace her hip right away, so she had to wait for a few days. They finally replaced it and thankfully, only had to do a partial replacement. The socket is still good, it was just the ball they had to replace. However, the day after? her surgery she had a stroke which affected her right side. That is, of course, the side she had to have replaced. Now she doesn't have to rebound from the surgery alone, she has to rebound from both stroke and surgery. She's doing alright, actually. Not well, but not terrible either. She's moving her right arm and starting to talk better. Her leg is moving but not a lot. If we can just get her to the point where she can use the walker she can come home. If she ends up confined to a wheelchair, I just see no way we can actually take care of her.

I've been the evil granddaughter and not visited her much. I'm leaving that to Mom, the aunts and my uncle. Their kids haven't gone out of their ways to visit, so I refuse to feel (too) guilty. I'm going to see her today, though. Then I'm going to a birthday party for one of my co-workers' kids. He's an absolute doll. I got him a Pokemon starter set.

Mom, Kim and I went to the Biden-Clinton rally last Saturday. It was really cool. I've never head Bill Clinton speak in person. The man only spoke for about five minutes, but he really is one hell of a speaker. Mrs. Biden (I'm blanking on her first name) introduced him and she was pretty cool in her own right. Then he introduced Hillary, who has a vigorous fanbase in the area, if anybody didn't actually know that already. She introduced Biden after her talk. I voted for her mostly because of her emphasis on education. She is really stumping hard for Obama/Biden. I like that. A little unity in the party is a nice thing for a change.

Biden's speech was amazing. He pulled no punches but at the same time didn't trash McCain's politics, if that makes any sense. He made sure he emphasized that McCain's policies are practically identical to Bush's and that those policies directly contributed to our current crises. Of course, I was thinking about the fact that NAFTA was a Clinton thing, but that mysteriously wasn't mentioned. I wonder why? ;p

I liked the comment Bill Clinton made about Hillary Clinton. She has apparently made more appearances hyping Obama than ANY defeated Presidential candidate. So, in my opinion, it took a woman to show the men in the game what class really looks like. Hopefully, it's an example future defeated candidates will emulate.

Oh, and Mom and I went to the RenFaire the weekend before grandma fell. It was loads of fun, even though it was raining. Also, I got some really really really important data from the marriage licenses I requested held for me in Philly. I found my great-great grandfather's name and my great-great grandmother's maiden name!!!!! How awesome is that? One chink in that family's brick wall, especially since the license indicated that both had been born in the USA which should lead me to more info in the Censuses, hopefully.

I know there's more I'm forgetting about, but that's it for now.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Monday, September 01, 2008

Dragon*Con Monday

I'm home now and already wishing I was back there. Grandma pretty much told me to go away immediately.

Anyway, here's what happened this morning. We got to the con in time for Kim to do her panel and me to get to the Dragon*Con store for a few things. I also managed to get Susan Kearney's autograph before catching the train to the airport.

When I got to the airport there was a problem. The kiosk kept telling me I had no reservation. So, I got in line and warned Kim to meet me when she got there. She did, literally just as I was talking to the counter agent. Apparently, when the trip was changed about it negated my ability to use the kiosks. I do not recall Expedia warning me of this in their emails to me. Also, the flight WAS the later one. We did get through and everything was fine. The flight was just great. I dozed a little and stitched and read some. I finished Susan Kearney's book I'd won.

Now I just have to finish cleaning my room and tomorrow the Dish Network will be installed.

I talked to Mom about me going next year and she's not quite enthusiastic, to say the least. I think I can convince her, but it'll take a little while, I think. Yes, I realize how pathetic it sounds for a 32 year old woman to need her mother's permission to take a trip like this, but I need to consider Grandma's needs above all. I'll be getting two weeks vacation next year, so I can spend one with her and the kids and one there.

I really need to do this, I think. For my own sanity. I was surrounded by people who made me feel normal, not like a freak.

Dragon*Con Sunday

Today I woke up on time and woke Kim. The guy woke up, thanked us and left. I dressed and took off, getting to the convention in plenty of time to eat a nice breakfast at the diner in the Peachtree Center. Metro Cafe or something to that effect. It has really good omelets.

Then I went to my first panel, Other Worlds, Other Times. It was basically about world-building in SF/F Romance. Before it started I talked to Susan Sizemore about some books we had in common (tastewise). I also let her know when John Scalzi's reading was going to be, so she could go. She had been squeeing over him on Saturday. When we were talking about some of the earlier SF/F Romance writers I mentioned Anne Avery and Sandra Hill told us why she doesn't write anymore. Apparently, when the previous paranormal bubble burst, noone would buy her books. That's a pity since I really liked hers. Anyway, she and CL Wilson signed Creature, both seeming quite delighted. Oh, and I won a Susan Kearney book I don't have yet!

Second panel, Let's Hear It For the Boys. I walked over to the Marriott for another YA panel with Tammy. She's going to think I was stalking her, when I swear I wasn't. I could have gone to EVERY panel and session she had but I didn't. I just went to the interesting ones. This one was, obviously, about boy lit. Boy lit being, in my opinion, anything that will make a boy read. The panel each had slightly differing views of boy lit. We ended up in a discussion about covers and their effect on whether or not a boy wil pick up a book or even be scared away from the YA section thanks to the current overdose of Barbie pink covers. Also, the point was brought up that clerks, not necessarily librarians are conditioned to bring boys to the SF/F section of the store and girls to the YA section. I countered with the fact that I went straight from Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys to SF/F and found my way BACK to YA basically as an adult. I left with an offer by one of the panelists to put my mystery plot on her stumpers board to try to figure it out for me.

Third panel, Dark Secrets, Shadowed Hearts. This time we were putting alpha males on the chopping block. The consensus of the panle was that an alpha male, broody dark hero and an insufferable jerk are different in that there's good reason for what an alpha does. Personally, I disagree with them to a point. Rape is rape no matter what. Abuse is still abuse even if Joe Hero has a tortured past that gives his behavior an explanation. Hence the reason I don't read Christine Feehan's Carpathians anymore. She crossed the line and her so-called heroes are in the insufferable jerk side of the equation now.

Fourth panel, rather than dodging people and standing in line to get to the Don S. Davis tribute, I decided to stay in the room I was in and listen to the Love Bites, Love Bleeds panel about vamps and weres and such in paranormal romance. I now have new authors to try and Lori Handeland is coming out with an urban fantasy that sounds intriguing. I also got her autograph on Creature. Amusement and the idea that it's a good idea seems to be the overwhelming reaction to seeing my poster. I love it.

I hit the Dealer's room and got those poetry books. I bought all six of them since I couldn't decide. Oh, and I found a sterling claddagh to replace my other. I also got a card of someone who might have Greg Pak's 1602.

Fifth panel, A Bloody, Burning Painful Death Is Coming For You! Just what it says. This one was Dr. Cmar talking about things like Dengue Hemhorragic Fever and the plague. He actually managed to find pictures of people with them and I was just fine except for a few pictures. Most of those were of kids dying of them (none survived) and the other was an eye that had literally deflated. Apparently the docs were able to re-inflate it and the patient kept much of his vision. Cool, huh? I asked him my two questions about the 1918 epidemic and our preparedness level and the plant he was talking about in the first lecture. I didn't sound stupid! He seemed pleased by the questions. Yay me!

Sixth panel, Messengers From the Gods. This one was about comets and their historical effect on humans! How cool is that? I've actually been looking for data on comet sightings and their cultural effect and here's a panel on it. I even was able to supply an answer whent he lecturer forgot the name of the Bayeux Tapestry. Of course, I stupidly raised my hand when he asked if anyone had seen a meteorite, but I still felt good about the fact that now I have a lead to do research for my NaNoWriMo.

I ate something after that and checked on the flights, then went back to the hotel. I don't think I can squeeze in any time at the con tomorrow (technically today since it's 1am). I'm all packed but for my sleep clothes, the computer, iPod and a notebook. The computer will be going away as soon as I shut it down, as will the notebook. The iPod and clothes, well, I kind of need them until tomorrow morning. I might get off at Peachtree and wander briefly over the to the Dragon*Con store. I'd kind of like to get that book Jean Marie Ward's been plugging. I'm just as happy getting it online, though, so maybe just to the airport while Kim does her last panel. I'll see. Right now I must go to bed. My eyes are closing on me. It's a good thing I'm going to run a spell-check on this before I actually post it. I'm cringing at the thought of the mistakes I missed while typing.

I really want to keep going to Dragon*Con. I wonder if there's a way I can swing it each year, even if I go alone.

Dragon*Con Saturday

I woke up late Saturday and still had to walk up to Wal*Mart to get a few essentials. I woke Kim up and told her about the late-bus thing then I walked up to Wal*Mart and got a bunch of fruit to eat during the day as well as a calling card to top up my phone. I caught the bus and we sort of went right by Kim standing at the other stop for the other bus. Oops.

So, I got to the con just in time to catch the tail end of the parade. I saw the pirate ship, the Klingon Biker Chicks, the Star Trek people, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Dark-Hunters and the Star Wars people. So, of course, riding high on the euphoria of seeing Sherri and Ash as well as cardboard box Star Wars characters, I realized I'd lost my badge. I hurriedly pushed my way through the crowd, retracing my steps to where I'd had it last. It was gone. Completely gone, as in $90 right down the proverbial drain. Rather than panic, I made my way to the info booth in the Hyatt. The gentleman there was sympathetic when he told me I'd have to buy another one. My heart thudded right around my feet at that point. He then told me to try security first to see if anyone had turned it in.

I held on to some hope, as everyone at the con had so far been extremely nice and it seemed like a decent crowd of people. However, the silly thing was a four-day pass. Anyone on the street could save themselves $90 just by keeping it. So, I got to security and much to my delight, I had lost it about fifteen minutes before and someone had JUST turned it in. The lady said this was the fastest one had been picked up that she could recall and gave me some duct tape to secure it to the clip better. I did so immediately, thinking, please let me get to Robert Englund in time!

So, first panel, Robert Englund. Is it only nice guys that can play horror roles? Oh, by the way, Kenneth Johnson just sent him something about V: The Next Generation. Yay!!!!! And I have to pick up his Phantom. It sounds bone-chillingly awesome.

Second panel, Susan Sizemore. Snarky, funny and smart. I like this woman. She mentioned that at some point she might out the Primes and this could be lots of fun. Who knows? She signed Creature and was totally impressed with James Hong's signature on it.

Third panel, Tammy. It was an hour with Tammy and since Sherri was in the room next I figured I could just sit comfy through two of my favorite authors. Tammy talked about some of her characters and herself. She was asked who her favorite character was and she had to pick two: Kel and Tris! Yes, my favorites. Oh, and she talked about the fact that Kel's squire is going to be one of the girls from the book Squire who asked her about being a knight. Of course, this will be a few years off since she has other books she has to write first. I can be patient, especially since I really like Beka Cooper. A few of the people got up and told her how much her books had supported them through really bad school experiences and it choked her up. She said something to the effect that it was the highest praise anyone could give her and she always appreciated hearing it.

Fourth panel, Sherri. Oh, wait, not Sherri because they kicked us out of the damned room and would have made us go to the end of the line even though we had technnically been there at least an hour longer than anyone in line. So, I went to the Magic and Religion in SF/Fantasy panel instead. It was interesting. Nothing spectacular, but not boring either. I did get really hungry in it and started eating my plums, carefully and as quietly as I could.

After I ate, I went to the fifth panel, Gay Themes in the Dr. Whoniverse. Given that I can't really remember the original series very much, I was lost until they talked about Dr. Who and Sarah Jane. Torchwood I'll be getting as soon as we get Dish, but I still have to catch up on the past seasons. Just from his appearances on Dr. Who, I know Jack will do just about anything that is even remotely alive. The panelists and audience seemed to agree that in the past nothing was overtly gay and on rare occasions a tad homophobic, but that the new seasons are much better. I have to admit, I never really latched onto any gay themes in the shows although the one panelist swears Maria is a "budding lesbian" and Sarah Jane is her first girl-crush. Okay.

Sixth panel, Eureka! A panel about the show and unfortunately, Kevin Grazier has worked in the government sector too long and is REALLY good at keeping secrets. He gave NO spoilers, the rat, but he did sign Creature for me. He seemed to get a kick out of it.

Seventh panel, Alternative Sexuality in YA Literature. I hit a lot more book panels than I thought I would. I figured I'd be going Star Trek mad and I never got to one of them. Anyway, the theme is clear from the title and we spent most of the time swapping names of books and authors we thought had decent parts or treatment of GLBTs. I plugged Misty and Tammy. One woman really disagreed about Misty and I can see her point. She points Van through hell. He even gets raped in one of the books. Not that that had anything to do with his sexuality, he was simply convenient to a bunch of raiders at the time. If it had been a female Herald, she'd have been raped too, but she does use the "he's gay, so his father treats him like crap" plot device. Other gays she gets to treat better, but maybe that's because none of them are the ultimate hero and heroine. Firesong is a snippy little bastard in the beginning, but that's because of his inherent magical abilites. He grows up. Anyway, one lady was actually able to remember the name of one of the books I remember the plot of but nothing else! Choosing Time, possibly by Octavia Butler. I'll be checking it out as soon as I get home and finish cleaning my room for the dish installation.

I went back to the hotel after that and fell asleep after listing the panels I wanted to see Sunday and Monday (about 1am!). Kim got there about 3:30 with a friend who needed to crash for the night since he'd had a wee too much to drink to make it as far as he lives. We have a couch in the room. And I've already forgotten his name. Nice guy.

Oh, and just for the fun of it, the entire weekend I was surrounded by seas of orange from the Clemson fans. Apparently, they were losing, badly, on the way back to the hotel.

Dragon*Con Friday

Friday Kim and I left Scranton very early in the morning. Basically, I left the house just ten or fifteen minutes after I would have for work. Ugh! The first day of my vacation and I still had to get up at three in the damned morning. Oh, well. After all my lists and redoing the lists, I forgot something. Thankfully, we'd only gotten a few blocks and were able to turn around easily enough. I really did need the credit cards I'd tucked away so I couldn't touch them until Dragon*Con, though. I guess I did too good a job of dismissing them from temptation.

The flights were easy enough, no drama: Avoca to Cinncinnatti and Cinncinnatti to Atlanta. Since we carried all our bags on, we had no luggage to check and retrieve. No muss, no fuss. Same with getting the train to the convention. We paid for our Breeze 4-day pass and got on the northbound train. Did you know that there's an escalator in the Peachtree Center that is just plain huge? I asked one of the Marta workers and he thinks it's about 120 feet long. I have a picture of it from both ends. Wow! Anyway, we got our badges after getting turned around a bit, and then I went to check us in at the hotel.

Okay, Kim must have packed anvils, because her suitcase weighed a friggin' ton even after she took things out she thought she'd need. So, I went back down the escalator and was told by a Marta gentleman to get off at the Civic Center exit on the Northbound train. Um, no. Not quite. I got off there and realized the bus I needed was not there. So, I asked another gentleman and he said I was actually needing the Midtown station, one back along the rail. Alright. This time I was at the right place. A lovely young woman saw me looking at the map trying to confirm my spot and volunteered the information I needed. We ended up on the same bus and she and I had a conversation the whole way. She told me exactly where to get off and how to walk to get to the Days' Inn.

Checked in and of course, we have a problem. First, the door was being painted so I thought it was a utility room and walked around the building, up a funky flight of stairs to a grassy area and thought I was going completely nuts because I couldn't find the damned room! Went back around and asked the maintenance guy about it and realized it was my room. He was done, so he left and I settled in a bit. The wireless doesn't work. However, according to the clerk I can use the lobby's wireless. Wa-hoo! "Yeah, Kim'll love this", I thought.

So, back to the con. I found Kim's booth and there was a brief panic when I thought I'd have to give up my panels to attend it. I really didn't want to give them up. I guess everything worked out, because I was safe from Girl-Wonder duty all weekend, although I did hype it to some people so I wouldn't feel bad. Well, actually I didn't really feel bad anyway, because I wasn't here to hawk a podcast, I was here to attend panels and stalk people for autographs.

So, first panel, Brad Dourif. For all the creepy, fucked-up characters he plays, he is a genuinely NICE guy. I may not like the Chucky movies but he has a true affection for them. It was interesting to to hear some of the stories he had. He really loved the work he did on LOTR. Too bad I never watched them closely enough to notice him. Of course, his work on X-Files really left him with good memories, too.

I intended to go to the Stargate panel next but quailed when I saw the line looping and wrapping back in on itself, so I ate, then hit the Dealer's Room and Walk of Fame instead. At the Dealer's room I found I poet of really awesome dark and twisted poetry. I promised to go back when I decided which book I wanted. More on that later. I did, however, buy a new signature poster. I found a Creature From the Black Lagoon reproduced movie poster, not just a reproduced lobby card! It's 11x17 and I tagged their business card so I can see if they carry Abbott & Costello, The Giant Gila Monster and Court Jester. I also got a little baseball card-sized cartoon of the Creature. It's really cool.

At the Walk of Fame I got (paid for) autographs by Mickey Dolenz, David Prowse, Robert Englund, Brad Dourif, Matthew Lewis and James Hong. I wanted Adam West, but $50 an autograph was a tad more than even I could justify. Peter Mayhew was very tempting but I wanted the others first. Let me list my impressions of the guys.
Mickey Dolenz: a tad spaced out, but nice.
David Prowse: more bemused by the whole thing, especially when I placed a Creature poster in front of him. He reminded me he had nothing to do with it. I told him I knew that, but I liked having all my signatures on one thing rather than millions of photos to keep track of. He did sign it with "David Prowse, Darth Vader".
Robert Englund: another total sweetie. I had to bring up the fact that I loved him as Willie. When I showed him the poster he reacted great. Apparently, he's always liked it and he even acted with Julia Adams in a movie and the actor who played the scientist was his teacher! What an amazing coincidence. It was just awesome.
Brad Dourif: again, really nice. When I showed him the poster he agreed that it was an awesome movie.
Matthew Lewis: I told him I couldn't wait till the the last movies so Neville could kick ass and he totally agreed with me, of course. His reaction to Creature was that he'd never seen it before. I, of course, told him he absolutely had to and he said he'd look for it. I hope he does. He was neat, even when being embarrassed by another one of his fans who was there.
James Hong: LOL. He played along that he had been in Creature in the make-up. It was cool.

Second panel, Emerging Infectious Horrors! Alright, with a title like that, I had to go to it. The panelist, Dr. Cmar, works at Johns Hopkins with, you guessed it, infectious diseases. He talked about diseases that the medical world considers current major threats, like the flu and measles. It was interesting, although I chickened out on asking a question because all the others were bringing up medical terms I could JUST decipher. I felt like an absolute stooge in there a few times. His panel on Sunday is A Bloody, Burning Painful Death Is Coming For You! Yes, I will be attending that one.

Third panel, She-Roes. Tammy and strong female characters in books, need I say more? Actually, it was a well-rounded panel with lots of opinions from them and from us. Kim and I both went to this one. The only one we attended together, actually. After that, I went back to the hotel. Had a bit of an adventure when I realized the two buses I KNEW I could take stopped at 10 and 10:30 and it was past 11. Thankfully the bus driver asked me what I was waiting for, else I would have had another hour to wait. I got back to the hotel along with another convention guest who knew just the way to go and crashed.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Women don't actually need any rights, right?

Well, the Shrub's done it again. This time his assault on womens' reproductive rights is a White House Rule through the Health and Human Services department that is meant to "protect the moral and religious objections" of medical workers who object to abortions or sterilization. The major problem is that the wording is so vague it could end up being applied to simple birth control - among other things. Of course, my feeling is that if a doc or even the person sterilizing the instruments (protected under this proposed rule) has such a strong objection to what they're expected to do in their daily jobs, they should be looking for another one, not expecting me to curtail my rights to please theirs to be an ass.

Here's a link to an Adobe Acrobat pdf of the whole rule: http://www.hhs.gov/news/press/2008pres/08/20080821reg.pdf

Read it and see if you have a problem with it. If so, contact the White House before September 25, which is the deadline for public commentary. If you want to leave a comment at the main site, use this link: http://www.regulations.gov/search/index.jsp. Of course, I just tried finding the proposed rule using all the search criteria I could think of and didn't, so good luck that way.

There are plenty of online groups that are already circualting petitions like the NARAL, NOW, Planned Parenthood and MoveOn.org. However, a personal letter with specific insights from the proposed rule itself might be more effective.

Now, to read it more thoroughly and figure out what I'll be using for my letters, one to the editors of the Times and one to the Health and Human Services Department.

Ugh! Shall we all be barefoot and pregnant, ladies?
Mom just had to spoon-feed Grandma because she was refusing to eat. I don't know how much of this I can take. I asked Mom if it really was time to look at a nursing home and she said they'd not feed her, just insert a feeding tube, which Grandma has refused to have before. I think I'm reaching the end of my rope. I know she'd never let me spoon-feed her if I have to. She doesn't even speak to me if she can at all avoid it, but for the insults she hurls at my head.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Head hurts...

I really hate my head. I've been alternating between shooting pains behind my left eye to dizziness to just a plain headache all day. I took four pills to get through the workday and somehow managed to stay nice to everyone.

Migraines suck. And I've put up with the computer screen long enough to burn the discs I promised for a friend and I'm getting off. Need to do one more load of laundry then I'm going down for the count.

Wish grandma good luck at her doctor's appointment, everyone. She's going to need it with her health and behavior the last few days on top of this thyroid mass.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Stitching Olympics

I've been trying to keep my stitching and my real life separate, even by having a different blog for stitching, but lately they've entwined so much I can't.

I posted that Grandma hurt herself. She's not doing too hot. Wandering from room to room because she can't get comfortable and refusing to give any position a chance to relax. Well, she turns out to have degenerative disc disease (or some name like that) as well as a mass in her thyroid. They did an ultrasound Friday and she has an appointment with her doctor Wednesday to discuss the results. The Vicodin isn't doing much except make her loopy and crueler than usual. At times she's convinced she's really in the hospital and people are walking through the room. Mom's going to talk to her doc about a low-dose morphine patch.

Anyway, the stitching comes in because it is such a relief for me. Mom and others tell me I should make and sell my jewelry, but the stitching is so much more my art, you know? I'm going to show off what I've been doing lately.


This is a chameleon I'm making for my nephew. It's being stitched on Silkweaver's Jungle Fever, 32 count, with DMC threads. I've made slightly more progress on it since I took this picture on August 7th. If I finish page two of the pattern, I'll get the Silver medal and if I finish the whole thing before the Olympics are over, I'll get the Gold medal.

This is a mystery freebie from Papillon Creations, parts 1 through 8. I finished Part 8 around 1 this morning, hence getting my Bronze medal in my LJ community's Stitching Olympics.

And the bug is for myself. It's from The World of Cross-Stitching, a British magazine. It was supposed to have been done in shades of orange and red, but I like green bugs better, so I converted the colors and added beads and the peace sign to hang from the mirror. After I get back from Dragon*Con, I'll make it into a stretched canvas frame to hang in my room.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Shoot me now, please.

Okay, I'm ready to scream. About a week ago Grandma fell and hurt her back. This was right before my aunt's wedding. She's in pain, a lot of it. So, of course, she deals with this by walking from her bedroom to the living room to the bathroom to the living room to the bed again. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! She won't believe us that she'll recover better by staying still!

If I end up in jail tonight charged with murder, leave me there. I need the vacation.

Oh, and my aunt (not TAFH) has arranged with her best friend, Grandma's only reliable caregiver, to watch her new granddaughter instead of Grandma. Selfish fucking bitch. So, now we get to try Telespond and their idiotic boss and unrelaible caregivers again.

The wedding was really nice, though.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

What a waste of great DNA

Be proud of me. I managed not to hit someone today. On the bus ride home, I ended up talking to two of the more obnoxious of my fellow bus riders today plus an absolutely gorgeous male specimen whom I had briefly spoken to on the ride up to the mall. Well, when my little conversation with the three men was done I went back to perusing my new stitching magazine. Mr. Gorgeous turns to me and my heart went a little pit-a-pat. Then he opened his mouth and uttered these words: "I think Women's Lib has killed the American family."

Let me back this up and tell you how this started. I got on and was reading my magazine. I suddenly realized all three men were staring at me. I asked what was wrong. Obnoxious Rider #1, responded that they had been talking about sewing. I was reading a sewing magazine (sort of). So, I commented that he knew very well that if I'm not stitching on the bus, I'm reading about it. This is mostly accurate. Mr. Gorgeous then turned to me and said, "I'll bet Rumpelstiltskin was your favorite fairy tale." I scoffed at this and said I preferred stories where the princess ended up saving the prince, totally disregarding the fact that Rumpelstiltskin wasn't exactly about sewing, even if spinning is pretty much the most vital step of getting decent thread to use. There was a little more about women in sports and athletes of all genders and types doping, with a little segueway into David Beckham, but the conversation pretty much died a natural death.

I went back to my magazine. That's when Mr. Gorgeous proved that great genes do not necessarily make a great person. I kept my cool through the whole conversation, even when he brought in the Bible and God making women inferior, yadda yadda. I brought up some polyandrous and matriarchal societies in history that did well. He tried the religion card again and I told him I didn't believe in his and to drop any point he wanted to make that hinged on the religious. He then brought up divorce rates in America and I told him that divorces weren't necessarily bad, see the example of abused women getting out of bad relationships. Here's where the restraint came in, people.

Mr. Gorgeous says that women are abused because they mentally and emotionally abuse their men first and that when said "man" strikes back, he's accused of being in the wrong. Women want to be equal to men, but when they are abused they cry foul. So, basically, it's that old argument that women just ask to be abused.

I did agree with him that there are unhealthy relationships out there, but I did not agree with him that anyone deserves to be hit. In fact, I'm even the one that brought up the fact that there are abusive women out there. I brought up my uncle's relationship with his wife. He's completely whipped. They have scream fights, yes, and she's really in control of the relationship, to his detriment, in my opinion, but he does not strike her. He doesn't, as Mr. Gorgeous contends, get back at her for "abusing him first".

Then Mr. Gorgeous brought up "the mother of his child". Apparently, she talks trash about his deceased mother, who was a drug user. He says he's pushed her, but not hit her. She is apparently a nasty piece of work, so in his mind, she deserves this. My comment to that was that I'd just stay away from her as much as possible, interacting only in regards to the child. Personally, it sounds like he shouldn't be throwing any stones. Too much glass around.

Pity, he really is a gorgeous man: high cheekbones; shaved head; yummy, runner-fit body; creamy, cafe-au-lait skin. What a waste of great DNA.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

BBC Squee!

Okay, I am officially as happy as a clam. I just figured out (idiot) that I can download the first three Doctor Who seasons, Torchwood and Robin Hood on iTunes. Let's see, $26 as opposed to the dvd price of $80? Yes! I can finally watch Torchwood.

Down, girl, remember Dragon*Con. So, now I get to choose between the three. I can let myself have one of the seasons. I have a feeling it'll be Torchwood.

After that I'll download Dr. Horrible.

I love iTunes.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Colorado "Personhood" Amendment

As much as I would love to be back in Colorado right now, getting my degree, something is happening there that makes me just want to pull a "Hulk Smash!" I wonder how much of this Tancredo pushed for?

In November, Coloradans will vote on an amendment to the state constitution granting "personhood" to "any human being from the moment of fertilization." The ultimate goal being to stop any and all abortions and overturn Roe v. Wade.

Some of my problems with this proposal:
1. A zygote or embryo cannot live outside the womb. Until the third trimester a fetus cannot live outside the womb. Yes, there have been very rare cases of a twenty-week fetus surviving but as I said, they are very rare and most doctors and medical professionals consider the third trimester to be the viable stage. Even early third trimester, premature births need a lot of TLC to make it with reasonable health. My personal opinion is that until viability is reached, said fetus is not a person. Sorry to sound harsh.
2. If a miscarriage (medical term: spontaneous abortion) happens and some yahoo says the pregnant woman did something to cause it like drink or smoke, this could open her up for criminal negligence charges. Please, if she intended to keep the baby and deliver it, she'll already be torn up by the loss. Charging her afterward is like twisting the knife and pouring salt in the wound at the same time. Women are already being charged under child abuse laws if they drink alcohol or do drugs while pregnant, even if nothing bad happens to the child.
3. If there is a medically necessary procedure that will harm the fetus to save the mother, whose rights are paramount?
4. The old stand-by of rape and incest. What do you do? Using the much-to-often-repeated standard "It's not the child's fault" doesn't negate the irreparable harm a pregnancy carried to term could do to the real victim of such crimes, the woman. Again, until viability, not a child. Would this give the rapist a chance to say he demanded the "child" be born, thus compounding and extending his rape for at least nine months. What a power trip. This amendment would hand him the perfect weapon over his victim - one he could wield continuously for at least nine months. Maybe more. As if having to face him in trial isn't bad enough.
5. Who the hell gave some state or government the right to tell me what to do with my own body? Not me. My body, my choice. Stay the hell out of my uterus.
6. I also object to it because it can ultimately be used to halt vital stem cell research into diseases like Parkinson's and spinal cord injuries (to name the most famous). Now, I do think that if using adult stem cells could yield positive results, we should study that, as well. Whatever works the best.
7. What would happen in the case of in vitro fertilized eggs that haven't been implanted and are slated to be destroyed? Do they automatically have to be implanted and given a chance to develop into infants? Who has to carry or pay for them? Honestly, frozen eggs are enough of a pitfall, shall we add more to an already dodgy subject?
8. Do we really want to return (as if we've really left) to the back-alley, coat hanger abortion days? This would simply serve to drive women with no other option to it. Septicemia, bleeding out, permanent injury? Yeah, we really look forward to this type of thing again.

Dianne N. Irving says some interesting things about the proposed amendment, actually. Worth a read.
Also, read this .pdf by JAMA bout fetal pain.

*sigh* There is so much more that's wrong with this asinine attempt to control women's bodies and minds.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

*Fume*

A few days ago I posted the link to the Live Long and Marry auction site. I had been trying to figure out if I had time or money to do something for it and had pretty much decided "No". Well, yesterday I was mentioning it to Mom and she had a very annoying reaction to it. I had been thinking of making a GF care basket. Her comment was not to do one for that but for a "good cause" like for children. Well, this got my back up, so I've decided I will MAKE the time somehow to do it. Hey, I'll have my normal bus rides, the plane to and from Atlanta...

I'm going to be offering a set of stitched cards. Here's the link: 8 Cross-stitched cards

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Luna Lovegood!


Okay, I just have to pass on this picture of Luna Lovegood from Half-BloodPrince. I found it on The Leaky Cauldron site. I want those specs!


There are a lot of other pictures from the new movie. Check them out.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Not a Grandma day...

Grandma's sugar will not remain stable today. It's bottomed out at least twice. She's currently eating a tomato sandwich that she argued about with Mom. She says the tomatoes are choking her. She argued with Mom about drinking some juice and actually fought with her about the sandwich, saying it was poison.

Today is not a good day for her.

Lincoln ran away!


Well, Scranton has made the news again, this time with a mystery. AOL and other news services are passing on the story of our missing Lincoln monument. It was dedicated with much fanfare in 1909, was still present for part of the 20's and then just disappears. The current theory is that when Lake Lincoln was expanded, it was removed and the bust was either sold or put in storage somewhere.


Maybe with the increased coverage we'll find out what happened to it.


Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Live Long and Marry

Here's a link to a livejournal community that one of my favorite authors, Tamora Pierce, is offering some goodies for auction in. It's called Live Long and Marry. The community/fundraiser is for groups fighting the marriage amendment in California. Here is info from the site:

"What is this? Live Long And Marry is a fandom auction to benefit marriage equality. Bidding begins on July 1, 12:01 AM one minute after midnight Pacific Time, 2008, and closes on July 15, 12:01 AM one minute after midnight Pacific Time, 2008. Please do not bid until bidding opens.

What's the cause? The auction will raise money for the fight against the California initiative which will legally destroy existing same-sex marriages and ban any further ones. If the initiative passes, it will write discrimination into the state constitution, annull existing marriages, and make Mr. Sulu cry.

How can I help? You can bid on fanfic, original fic, vids, cookies, memorabilia, critique/betas, and much more! Or you can offer your skills and services as a writer, vidder, baker, knitter, or whatever else you'd like."

Obviously, the originator of the community is a Star Trek fan. As most Trekkies know, George Takei, our beloved Sulu, has finally been given the chance to marry the love of his life, Brad Altman. It constantly amazes me that people see no problem in denying other human beings basic rights. Let's fight this amendment in whatever state tries it but first, in California.

Right now I'm trying to figure out what I can stitch to offer for an auction.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

R.I.P. Don S. Davis

About six or seven years ago, I finally got into Stargate. One of my favorite characters is always going to be General Hammond. He was just stern enough to call SG1 (usually O'Neill) on the carpet and just mischievous enough to let SG1 get away with what they did.

I'm going to miss Don S. Davis. He died on June 29th of a massive heart attack. He will be missed.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Grandma is going down to TAFH's today. Thank the gods. She's been okay lately, but the idiot aunt of mine made sure she told Grandma before she left two weeks ago that she was coming down. So, Grandma's been asking every day, multiple times when we were leaving. ARGHH!! We had all agreed that Grandma wouldn't be told if she was going down, that it would be a surprise. So, of course my aunt the PhD can't remember this. *sigh*

I was going to go down with them, but when I got to work today and tried to clock in I realized I was four hours early. I'm going to get home after Mom and Grandma leave. Yeah, Mom's thrilled. I just hope it stops raining before I have to leave, because I'm going to be walking home.

I'm off tomorrow and closing Saturday. So, I'll be able to enjoy some of the block party and do mondo research at the library.

Now, if the caregiver could just get here, I may not be late after being four hours early. She's already half an hour late and was woken up by Mom's call fifteen minutes ago. She was supposed to be here at 6:30. I just hope she doesn't do the whole shower and major grooming thing. Just throw some clothes on and get here. I only have 25 minutes to catch the bus.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Highs!

Okay, these have been a good couple of days. Granted, Grandma is a bit pissy that she had to leave TAFH, but it's dealable. Of course, there is also the annoying fact that my oldest brother saw me both Saturday and Sunday and still didn't wish me Happy Birthday. *sigh* I guess I really didn't expect more.

The reasons these have been a good couple of days are:
1. Went out on Thursday night and saw Indiana Jones (loved it) then stayed out really late. We went to Poor Richards for karaoke night. I did not sing, having no desire to witness anyone's ears start bleeding.
2. Went out Saturday and watched Iron man for the third time. We saw the shield and analyzed possibilities for the next Marvel movies. I also managed to mail dad's father's Day card before I got my birthday card! Oh, and I bought Kingdom Come at Comics on the Green.
3. Today I got a birthday card from my little brother! I also got one from my dad, but to be honest I'm totally psyched about the card from L'il Bro.
4. Also, Grandma's starting to become a little more human. One day. This is a record. I just wish she'd stop closing the darned doors. We need the breeze in here.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

I'm watching TLC for some reason. The show I'm watching just featured my company. Thank the Gods, the aisles were neat.

Robins Away!

The robins are all gone. The last one flew away two days ago. It took her a bit to get started and she sort of flapped around the porch floor for a bit with Mama watching her. However, she finally flew from the edge of the porch to the hedge across the street. Mom and Grandma want to block off the ledges so birds can't nest there again. I figure we should let them nest. We can repaint the porch, after all. I'm outnumbered, though, so I imagine we'll be blocking it off soon. :(

Coffee Crazy!

Okay, let me get this straight. Dunkin' Donuts has pulled a Rachel Ray ad because Michelle Malkin and her crowd decided that the paisley scarf she was wearing for the shoot was really a keffiyeh and, as such, is wrong to put on television post 9-11. Give me a break. I would say that, for this sheer stupidity, Dunkin' Donuts has lost my custom, but I never went there anyway. Yeesh!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Birds Away!

I took some pictures of the robin chicks on my porch and boy, was Mama pissed! She even tried dive bombing me to get me to go away. Here they are, Mama and chicks (Isn't the speckling incredible?!):



Vain, Dead Relatives

Man, talk about vanity. I do the family genealogy. It's a lot of fun, even the various roadblocks some of my more idiotic ancestors toss in my way. Take this one, for example. One of the branches consisted of one large group of sisters living together in the 1930 Census, after both parents had died. They were all adults. Now, I had already gotten the 1900 and 1910 Censuses and used those dates for their birthdates. After finding the 1930 Census, I noticed there was something really off. Every single one of the females had knocked at least five years off their ages. One knocked off a whopping eight years of hers and her husband's ages. Argh! If I hadn't had the 1900 Census with all of them listed and using my keen powers of deduction (How could their parents plan to perfection what children they'd have and what genders in the next decade?) I'd have been just the teeniest bit confused. As it is, I'm just annoyed.

The only possible explanation other than vanity is if the census-taker asked a neighbor. I find myself hoping it was that, actually. Not that it matters.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

May I scream now, please?

The last couple of days have been really good; Grandma Days. Then there's today. She made it upstairs while I was watching national Treasure 2 and has now realized Mom has moved into "her" room. She's not happy. I went downstairs about fifteen minutes ago to make dinner and found her eating about 1/4 of the 8-inch, gluten-free cherry pie that we bought on Sunday that still has to be cooked!!!!! This is, of course, all she wants for dinner. I raised my voice and used the f-word, so she's pissed as hell at me. Well, I'm pissed at her. I already warned Mom she's angry about the room switch. Mom is so fed up with this bullshit that she's ready to tell grandma to go to Hell and we'll move out. I think she really does mean it this time. I know I am. I want to get away from this existence so badly I can taste it. My coworkers and friends have no idea how I've lasted this long. I think I must be a masochist. That's the only explanation.

On a good note, Kim's coming over so we can reserve our hotel and flight for Dragon*Con. I hope the wireless extends to the porch, because I don't feel like being stared at by a bitchy demented old bat.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Mom's home

Mom came home Tuesday. The diagnosis has ranged from a TIA to a migraine to the earliest stages of MS. She has a bunch of other tests to go through and we'll see.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

This has not been a good day, well, weekend. TAFH came in Friday night. Cool beans, right? I had to work and had a pretty good time, actually. Then, Saturday morning Mom and I took off for breakfast downtown. We had a nice meal. She left to work a bake sale and I went to the library to research. While there the author of I Heard You Paint Houses gave a talk on his book and the various mob connections in the area. After that I went to see Iron Man again. Sounds pretty good, right? It was. Friday night and Saturday morning were the best part of my weekend.

Right after the bus pulled out of downtown to go to the mall so I could get to work, I got a phone call. Mom was being driven to Mercy Hospital from Honesdale because her leg wasn't working right. I just stayed on the bus and rode it right back to where I'd gotten on, making a number of phone calls the whole trip. It's a damn good thing I finally put minutes on the silly cell phone Friday night! I had been down to 10 cents. My brother and I stayed at the hospital until it was clear she was being admitted. They ran the usual gamut of tests minus the MRI. That is scheduled for tomorrow. It turns out the neurologists believe she has complex migraines. She has a history of migraines, so this really isn't too much of a shocker. We found this out this morning.

Mom's Mother's Day hospital stay isn't really the bad part and as I'm typing this I'm calming down even more because the whole weekend could have been so much worse. The problem stems from TAFH's OCD anal-retentive fucking attitude. Obviously, I had a disagreement (to be polite) with the woman today.

It was all about the house. She insists on cleaning, or re-cleaning, the house every time she comes in because we don't do things to her exacting standards. She calls it "a pig-sty." I am "lazy" because I don't clean it from top to bottom, just the way she likes it, every day. I will freely admit I don't clean as much as I could or even should. I refuse to run the vaccuum and do the dishes only when I absolutely have no other choice. I'll do anything else, though. The house may not always be immaculate, but it's always at least neat.

Now, in her defense (sort of, since she was only using it as an excuse for her normal behavior), she kept insisting that the cleaning we had to do was all for Mom's benefit, because Mom shouldn't have to come home to it. Well, after an hour of being pecked at I decided to leave the house. Without doing what she wanted me to do. I did some of it, gathered my things and told Grandma I was going for a walk. She followed me out the door and tried to tell me off. I am proud of the fact that her face is all still in one piece. If I could have, she'd be sharing Mom's room due to extreme bodily trauma and I'd be sitting in jail right now, happy as a clam for finally tearing her smug, superior face and attitude to shreds.

My only regret right now is that I broke down and told Mom what happened. Mom's in the hospital with migraines brought on by stress and work and I had to add to it. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I'm sorry. My brother, who was told by TAFH what happened, asked me not to say anything a bit too late. He was surprisingly restrained in what he said to me. Other than telling me I have no common sense, as usual, the ass, he told me I had to control my emotions. I told him I control them a heck of a lot more than he thinks I do. I need to use better judgement, though in when to control them according to him. Usually he just comes solidly down on TAFH's side, so as annoying as his "advice" was I was proud of him for not just jumping on me totally.

I told Mom as I was walking to the crick. There's a spot there that I can sit and relax. Today I cried a bit with Mom on the phone and then by myself. Then a wind came up as I was sitting there with my eyes closed. It dried my tears and kept going until I felt some of the pain lift away. Between it and the sound of the water, I was able to calm down. I'm still upset. I will be for a while, but not nearly so much as I was. I may not be the most devout Pagan, but every once in a while They make Their presence known and I'm grateful for it.

I wrote a lot more than this while I was sitting at the hospital with Mom and my brother. I'm much calmer now, though and don't need it all written out.

TAFH is giving me the silent treatment and she and Grandma have gone to visit Mom. I warned Mom and told her to be nice. She said it'll be difficult, but the pain and drugs will mask any distant behavior, I think. She's more upset with TAFH than me. I just have to get through a few more hours and TAFH will be gone and all will be back to normal. Well, as normal as this household gets. I imagine Grandma will have words for me.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Iron Man

Okay, I just have to say that Iron Man rocks! I loved this movie. I really want to go see it again. I don't say that often.

I won't give anything away, but you simply must stay after the credits. If you don't, you'll miss something great.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Feminism

One of my favorite authors is a proud and unabashed feminist. She doesn't just admit this fact, she glories in it. She has blogged about why she calls herself a feminist at least twice in the time I've read her blog. Each post has been beautifully eloquent. My only problem is that I fail to see why she must explain herself. Why aren't we past the attitude that feminism is bad?



Here's my take on feminism. It's one of the many, interconnected ways we of the greater society will achieve equality for all people, not just women. My idea of equality is that each person will bear the same rights and responsibilities under the law and in society's eyes. It's an all-inclusive cultural attitude change.



There is nothing evil about feminism, just as there is nothing evil about not being a feminist. To those of us who actually call ourselves feminists and work, in whatever way, to achieve the equality we seek, non-feminists just don't get it. Of course, to them, we don't get it! It's reaching the happy medium between the two attitudes that's the real trick. One of these days it may actually happen. I just hope that I'll be around to see it.



I'm sure some people will never agree with the ideas that women have the same abilities and ambitions as men. I'm even willing to accept that there will be individuals of both genders that will refuse to change and will keep teaching archaic attitudes to their children and grandchildren. As long as they aren't too obnoxious, I can deal with those people. I do it all the time as it is.



Amazing, isn't it, that I started out writing about why I felt Tammy shouldn't have to defend her strong feminism and I ended up writing a post defending it myself. Obviously, even those of us sure of our beliefs when it comes to feminism still feel we have to defend it. Even though there's nothing wrong with us we still get treated to such flattering terms as "feminazi" or "man hater" among others. Such labels are, of course, used to make us stand out and feel lessened in the eyes of ourselves and society. Obviously, it's successful to a degree. You know what, though, it just makes us more determined to make the good chamnges we see as possible in society.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Rationality vs. Irrationality

Mom is expecting rational behavior from an irrational person again. TAFH told Grandma she'd call. She hasn't, therefore Grandma is angry and bitchy and taking it out on us. I want to just call TAFH, but Mom keeps saying Grandma "has to realize she can't take things out on us."

Hello! She's demented! That's what she does.

Mom's gone to work, so I'm going to disobey her and call TAFH anyway. I'll just lie and say she actually called here. It's either piss off Mom or keep dealing with a pissed off Grandma. Frankly, I deal with Grandma more often, so guess which option I'll choose.

*snort* I'm 31 years old and still worrying about pissing off my mother. I'm pathetic.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I am good. The weather is simply gorgeous. It's warmer outside than in. So, to get Grandma to go outside, I washed her chair off and told her how warm it was. This, of course, didn't work. I didn't expect it to. What did work was telling her that if she wasn't going to go outside, I would. Her natural bitchiness, er, I mean contrariness, means that she would go outside then to kick me out of "her" chair.

It's about damned time she got outside. Supposedly it's going to be nice tomorrow, too. Maybe she'll start cheering up a little bit. She may not stay outside for long each time, but she will keep going out and in and out and in and out...

Monday, April 14, 2008

It's getting bad. TAFH was in this weekend for my cousin's baby shower. Before she left yesterday, Grandma was crying. Then she was extremely difficult when it came to taking her pills. It took until nearly midnight. I got so little sleep I was even a little late for work.

Today she wouldn't eat, so her blood sugar plummeted, of course. I got some spaghetti in her, but she must have eaten it too fast because she threw up a bit of it. So she had to screech at me when I asked her if she wanted anymore a couple hours after she'd recovered. She did eat a pear for me, since her sugar was only 81. Then argued about her pills tonight. She has taken them, but it took about an hour and her bugging at me.

It's just so frustrating. She obviously wants to go. What can I say to her when she says she wants to die? I gave her a kiss today and her comment was that that wouldn't help. In my mind I know she's ready to go and that it would be a blessing for everyone, most especially her, but I mourn her everyday already. My Grandma has been gone for a while. She just visits periodically and then is replaced again by Mrs. Hyde.

I know there's nothing I can do but try to take care of her and keep her happy. I just wish there was more I could do.

Friday, April 11, 2008

As Yoda would say - Scranton really sucks sometimes.

Pissed off, I am.

Scranton has an ordinace requiring a City Archivist. Guess what we currently do not have and according to the secretary I spoke with, we haven't for quite a while. Dammit, I need information apparently only said non-existant archivist can help me with!

If I had time, I'd volunteer for the job.

Of course, that means they'd have to find the missing boxes of documents that might contain the very documents I need.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Jaws and cheezy movies

I have mentioned before my love of cheezy sci-fi movies. I just watched Rock Monster and am now watching Kraken. Two Jaws references in two movies. Yeesh! At least they're recycling a great movie rather than a bad one.

Part of the scene where the villagers in Rock Monster are trying to figure out what to do was lifted from the scene where Quint is introduced in the town meeting. This time it was Jon Polito throwing a firecracker instead of fingernails on a chalkboard to get attention. He even used the line "You all know what I do."

In Kraken, the young dude who was just playing tonsil hockey with the professor's assistant uses the "We need a bigger boat" line in a totally inappropriate place.

Gods, I love this type of movie.

Monday, March 17, 2008

S.E.X.

I've stashed lately. A lot. I bought three patterns from Heaven and Earth Designs and ended up with four by mistake:





















I meant to buy Kissing Frogs, College of Magical Knowledge and the Story storykeep. The guys at Heaven and Earth Designs sent me the first two and the Spirit storykeep instead of Story. When I let them know, they told me to keep Spirit instead of sending it back, like I thought I should. Cool. I like it.



I also bought a few books from Ollie's, mostly Christmas designs. As if I really need more of them, but I found a nice pattern for a Mrs. Claus doll I may use.



I finished the golden eagle/flag pattern for one of my co-workers. It turned out so well, I'm remaking it in 16 count for myself. My brother is probably going to be deployed to Iraq again in September, this time for a year. I'm thinking of making it for him for Christmas to put up in his quarters there.



I should even be receiving my fabric for Stargazer and Fairy Moon soon.


Now, if I can just finish that stupid baby blanket in time for the munchkin to be born, I'll be happy. I've given up on being done by the shower.

Alright, Governor Paterson

I just have to say, I love this guy already. He actually used the phrase "AN historic", instead of "A historic" in his speech.

Good luck, Governor.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Chippendales

Oh, I just have to say, I had a blast at the Chippendales show last night. I would definitely go again. My only complaint was that they didn't show enough skin. Take those thongs off, men!

If you follow the link, look for Kevin West. He was my favorite, reminding me of Brendan Fraser - my true lust. Definitely honorable mentions were the emcee Devin Michaels (Gods, how I love Asian/Polynesian men), the blonde Kevin Art and the singer/lecher Bobby K (who was having so much fun feeling up the ladies he might actually be straight).

Grandma returns

Well, she's home and not too pleased with the new floor, even though she helped pick out the color and everything. Even though she says this one is "okay", she says the old floor wasn't bad. You couldn't get it clean! TAFH enthused over the floor, but even that didn't help. I know it's part of the disease. She hates anything we change of hers. She thinks we get rid of all of her stuff and seems to think we want to get rid of her or something.

When we talked about it last night she actually said the old floor wasn't that old. It was put in before I was born and I'm 31! The floor in the pantry has holes in it. We're not going to use the same laminate we did on the kitchen, though. We found a better, more waterproof one for the bathroom and pantry with the same colors as the kitchen laminate.

She's just not that happy right now. Of course, part of it is the fact that she's no longer with TAFH. I actually told my aunt once that if Grandma could replace Mom and I with her, she'd be on top of the world. My aunt only looked at me.

Mom and Grandma are watching the parade right now. Hillary's not there yet. Please, please, please let the drunks keep it low-key. All we need is for Scranton to be remembered forever as the Drunken City.

I'm going back to my stitching program now.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Vacation is ending

Grandma comes home tomorrow. The floor in the kitchen is done, but for the trim. It looks pretty good - so much better than the old linoleum.

It's actually been a pretty good week even though I really thought I'd catch up on missed sleep and that didn't happen. I found corroborating evidence on a relative's death date today and on Tuesday I identified the last printer's mark in my twelve-year research project on the marks carved into the Albright Library. Monday, Mom and I went to Hillary's speech. I was impressed. I have a few questions and still want to hear Obama speak, but at the moment, I lean toward her.

So, add the stuff from the other days to the feeling of accomplishment in getting the floor done and having it look so pretty, it's been a nice little vacation.

Did I mention that I'm going to the Chippendales with friends tomorrow night? Too bad you can't tuck the money in the g-strings anymore. And I've been invited to a party next Saturday. It never rains but it pours. I go from no social life to a crapload of things happening at once. Weird.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

B Movie Predictability

I must say, I love horrible sci-fi and horror movies. There's nothing better than watching gallons of fake blood spurting out of the shoulders of a moron who just stood there silently screaming as an ogre bites his head off. If they're stupid enough to just stand there then they deserve such a fate. I just have a question. Why don't any of them run? Hello, ogre here about to chomp your head off and you just want to stand there? Cool, pass me the mustard to go with the Heinz 57 the Sci-Fi Channel bought by the vatful.

I must say, I really do love the leaf pattern back-scales on the CG ogre. And why a loincloth? Does an ogre whose sole purpose is to eat a villager once a year really bother with such niceties?

And everybody just poofs away happily. Of course, the good witch is given just enough time for a tearful and meaningful goodbye to the two heroes. Now, how are they going to explain away their friends deaths and the theft of the police car? No answer, just a ride off into the sunset fadeaway. Those two are going to be locked up for life.

Now it's on to a gargoyles attack film I think I've seen a million times. Ya gotta love a mob of villagers with pitchforks and torches accompanied by crossbow-wielding priests.

Thank the gods for the Sci-Fi Channel and its Saturday monster flicks.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Evolution Rocks!

I found an interesting blog entry today about teaching evolution in the classroom. As I am a "devout evolutionist" I felt I should share in the fun.

Greg Laden - Teachers Under Fire

Also, here is a link he shared that looks very cool.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Lords of Avalon, Sword of Darkness

I forgot to add this. I got my copy of SK's Lords of Avalon, Sword of Darkness #1. I liked it. The artwork really does suit the story and they seem to be keeping the storyboarding neat and clean without sacrificing too much of the novel. Kerrigan was a lot of fun - actually, he still is. Now I just have to figure out where I'm going to store comic books in my way-too overpacked room. In about a year and a half, I've managed to collect three omnibus editions (and want two more). Getting individual issues and finding a safe place for them is going to be a challenge.

For more information on what I'm babbling about: LOA

Family tree fun-time

TAFH is here, so I was able to go to the library yesterday for research. It was a good day. I found the one thing I needed to connect a family to mine, so I now have a new great-great-great aunt, as well as a new cousin in the form of a girl I played with all of the time when we were kids! I also spoke to my godmother and she's going to find out if any of the relatives know anything about a baseball team a great great uncle of mine played on.

I do have one gripe about genealogical research. It's that damned 1890 Census! If it hadn't burned to a crisp there are so many answers it could have provided me. Why, oh why, did Pennsylvania have to be one of the areas that burned? The southern states do me no good! *sigh*

I'm a little excited about next week. The plan is that on Friday Mom will drop Grandma off to stay with TAFH until the following Friday. So, if the plan goes right Mom and I will have a week off. Mom has taken the time off as vacation time and will be working on the kitchen floor. I will, of course, be unskilled, unpaid labor in between going to work at four every morning. Mom says I'll have time to do research. I'm not too sure about this, of course. However, Saturday morning I'm planning to be out of here before Mom can get me. Oh, and I'll try to tag one of the weekdays for research after work. How successful I'll be at my attempts to escape laying down flooring every day, I'm not sure. We'll see.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Movie Night and Tunes

I'm doing a happy dance to the sounds of all of my music at the moment. My IRS return was in the bank last night when Kim and I went to the movies, so we took a detour and bought my iPod! It's a black 80 gb, which will be more than sufficient for my purposes and allow me to download podcasts and such. So now I just have to upload about 250 cds onto the silly thing.

After I bought my new toy we went to the Cinemark and had to choose between Vantage Point and Jumper. We really wanted to see both...so we did! I paid for the tickets for Vantage Point and Kim paid for Jumper. Before we went to Vantage Point we got something to eat: almost $6 for a hot dog with no bun, bag of chips and they forgot my pickle. Oh, well. It was a fun night.

Vantage Point was the best of the two, although I did really like Jumper. If you haven't read anything about Vantage Point, here's a small warning. The movie is told from the perspective of about six or seven people or groups of people, hence it resets at 11:59:57 every fifteen or so minutes until the last where all is told. It resets about five times. The audience we were with didn't know this. It was so funny. The guy next to me told his wife, "I didn't know it was Groundhog Day." Most of us were laughing or groaning when it reset, including the guy next to me. Kim caught something in the promos I hadn't so she figured one thing out before I did, but I figured a different twist out before she did. It was fun and very well done. The resets serve the story extremely well. I'll be buying it.

Jumper is a fun adventure. Hold your breath for a scene in Tokyo. Whew! Samuel L. is, of course, awesome. Does he ever do a bad job? If so, I need to see it. I think Christian Haydensen had fun with this one. The idea itself is neat. If you could teleport yourself anywhere in the world, where would you go? We were talking about it after the movie. Kim brought up the fact that you'd never be late for work. I like that. I, being the pathetically devoted person I am, said that my first visit would be to the crown and torch of the Statue of Liberty. That would be the only way I'd ever see them because the stupid National Park Service won't open her up to the public like they should, the jerks.

Anyway, back to the uploading. It's going to take me a few days to get everything on there and sorted.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Baghdad blog

I just have to pass on this blog: Baghdad Burning. It's amazing. The author has moved to Syria and the last post was made in October of 2007, but reading her earlier posts are stunning.

the house needs fixed... ;p

Mom is making plans again. Supposedly Grandma is going to be going to TAFH's house for a week in March. Mom has taken it off as a vacation week (she gets two, the *itch!) and is going to be working on the floor in the kitchen. Personally, I would wait until we were sure the skunk had moved out of the crawlspace under there, but that's just me and my wish to never be sprayed by one of the little stinkers. She says I can have some time to go to the library for research, but we'll see if that actually materializes. I have a feeling I'll be doing a ton of repair work instead.

To be fair, the floor needs to be replaced. It's old and looks it. The idea is to replace the kitchen flooring and at some point this summer, raise the floor in the bathroom, fixing the shitty remodel my uncle did years ago and give it a new floor as well. Thanks to the skunk we also have to dig up the foundation of the house, add 15 inches of galvanized steel around it (and out, like an L) so the little buggers don't crawl under next winter. Oh, and did I mention Mom's plan to use chicken wire instead of galvanized steel for the front half of the house that the skunk has never approached before? It'll be less expensive, so hopefully we can do that for a good bit. That $600 rebate is all spoken for.

If I listed all of the items that need to be repaired in this house, any reader would blanch. A partial list reads thusly:
1. replace floor in kitchen, bath, pantry
2. raise floor in bathroom and repair the bathtub/shower area so it stops leaking down the wall
3. finish the ceiling in bathroom
4. reinforce the porch which is being held up by crumbling bricks
5. replace porch steps
6. fix upstairs windows to block off the holes my uncle left that you can see through right to the outside

Should we just demolish the house and start all over?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

PC? What's PC?

I must share these hilarious Pre-PC ads from Asylum.com.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Time is Unimportant

I've come to the conclusion that we should no longer tell Grandma if she's going somewhere until it's literally time to leave. This includes weekend trips to stay with TAFH. She's driving me nuts.

Almost every hour she's asking if it's time to go yet. She keeps putting on her shoes (or only one of them) and takes off her Lifeline pendant. Her pills and apron have been packed a number of times. *sigh* No matter how often we tell her she's not leaving until Thursday, it's just not sinking in that today is NOT the day she leaves. I suggested to Mom once that we mark big X's off the calendar, but she told me she doubted Grandma would even look at it. She's right.

Beyond that, she seems to be really spiteful lately. She's also upset with Mom for working nights so often lately. Mom can't help it. She lost a manager and has to take up the slack. Oy. I need a few days off. We're even having caregiver trouble right now an d have none for the week at all. In all likelihood, I'm going to be calling off work Thursday and making up as much of it as possible by working as late as I can stand it on Friday. It never rains, but it pours.

I hate dementia. I want my Grandma back.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Successful Recipe

I made some Au Gratin Potatoes tonight from a recipe I found on a website. Grandma wanted seconds!

I fiddled with some of the ingredients to make sure it was GF, but it still turned out well.

May I repeat? She asked for seconds!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Poison Gas

FYI - If you use a homemade recipe to get rid of skunk smell don't mix Aldi's Reeva Citrus Splash dishwashing liquid, chlorine bleach, water and baking soda. Mom just tried and we had the whole toxic gas thing going on. This, of course, happens right as the lady comes to give Grandma a bath in the same bathroom Mom just gassed. Thankfully, the lady was pretty cool and had done something like that herself once.

We're not quite positive as to what caused the interaction, but don't even try it. We think it was the Reeva since it probably has some acid in it to give it the citrusy smell.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Belated Blog for Choice

I missed it. In my current self-absorption I missed Blog for Choice Day. Let me link any of you readers out there to a particularly wonderful installment by one of my absolute favorite authors and stunningly eloquent feminists: Tamora Pierce.

For the record, I'm happily Pro-Choice. I simply feel that each woman should have the right to make her own decision about whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term given her own financial, familial, religous, philosophical and ethical beliefs. No person, religious group or governmental agency has the right to tell me what I can do with my own body.

I do wholeheartedly admit that I would prefer an adoption be the result of an unwanted pregnancy. There are many women who cannot have children and want them. If a woman can carry the pregnancy out, then cool. There is still nothing that should force a woman to stay pregnant when she has compelling reasons not to.

Oh, that line about choosing life because my mother did...please. My parents planned me and my brother.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Grandma Update

I have been remiss in posting lately. Part of the reason is my genealogy research. I'm trying to get as much of my old information recreated as possible. I've also just realized that the library is open until 9pm on weekdays, so for the last few weeks have gone there a total of four times when Mom is home! My computer just makes it so much easier.

The other part is that I just haven't felt like being online and sociable. Grandma took a really bad turn and I've been sitting downstairs after work with her rather than going up to my room and doing whatever. She needs help getting off the couch a lot. She wanders from room to room for no reason. She stares and stares and stares at me while I'm stitching or plugging away at my computer across from her. *shiver* It's creepy. When I have been online, I've briefly looked at my livejournal friends list and played Runescape, which I am working really hard at NOT allowing to become an addiction. I actually let my email build up over a week. I had 500-some when I finally checked it a week ago.

I will admit to being somewhat selfish and hogging the remote. The only time she said anything about it was when I had Spaceballs on. I just figure if I'm going to be sitting there waiting to wait on her, I'd better at least get to watch what I want, darn it.

The doctor told Mom Tuesday that she's at the stage that we should just try to make her comfortable and not stress her. That means we shouldn't insist too hard when she doesn't let us take her sugar or give her pills or food. *sigh* I'm not quite able to just let her blow us off completely like she wants to do. He said she could go fast or slow, but her body is winding down. *snort* I could have told him that years ago. These last TIAs really did some damage, though.

Part of the problem is the Winter. She always goes downhill in the Winter. She perks right back up in the Spring, though, so I'm not marking her down for the count yet. If she makes it until Spring or Summer, I anticipate having to go through this again next Autumn and Winter. We'll see what happens.

Oh, and she's back to her nocturnal thing again. She sleeps all day and wanders around all night. A few nights ago we heard a crash at 12:03 AM (I looked at my clock). I heard Mom getting up so I just fell back to sleep. She told me the next morning that she found the tray table next to the couch on the floor and one of my cousins' pictures next to it. She asked her why it wasn't on the wall and Grandma replied that she had been trying to make sure she could save all of her pictures if the house was on fire.

This is the kind of behavior and reasoning we're seeing a lot more of.